Do you visit your out of state single adult children

[Anonymous]

Do you visit them or do they visit you? Do you stay with them or in a hotel?

[Anonymous]

Both! When he visits us, he stays in his old room. When we visit his city, we stay in a hotel (he lives in a group house with roommates, not really room for us).

[Anonymous]

We go to him and he comes to us. When we go to him we stay in a hotel or Air BnB because he has a roommate and no guest room. But we spend time at his apartment, just don't sleep there.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course! When our adult children visit - they stay with us. When we visit them we stay in an airbnb.

[Anonymous]

Certainly!! I want to know their area. Relationships are a two-way street. You've got to learn what life is like in their new area. Or you won't stay close. And mine have moved around a lot. Different cities, different apartments, living situations. One time I brought my own blow-up mattress (never more than 2 its, to be polite) Far more common is hotel. I plan other things to do nearby. Even if the visit were just a couple of meals, it would be well worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Certainly!! I want to know their area. Relationships are a two-way street. You've got to learn what life is like in their new area. Or you won't stay close. And mine have moved around a lot. Different cities, different apartments, living situations. One time I brought my own blow-up mattress (never more than 2 its, to be polite) Far more common is hotel. I plan other things to do nearby. Even if the visit were just a couple of meals, it would be well worth it.

Good advice.

[Anonymous]

As an unmarried adult child who lived several hours away from my parents from ages ~25-45, I can say I really appreciated having them visit me and get to know my new cities and some of my friends in each place. They visited me every place I lived, not often, but at least once in each location. I can tell my mom has fond memories of those trips and appreciates having spent some time with my friends from there, when they come up in conversation or come visit me in DC now I'm back here.

Also, no major resentment, but it can be an ongoing low-level stress on the unmarried adult when their siblings who have kids become the inevitable center of gravity for family gatherings. It makes sense that it should be so, but it really is nice to have visits and get to be the host and local expert some of the time, to balance out holidays that are more likely to be spent with the family with kids.

[Anonymous]

I am not single, but I don't have children, and my out-of-state mom visits me. She lives in suburban NJ and thinks it is fun to be in the city (I live in DC). She also has an old friend who lives here that she can visit when she sees me. She stopped coming for a while when her parents were sick and she was taking care of them. My grandparents have unfortunately passed away but was happy to be able to make trips again after we stopped worrying about COVID.

I visit my parents too. My mom usually comes alone when she visits, and I can see my dad, brother, and other relatives when I go to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not single, but I don't have children, and my out-of-state mom visits me. She lives in suburban NJ and thinks it is fun to be in the city (I live in DC). She also has an old friend who lives here that she can visit when she sees me. She stopped coming for a while when her parents were sick and she was taking care of them. My grandparents have unfortunately passed away but was happy to be able to make trips again after we stopped worrying about COVID.

I visit my parents too. My mom usually comes alone when she visits, and I can see my dad, brother, and other relatives when I go to them.

Oh, and my mom stays with me, even though I have a smallish condo. I have a second bedroom but I use it as an office so she sleeps on a couch. Back when my husband and I lived in a 1-bedroom apartment my parents/mom would stay in a hotel when they visited.

[Anonymous]

We don't usually stay overnight with our single adult child but our summer house is not too far away so we are often in the city for dinner or other things so see DC frequently. Plus DC comes to the beach house regularly.

[Anonymous]

My parents never came to visit until there was a grandchild. I lived alone for ten years two hours away and never once did they come down minus to help with a move. I even had a guest room, no roommates. And invited them. Unsure what to hang up was. Ok with it now. Long past.

These responses are nice to read.

[Anonymous]

Both, although she visits us more - mainly because she also has friends in the area she wants to see, she wants to spend time with the childhood pets, etc. She stays at our house but will sometimes spend a night or two at a friend’s place.

When we visit her, we stay in a hotel. She lives in NYC and has a tiny apartmenr,

[Anonymous]

Occasionally but weary of overwhelming them so not as often or as long as i would want.

[Anonymous]

Yes - DH and I love visiting our son in the midwest! He has a one-bedroom apartment, so we stay in a hotel nearby. It's a treat to spend a week or so with him each year exploring the region, going out to eat, and hanging out at his place. He also comes home several times a year (always at Christmas and usually at least 2 other times).

[Anonymous]

We visit both kids about 2 x per year and they come to us too so I feel we see them in a fairly regular basis. They are in 2 different
cities so always lots to do -we stay in hotel or air b &b.