Holiday/birthday gift tradition extend to new family member or not

[Anonymous]

I have 2 kids, and they are age 3 & age 7. We don't have much tradition for holiday/birthday, except both sides of grandparents get gifts for my kids on christmas/birthday. And, if it works, we meet up together since everyone is local.

My brother & SIL got married after dating for 2 years & they have a baby girl. I give them some cash plus pass them all big & small baby items, and they are all in great condition. I am thinking since holiday season is coming up & we have a new family member, should I give my niece holiday/birthday gift as a new tradition? They have never gotten my kids any holiday/birthday gifts, so I am not sure if they want to do this kid gift tradition (it could be a burden for some family as a hassle). They have asked me to pass them everything from now on because I happen to have a daughter (age 3 one). I purchased everything new, and I decided not to sell any but pass all to them. I don't know if passing them everything is considered a great gift (I have already given them probably $2k worth of baby stuffs inc. cash as of now) already which I probably don't need to buy something new for niece every year.

As our culture tradition, they were supposed to do a wedding/reception and baby 1 month celebration, and they skipped everything, probably to save money. My parents were a bit upset because there's zero family photo or family dinner as a sign to celebrate the weeding/newborn. It is their choice, so we didn't say anything, but we still gave them cash gifts as celebration for their new life chapters.

How could I know if they want to do holiday/birthday gift tradition or not for kids only? My kids have everything, but I bet they will be upset if they see that I give niece gifts on holiday/birthday & they don't get them anything. I don't want to hint the question to ask them because it seems kind of awkward as well.

[Anonymous]

Do the same for all the kids. If you’re not giving gifts to your own kids for the holiday then don’t give your niece one in front of them.

[Anonymous]

Just ask.

Larlo and Larla -- I'm starting to do holiday planning. Should we exchange gifts for the kids this year? Or is it easier to keep to the no-gifts tradition we've had so far? Looking forward to seeing you guys soon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just ask.

Larlo and Larla -- I'm starting to do holiday planning. Should we exchange gifts for the kids this year? Or is it easier to keep to the no-gifts tradition we've had so far? Looking forward to seeing you guys soon!

This. Works best to avoid hurt feelings.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely ask them. It's a great opportunity to get everything started off right and make it easier for all of the parents. Weddings, bridal/baby showers, and bar/bat mitzvahs are gift-giving occasions. Anything outside of that is determined by each family.

Ask them what they're comfortable with. If you think they're trying to limit their spending, then they may be relieved to have the discussion.