Dating and frequency

[Anonymous]

I'm dating someone and we only see each other about once a week because of work and other responsibilities. That also means we only have sex about once a week. We're both mid-40s, is it reasonable to think that sex once a week is good enough in this situation or is he likely sleeping with someone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating someone and we only see each other about once a week because of work and other responsibilities. That also means we only have sex about once a week. We're both mid-40s, is it reasonable to think that sex once a week is good enough in this situation or is he likely sleeping with someone else?

Do you have kids? I think if you do, that once a week is actually kind of normal. I’m a single parent dating another single parent, and we see each other 1-2x a week.

Have a talk with him about exclusivity, at least sexually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating someone and we only see each other about once a week because of work and other responsibilities. That also means we only have sex about once a week. We're both mid-40s, is it reasonable to think that sex once a week is good enough in this situation or is he likely sleeping with someone else?

Sex isn't the only way to have an orgasm, ya know. 😋 If you know he's busy with obligations, it seems unlikely he'd be dating a second person too, rather than just trying to have more dates with you. If the mood strikes him more often than once a week, he can wank.

[Anonymous]

I had a relationship like this when I was unbelievably busy with a crushing study schedule in grad school and one a week was not enough. He didn't cheat but it made him unhappy and eventually we broke up and he is married to someone else now, sen though I actually loved him. It's the one relationship I would have done differently if i could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating someone and we only see each other about once a week because of work and other responsibilities. That also means we only have sex about once a week. We're both mid-40s, is it reasonable to think that sex once a week is good enough in this situation or is he likely sleeping with someone else?

I’m a divorced dad 50% custody and sleeping with one person once a week would be great and I would not have time for more than that.

“good enough” - is it good enough for you if he’s not seeing someone else? If you want more, why not just tell him that? You’ll get him thinking about opportunities to make more time for it.

[Anonymous]

I'm older--late 50s, but the last serious relationship when we were together (often every other weekend) there was lots and lots of sex to make up for it. That worked, and no need to cheat.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your responses!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating someone and we only see each other about once a week because of work and other responsibilities. That also means we only have sex about once a week. We're both mid-40s, is it reasonable to think that sex once a week is good enough in this situation or is he likely sleeping with someone else?

You know who would know? Him! You should ask if he is seeing other people for sex health reasons anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating someone and we only see each other about once a week because of work and other responsibilities. That also means we only have sex about once a week. We're both mid-40s, is it reasonable to think that sex once a week is good enough in this situation or is he likely sleeping with someone else?

I’m a divorced dad 50% custody and sleeping with one person once a week would be great and I would not have time for more than that.

“good enough” - is it good enough for you if he’s not seeing someone else? If you want more, why not just tell him that? You’ll get him thinking about opportunities to make more time for it.

I don't have kids, just a dog and a job and hobbies and friends, and I see someone once a week. I would like more sex, but I don't want to be bothered with the rest of it as I have other things I also would like to do, plus you end up with drama and feelings. (I am a woman, BtW).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating someone and we only see each other about once a week because of work and other responsibilities. That also means we only have sex about once a week. We're both mid-40s, is it reasonable to think that sex once a week is good enough in this situation or is he likely sleeping with someone else?

You know who would know? Him! You should ask if he is seeing other people for sex health reasons anyway

THIS, OP. What PP says above.

OP, you post says nothing about whether you and he have clearly discussed being exclusive. "Dating" around here means anything from "In a serious committed relationship" to "two dates, sex on both, and never saw him again." What's your "dating" mean here?

If you have not had the exclusivity talk, you need to have it now. If you feel you can't have that talk with someone with whom you are having regular sex --if you're skittish, or afraid he'll balk and leave if you ask about it--then you are not as close to him as you think, and he's seeing you mostly for sex, not for the relationship. No adult should be leery of talking to a sex partner about exclusivity, and if you are leery, that's a bad sign. Please don't keep sleeping with him if you're not sure you're exclusive, since exclusivity seems to be what you want and need. And you both should have tested for STDs already too. Romantic it isn't, but it's smart.

[Anonymous]

I think this is pretty normal. I have been in this situation more than a year but less than once a week.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I want more out of a relationship than that. Not just sexually, but also emotionally. Once a week or two? Not enough. I mean that’s enough sex but I would want to see th person more often.

Depends on what you want. I’d keep looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating someone and we only see each other about once a week because of work and other responsibilities. That also means we only have sex about once a week. We're both mid-40s, is it reasonable to think that sex once a week is good enough in this situation or is he likely sleeping with someone else?

You know who would know? Him! You should ask if he is seeing other people for sex health reasons anyway

THIS, OP. What PP says above.

OP, you post says nothing about whether you and he have clearly discussed being exclusive. "Dating" around here means anything from "In a serious committed relationship" to "two dates, sex on both, and never saw him again." What's your "dating" mean here?

If you have not had the exclusivity talk, you need to have it now. If you feel you can't have that talk with someone with whom you are having regular sex --if you're skittish, or afraid he'll balk and leave if you ask about it--then you are not as close to him as you think, and he's seeing you mostly for sex, not for the relationship. No adult should be leery of talking to a sex partner about exclusivity, and if you are leery, that's a bad sign. Please don't keep sleeping with him if you're not sure you're exclusive, since exclusivity seems to be what you want and need. And you both should have tested for STDs already too. Romantic it isn't, but it's smart.

Just because she may feel that way doesn't mean the conclusion you're jumping to is accurate. It could be, but one person being shtty at communicating doesn't necessarily reflect on the other person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I want more out of a relationship than that. Not just sexually, but also emotionally. Once a week or two? Not enough. I mean that’s enough sex but I would want to see th person more often.

Depends on what you want. I’d keep looking.

We both have busy schedule. Once a week is what is doable for us at this time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a relationship like this when I was unbelievably busy with a crushing study schedule in grad school and one a week was not enough. He didn't cheat but it made him unhappy and eventually we broke up and he is married to someone else now, sen though I actually loved him. It's the one relationship I would have done differently if i could.

Mid-20s Vs. Mid-40s? yeah. It isn't apples and oranges, but it might be Red Delicious vs. HoneyCrisp. Men's sexual needs change too, you know.