Baby breastfeeding strike, emotional and just down

[Anonymous]

My baby is 4 months 2 weeks old and goes to daycare now. The last two weekends she’s refused to breastfeed and I’m wondering if it’s Because she’s used to a bottle during the day. I get engorged and try repeatedly to feed her and nothing helps. I’ve been emotional about it, crying, feeling overwhelmed and wondering if im getting PPD. Also snapping at my husband. Did anyone experience the BF strike?

[Anonymous]

Hugs to you… Mine went on a nursing strike when he was about the same age and that was the first battle in his very young life that he ultimately won.
He is a teenager now and still as strong willed as he was back then. I bet you will hear tons of “useful advice” on how to break the strike but I always think that those well meaning people never met a truly determined child like mine.

Your child might give in or not - it all will be OK. I ended up pumping and supplementing with formula, and although it was never my original plan my baby was happy and healthy. And that is the only thing that matters. But, yes, it was very difficult for me emotionally back then. So I absolutely understand how you feel now. But for me it also was a great lesson that my child is his own person and I don’t have a complete control over him. And we still joke sometimes about that.

You are a great mother and, please, don’t beat yourself up. Happy and healthy is what really matters.

[Anonymous]

Yes, this happened to me when my office reopened and I started going back into the office on consecutive days. DS had 3 days of bottles during the day in a row and then refused to nurse after that (except in the morning). Flow preference is real. I was able to get him back to the breast but only by completely cutting out bottles for several days (did it over a long weekend). It took him about a day to realize that he wasn't going to get a bottle. It was really, really rough. DS crying because he wanted a bottle was rough, and mentally both the nursing strike and the back to breast process were rough.

PP makes a great point that kids are their own people and things don't necessarily go to plan. Sometimes you just have to go with their flow even if it wasn't what you had originally envisioned. But I think many things related to breastfeeding are emotional rollercoasters even when they are going to plan. (Like right now I am weaning at 1 year, which had always been my plan. But I still feel really sad about it and sometimes debate whether I should stop weaning.)

Sending you lots of love -- there is no easy way out of a nursing strike IMO. However you decide to proceed is the right answer for you and for your baby.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you both for such encouraging and sound advice. Crying here as I read this. It makes me feel not so alone. Thank you. I will proceed based off my child’s needs even though mentally I had a different plan. Really appreciate you taking the time to write back.

[Anonymous]

OP, Just remember, you are doing everything you can for your baby given the circumstances. We aren't always able to plan and direct. This is part of having children. They each have different needs and bring their own challenges to your particular style of parenting. It doesn't matter exactly what decision(s) you make about feeding your baby, getting through a nursing strike of any kind is the absolute pits. Do the best you can to treat yourself well, get as much rest as you can, and remeber that it's all very temporary!

Whatever solution you and your baby come up with has to be right for you. Please go easy on yourself. Ask for any help you need, and if you need to see a Lactation Consultant to help you through it, or even just have a few phone conversations, that may help too.

If yoiu're the only one in your friend circle attempting to BF, join a FB support group or two for moms of newborns!!! Get the support you need no matter what direction thing sgo in with the actual breastfeeding.

if your baby has a great provider, they may know of local support that might help your decision-making.

Get as much rest as you can. You're doing all you can for your family. Don't beat yourself up for a decision that you don't have control over.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for the support and encouragement from all that responded. It helps tremendously. From the last post, I took a lot of the advice and have already went ahead and found a local BF support group. Really appreciate all of you taking the time to write. Means a lot.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a pump? I didn’t like breastfeeding so can’t relate to the emotions but I did pump for many months and found it pretty practical. I wouldn’t get engorged. I would pump while investigating to see if there are other alternatives. I will also say that they get teeth and start talking and I found breastfeeding pretty creepy around the time DC got teeth at 5 or 6 months or whenever it was. Breastfeeding wasn’t going to stay the same no matter what. Also kids telling us they’ve outgrown something is a life long parenting experience! It always hurts a bit but it’s good they are growing up.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your doctor about PPD/PPA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a pump? I didn’t like breastfeeding so can’t relate to the emotions but I did pump for many months and found it pretty practical. I wouldn’t get engorged. I would pump while investigating to see if there are other alternatives. I will also say that they get teeth and start talking and I found breastfeeding pretty creepy around the time DC got teeth at 5 or 6 months or whenever it was. Breastfeeding wasn’t going to stay the same no matter what. Also kids telling us they’ve outgrown something is a life long parenting experience! It always hurts a bit but it’s good they are growing up.

Her baby is 4 months old, not 14 months. Possibly having a bottle preference is not the same as “outgrowing” breastfeeding.

[Anonymous]

OP, my heart goes out to you. Returning to work is hard, breastfeeding is hard, and the hormone rollercoaster is real and makes it all harder. It will get easier, all of it. Sending you hugs.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank all you ladies so much. Appreciate it a lot. I am taking all your advice and my LO is easing up just a bit and trying to feed again.

[Anonymous]

One of my kids went on a strike when he was around 9 months old, and I remember that it was so hard emotionally. Hang in there - I read that most babies that strike do come back to the breast, and mine did after 2-3 days even though I was sure he was done breastfeeding. Fwiw that kid is now 6 and my most stubborn one.