I like one of DC's teachers and really dislike the other; end-of-year gifts must be identical?

[Anonymous]

Really, I cannot stress how much I dislike one of these teachers, and a big reason why is that she outwardly dislikes my son. Even he can tell and has pointed this out during the year.

Nevertheless I think I need to do the right thing and give each teacher the same dollar value gift on May 31. Or do I? Can I give one a $10 gift card to Target and the other one a $50 gift card to Target?

The other thing our family likes to do is write a short letter to the teachers at year's end and tell them how they've made a positive difference in the life of our son. Can I write this type of letter and stick it in the card for one teacher but not the other? I honestly cannot think of one good thing to say to Bum Teacher. I could write on her card though "have a fun summer!" or something.

I guess my actual question is, what is the likelihood that these two teachers are going to compare notes and gifts after school's out for the year?

[Anonymous]

yes, same gift.

a more heartfelt note to the one you love.

[Anonymous]

That's what I thought.

There's no chance they're going to swap letters, is there?

[Anonymous]

What about no gift. I f you feel that way, I would not give anything to either of them.

[Anonymous]

Does it have to be a gift card? The monetary amount is so visible of you do it that way.

Also -- don't just write a note and stick it in the card -- write it to the principal and cc the teacher.

I don't think the amount needs to be the same... unless there is a chance your other child may have the teacher you dislike. In that case, yes, give gifts approximately the same amount.

[Anonymous]

I would pull your favored teacher aside to give her the note - shes probably not dumb and knows the deal with the other teacher. Tell her you really appreciate her work with your son and you wanted to give her a thank you gift.

I would not give anything to the bad teacher.

The good teacher will understand.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here. I very highly doubt they would ever compare amounts but it might be noticiable to give one a gift without the other. A have a nice summer would be fine as a comment.

[Anonymous]

I know it is not PC, but if this teacher is so unprofessional that both you and your son have noticed her dislike, then she does not deserve a gift from you.
Remember, a year-end gift is not obligatory, just a friendly gesture between people who appreciate each other.
I would have no hesitation in treating the 2 teachers differently, since they have influenced your son differently.

[Anonymous]

Why would you give someone you don't like a gift? Esp. someone who doesn't like your kid?

I vote for no gift and no note. Give the other teacher's gift to her in private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you give someone you don't like a gift? Esp. someone who doesn't like your kid?

I vote for no gift and no note. Give the other teacher's gift to her in private.

I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

I would write both notes, but keep the rude teacher's note short and sweet. Just wish her a good summer and find something to thank her for. Write a long note to the teacher you adore. You could do separate gifts and put more thought and effort into the gift for the teacher you like, but I think it would be akward to give one gift and not the other. Hopefully the teachers are unpfessional enough to compare gifts.