Long post...Like, but don't love my DS in-home daycare, #2 is on the way...what would you do?

[Anonymous]

DS is 1 and has been in the same in-home daycare since he was 5 months old. He goes 3-4 days per week but we pay for full-time because it is basically the same cost and I need the flexibility for my PT job (meetings, etc, etc). We have been happy there but have always known that he would probably need a little more structure and stimulation around 18 months. The providers are very sweet but there is not a lot of space and we don't like that they don't really prioritize outside play. Also I don't think they do many organized activities other than singing, dancing and reading books. Our guy is high energy and very social and very physical...early walker, climber, etc, etc. I can't see him cooped up in their little space all winter long. Unfortunately the place we'd like to transfer him to won't have space until maybe Sept 2011.

Options include:

1) Move DS to well-regarded center based care that allows PT in Sept. Would be happy to have him here until K. More expensive but very near DH job. We would pay for 3 days per week and I would lose the flexibility of having FT care available. Also - I am due with #2 in late Oct and would love to have the flexibility to bring DS to day care 4 or 5 days per week in the early days of my maternity leave when I can't imagine being home all day with a breast feeding newborn and a high energy toddler

2)Move DS to less regarded center based care near home in Sept. Less expensive...would pay for FT but only use part time. Would hope to transfer our DS to our preferred place in Sept 2011.

3) Keep DS where he is for one more year.

4) Keep DS where he is until I return from maternity leave...around April 2011 and then move him to the more expensive center above

5) Keep DS where he is until I return from maternity leave and get a PT nanny for both kids.

So - what would you do? Our financial resources will be tight with 2 kids in daycare but still worth me working PT. Can't go FT in my current job and don't think I'd want to. Also - if we do move DS is it better to do so before the baby comes so he has time to adjust or a couple months after baby arrives?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Nice that you seem to have so many option. I would go for #4. No reason to move him now and mess up his routine while you are on mat. leave. And if you can move him when you get off mat. leave to better place that you like, I would go for that? Wish I could say the same for myself. Can't seem to find a place to live closer to our DC center and cannot imaging driving out the Reston from DC two times a day to drop off/pick up DS#1 while I am on mat. leave. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

How often do you use the flexibility? I am part-time and have done both (paid for full-time and paid for part-time). I thought the paying for part-time would be great, but it was a huge pain the butt. It was really hard to find somene to watch him on random days and very disruptive. Worse, my job would tell me I had to work, we'd plan for someone to watch my son, and then my job would change its mind. It was so frusterating. But it may depend on what other resources you have for childcare. Do you have nearby family that could cover on odd days? Would your work adjust to you working set days and not moving them around?

I think the real benefit would be having both kids in the same place for when you return after maternity leave. Is that feasible in some of your alternatives and not others?

If your son is really social, I would stay in daycare -not nanny.

Is the current place a loving environment? I think that is most important for younger kids then structured play.

Also, do go look at the other places yourself if you haven't already. I found some of the ones that are "most regarded" to be ones where i would never want my child. Just because it has a "Bright" in the title, doesn't mean its good

[Anonymous]

Where is your 2nd child going to go -- will s/he be taking your DS's place at the in-home daycare, or have a spot at one of the centers you mention?

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP that you should keep #1 at the current place until you come back from maternity leave. It sounds like your real issue is that he's getting older and could use more activities and outdoor play, rather than you have an issue with the care he is receiving. Can you then move him to the well-regarded center? Or is that 5 months too early (April to September)? If this is a big center, those dates are SO flexible. We were told once that there was no care for our infant one day and then two weeks later we were offered a spot, a FULL YEAR before they said there would be availability. It seems like toddler care might be harder to find because the same kids are moving up to the same number of spots, but people move or have second kids and get nannies or decide to stay at home so you never know.

Not sure what you're doing with #2 but I'd recommend having both kids at the same place, assuming you're OK with their infant care.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks for the responses. To answer the easiest questions first...I am 99% sure that #2 will go the in-home where DS is now. A spot is not guaranteed but the providers will do whatever they can to help this to happen (even it if means having to say no to a new family and going with a month or two gap). And yes, they are very loving...like another set of grandparents. Maybe I need some reassurance that my 18 month old doesn't need to be doing arthimetic drills or playing with the latest montesorri toys (kidding, kidding but you understand).

I have visited the other 2 centers and I did really like the "highly regarded" one (not with Bright in it's name BTW). The other one, in my neighborhood, I felt was just okay. But I have a friend who has her daughter there and has been really happy so that makes me feel a little better.

Not a huge deal not to have both children in the same place all are options are within a reasonable distance...(around the corner from our house, mid-way between home and DH work and across the street from DH work).

Work flexibiilty is where it gets tricky. I would have to be much better at say no to meetings scheduled by partners (easier) and donors (harder). My immediate team is supportive of respecting my schedule..my larger team...less so.

No family around for back up childcare. Unless my mom stops hemming and hawing and finally moves her single, retired self out here. Well, that would just solve all of our problems

[Anonymous]

OP again...just to clarify...the "highly regarded" center is still not our first choice which won't have a spot until maybe Sept 2011 according to their Director. If we could get in there at any time we would jump at the chance. It's in our neighborhood, has an excellent reputation, I loved it when I visited and is extremely reasonably priced. Too good to be true...which is why it is so dang hard to get a spot.