toddler feeding issues

[Anonymous]

Looking for reassurance…😔

My 2 year old JUST DOESN’T want to eat anything! She hates food. Period. Doesn’t matter how much effort I put into making her food tasty, she. Just. Doesn’t. Want. To. Eat. I’ve been to GI specialist, nutritionist, feeding therapist, and just got evaluated for early intervention, so far no one sees anything physically wrong with it, concludes that she’s just picky. But picky should mean limited palette right? She doesn’t like ANYTHING. Not even cake! She’s under weight but ok in height. Every suggestion from doctors and specialists I’ve tried. Nothing has improved her willingness to eat.

Not looking for an ultimate solution, but has anyone else had a similar experience? Please tell me that your child grew up to be fine…or that he/she eventually learned to like food. 😔😔😔 I’m feeling so dejected as she brushed away another full plate of five variety of food I made for her.

[Anonymous]

My toddler goes through phases where he seems to just not eat anything. We try to up his liquid calories when he does that. He doesn’t drink much milk, so it’s hard. But as long as he’s sleeping well and generally in a good mood, I try not to worry about him.

Is she sleeping fine? When she is hungry, what does she eat?

[Anonymous]

How much milk does she drink a day?

[Anonymous]

I follow Jenny Best and her Solid Starts on Instagram. It’s a nice little online community focused on healthy eating habits for babies and toddlers. She started the whole thing because her eldest was apparently the worst picky eater. He apparently still is at 7 but better than he was.

[Anonymous]

How does she get her nutrition?

[Anonymous]

I was the nanny for a then-toddler who didn’t like to eat. He only wanted milk which was restricted to 20 ounces a day (I think). He’s a brilliant seven-year-old now, tall and strong, but still eats only when he’s hungry and not a big amount.

He’ll tell you clearly that he just doesn’t like to eat.

[Anonymous]

I have a 2 year old just like this and it stresses me to the max. People who say “have him eat a cheesburger!” drive me CRAZY. You think my kid is basically off the charts because I have him on a diet?! I would love for him to eat a cheeseburger. But he will drink so we basically cram as many calories as we can into every sip. I haven’t figured out eating at all. Hasn’t gotten better, always a struggle. Solidarity I guess.

[Anonymous]

Keep offering foods she likes and new foods. If she likes to drink make sure she is getting whole or 2% milk, fresh smoothies with fruits and vegetables, and toddler nutrition shakes/drinks plus a dally vitamin.

Sometimes kids just are picky or don’t have much of an appetite. Oftentimes it is a phase, sometimes it is just how they are! I’m sure you’ve tried it, but make sure you provide meals and snacks at set times every day; don’t let your child have toys or screen time when eating; and get her involved: picking foods to try at the store, cooking with you, using a toddler knife to cut fruit etc.

Assuming she is sleeping, using the bathroom, and has normal amounts of energy and all of the many doctors and specialists she has seen think she is fine, then lower your expectations and level of concern. If she’s growing in height and not actively losing weight, nine times out of ten they are perfectly fine.

[Anonymous]

Parent of a picky eater here. Mine is 5 now but was just like what you describe at 3 (I think at 2 she was still eating okay? at least less picky and less total food refusal, but by 3 it had gotten really bad).

My biggest piece of advice is: let go of ALL of your expectations of what it means to eat "enough" and to eat healthy, and start from scratch. Like become an alien who understands the concept that a child needs to eat to survive, and that those calories should preferably involve plenty of certain nutrients (protein, vitamins, fat, some carbs).

Serve meals with tiny amounts of a bunch of stuff. You can food prep this stuff weekly and then you just serve a divided plate with a little of like 6 things. A typical plate for my DD at that age was something like this: four small pieces of egg omelette, one cut up grape, one cut up strawberry, two whole wheat crackers, three carrot ribbons, a dollop of yogurt. Then say nothing except "lunch is ready". If she says "I'm not hungry" just accept it and say "okay, well I'm going to leave the plate here for 20 minutes and then I'll put it in the fridge -- let me know if you want some." Most kids will sit down and eat at least one thing off that plate, no matter how picky they are (usually the crackers, but you never know!).

If she expresses any interest in any food, get enthusiastic about it even if it's not a healthy food, and offer it several times a week. For my DD, the first food she got excited about at that age was McDonald's French fries. So I went through the drive through for those fries three days a week for months. I know, it sounds terrible! But first, that's not really that unhealthy for a kid that age (they need fat, they need carbs, they aren't dieting). The sodium is bad but not as bad as a kid who hates eating. The goal was to get her enthusiastic about a food, any food, and then satisfy that hunger. The second food she got excited about was beans and rice, which is obviously way better and I felt much more enthusiastic about serving. She doesn't even like French fries anymore, by the way. But she learned that if she likes a food and asks for it, I'll make an effort to serve it. That was a valuable lesson for her (and me) and got us on a path toward eating more food.

She's still super picky but she eats three meals and a snack every day and most of what she eats is pretty healthy (mostly fruit, whole grains, yogurt, nuts and nut butters, rice and beans). We don't have to beg her to eat and her lunch box comes home mostly empty most days. It's not a struggle. I do wish she would eat more kinds of things (it would make traveling and going out to eat a lot easier) but all things considered, I recognize how far she's come and am happy with where we are at.

[Anonymous]

What DOES she eat? A 24 hour recall may be more helpful in guiding suggestions