Care.com?

[Anonymous]

My mother is coming to live with us. She can get around using a cane. We told her she has to give up her car. She is pretty good but still, aging has taken its toll, as it does. She’s in her 80s. She takes care of herself and doesn’t need assistance with bathing, eating, making herself something to eat, and so forth.

But I will go absolutely bonkers being the only person she relies on.
We were thinking we would hire someone 3 days a week to be a companion, driver, help her run errands or shop, take her to lunch, accompany her to doctors occasionally, etc.

Would care.com be an appropriate place to look? Where else? It would be great if the person could also tidy up on days my mom doesn’t feel like going anywhere or doing anything. Or maybe they could help walk the dogs on those days.

Is all this too much to ask for? I really do not know, since I have never hired someone for a position like this.

[Anonymous]

It is cheaper than an agency, but you must make sure the person is bonded and insured and do a background check. Also, things go down hill fast after falls, etc especially after age 80. Are you prepared to have 24-7 care and have an ambulance get her if you find her on the floor confused after a fall?

If you find someone good willing to be a companion, go to the doctor with her and even walk the dog, then tip like crazy. You are lucky to get someone to occasionally engage and then zone out on their phone. If you need the person to drive, check driving record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is cheaper than an agency, but you must make sure the person is bonded and insured and do a background check. Also, things go down hill fast after falls, etc especially after age 80. Are you prepared to have 24-7 care and have an ambulance get her if you find her on the floor confused after a fall?

If you find someone good willing to be a companion, go to the doctor with her and even walk the dog, then tip like crazy. You are lucky to get someone to occasionally engage and then zone out on their phone. If you need the person to drive, check driving record.

I think you are going too far if you expect this person to look after your mother AND clean your house and walk your dog. Hire a dog walker if you need one. Hire a cleaning service too. I would be kind of insulted if I had credentials, experience and great references as an elder-caregiver and then you asked me to clean.

[Anonymous]

Another thing to consider is that there is a shortage of home care workers. If you want someone good you probably are going to need to offer them full time hours, and that sounds like much more than you need right now.

Have you considered an assisted living facility? You might look for one with tiered levels of care so that she could move to nursing home care easily should she ever need that.

[Anonymous]

My mom is a retired RN and works for an agency that provides this type of care. The mom of one of my friends (also a retiree but with no nursing training) provides this kind of service and finds clients on care.com. No—it’s not appropriate that you expect this person to also be your cleaning service or dog walker.

[Anonymous]

You can filter on care.com by what you are looking for and then see who the matches are. I did a test and you can find people who will look after a senior and do light housekeeping.

[Anonymous]

You’d better pay really well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’d better pay really well.

This. Otherwise you are really taking advantage to expect multiple jobs in one person.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I did filter out by what tasks people are willing to do and it looks like there are some candidates with CNA experience who are $25-35/hr. That doesn’t seem too bad to me, but I don’t know what agencies charge.

I agree if she were high level of care I wouldn’t ask to tidy house or do laundry. But right now she is pretty high functioning for someone her age. I just need a break from being her social support, driving her around, entertaining her. I am sure there will come a time where she needs more care, but aside from an arm to help steady her, she doesn’t need much physical assistance. I would like someone with a certain amount of care experience in case she needs translation to more care, we won’t have to subject her to someone brand new right away.

I just want her to be happy and safe, I do like being around her but I will need breaks with everything else I have to still do in my life.

[Anonymous]

No! Read online some of the stories people have experienced!

I would try to hire a local person, like maybe a nursing student or retired teacher? Someone recommended through your church or synagogue? You can run your own background check.

[Anonymous]

If you want to work one day and the boss said it’s going to be an easy day today why don’t you walk my dog to keep you busy why would you think?

[Anonymous]

I’m a professional at work and we’re understaffed. What makes you think you’ll find someone who is willing to hang around an elderly person all day? So,done here suggested assisted living. That’s also understaffed. The key in life is to never get frail.

[Anonymous]

I had a nanny who also did light housekeeping. How is this any different?

[Anonymous]

I have had great luck finding care givers for my 90 year old father who lives in nyc from care.com. They do his laundry, shopping and light housekeeping. We pay $25 an hour. We also hire a deep cleaner to come in once a month. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP that no one with any caregiving credentials or experience is going to clean your house or walk your dog. Help is not one-size-fits-all. Unless you are prepared to pay far above market rate.