looking for a therapist who can help with relationship between DH and adult DS

[Anonymous]

The relationship between my DH and my adult DS has become very strained, and, unfortunately, they're both pushing me to mediate between them. I doubt that I can get either of them to go to therapy, but I need to talk to somebody. I'd appreciate any recommendations, especially for a therapist who sees patients in NW DC or close-in MoCo (though, honestly, at this point, I'd go to the moon if somebody there could help me). TIA for recommendations.

[Anonymous]

"My adult son" ~ is this his stepson? Or is this a second mariage with other children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"My adult son" ~ is this his stepson? Or is this a second mariage with other children?

I meant to say "our son".

Again, I'd appreciate any recommendations for therapists. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

OP, is your adult son completely supporting himself financially? If he's out of college, or didn't go to college but is 18+, he should be. Two adults who don't get along, get along well-enough, when there is no reason they -have to- be in each other's company.

Soory though, don't know therapists to recommend. I just wonder IF that's called for.

[Anonymous]

I’d make the son move out, skip the therapist.

[Anonymous]

All the folks at Washington Psychological Center are terrific.

That said, this problem sounds more like something for individual therapy for you, not some kind of family therapy for them. But, still helpful for you to get support. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

If your son lives at home then he needs to go, that’s the first step.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the folks at Washington Psychological Center are terrific.

That said, this problem sounds more like something for individual therapy for you, not some kind of family therapy for them. But, still helpful for you to get support. Good luck.

Thanks for responding to my question. Since my initial post, I've found a therapist and am hopeful that things will improve.

To the folks who are assuming that my son isn't financially independent, I can assure your that he has a great job and is living on his own. I do think it's a bit odd that so many people on DCUM seem to assume that other posters are coddling their young adult kids. Even when your kids are moving out into the world in a successful way, you can have some tension in your relationships with them.

[Anonymous]

They will outgrown "some" tension

[Anonymous]

What is the source of the conflict? If DS is living independently, I would suspect DH is struggling with giving up a sense of control over his kid's life and DS is rightly pushing back on that.

[Anonymous]

Two adults do not have to spend too much time together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the folks at Washington Psychological Center are terrific.

That said, this problem sounds more like something for individual therapy for you, not some kind of family therapy for them. But, still helpful for you to get support. Good luck.

Thanks for responding to my question. Since my initial post, I've found a therapist and am hopeful that things will improve.

To the folks who are assuming that my son isn't financially independent, I can assure your that he has a great job and is living on his own. I do think it's a bit odd that so many people on DCUM seem to assume that other posters are coddling their young adult kids. Even when your kids are moving out into the world in a successful way, you can have some tension in your relationships with them.

It’s unusual for a parent to be looking for a therapist to assist with a relationship with a fully self-sufficient adult child. And that is for good reason.

[Anonymous]

Was there abuse, addiction or adultery?

[Anonymous]

I think this is a fair post. My dad and I also seem to have chronic conflict and I haven’t lived at home for over 20 years. He has a very good heart but is also anxious and controlling. It drives me bonkers so I bite my tongue and then eventually explode. So I could completely imagine my mom wishing we could do family counseling to fix that relationship. My dad and I. It’s try, but somehow our get-together a often end in fights. It makes all of us sad, so I get it OP!