Multiple children

[Anonymous]

This may be the wrong board, but since private school is our most likely scenario, this board will probably give the best responses. For any parents out there with multiple children, did you try and get them to attend the same school, or did you evaluate each one individually and send them to their best fit? Ideally both kids would go to the same school, but with AAP being difficult on acceptance and private schools being extremely difficult to get accepted to during covid, there is little guarantee they would even be able to attend the same school unless we went to our local public ( which in our area I would prefer to avoid, however moving is on the table). Does anyone have any real world experience they feel strongly about on this topic? Children are 3 grades apart. I would hate to blow off acceptance for one school trying to hold out for another school that the oldest may get accepted to.

[Anonymous]

This is absolutely something I think about regularly, and my younger child is not of school age yet. So I'm of no help to you in terms of the feasibility of getting both kids in to the same place, but right here for reading all the answers.

(In theory.... if privates give "legacies" a leg up in the application process, wouldn't your second child count as a legacy since older sibling is already there? or vice-versa if you're trying to get the older one into the school that the younger one attends? Or are you talking about trying to apply to the same school for both kids in the same year?)

[Anonymous]

The problem is I missed the boat with my older child. All the entry years are over now. My youngest is going into PK, so applications will be for K.

[Anonymous]

I strongly preferred to keep my kids in the same school, for logistical reasons and because I think that’s a better experience for them as siblings. But they’re quite different academically and that only works if the school is big enough to have a lane for different types. I was able to find both a lower school and a high school that fit all our needs. It’s possible!

[Anonymous]

Yes, we have four kids. When we looked at schools for DC1, we tried to find a school which would serve different kinds of kids. We also heavily weighed sibling preference in admissions.

Ultimately we compromised by sending child to k-8 so that each child would have the chance to find a “best fit” school for high school (we won’t push sending them to the same school). It helped that the k-8 was our first choice and it has a strong sibling preference.

Out last DC is starting at the k-8 next year and the school has been amazing for our other DCs, so imagine this DC will also have a great experience. I really can’t say enough about how nice it is to have all the kids on the same schedule for holidays and breaks. Also very nice to develop a relationship with the teachers and administrators.

[Anonymous]

Disabled child had to go do different schools, but younger kids went to a nearby K-8. Then at high school they each could do their own thing. I do think reducing driving commutes is super important with multiple kids, especially if any of them have after school activities.

[Anonymous]

my experience at a Big3 school is that they are only a great fit for a certain type of kid and there are many siblings who struggle along and aren't happy.

We have a kid who is absolutely thriving at a Big3 (she is a work horse). Another Big3 kid who is constantly frustrated by school (he is just as bright but is not a good fit for the workload) and a third who
we are not sending because we also don't think would be a good fit.
it takes more than brains to thrive at these schools--it takes a desire to really work hard and ENJOY it.

So all that to say--I definitely believe in finding the right school for each kid. You are paying too much for the school to not be a good fit.

[Anonymous]

My kids are at two different privates. They are different kids who need different things from school. Each would be unhappy at the other's school.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 at 3 different schools. When we tried to keep the 2 boys together, based on which school was right for the older DS, younger DS really struggled socially. He is much happier in his current school. And yes, huge PITA but hard to justify paying $$$ for kid to be miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, we have four kids. When we looked at schools for DC1, we tried to find a school which would serve different kinds of kids. We also heavily weighed sibling preference in admissions.

Ultimately we compromised by sending child to k-8 so that each child would have the chance to find a “best fit” school for high school (we won’t push sending them to the same school). It helped that the k-8 was our first choice and it has a strong sibling preference.

Out last DC is starting at the k-8 next year and the school has been amazing for our other DCs, so imagine this DC will also have a great experience. I really can’t say enough about how nice it is to have all the kids on the same schedule for holidays and breaks. Also very nice to develop a relationship with the teachers and administrators.

Another poster with 4 kids. We also did a k-8 for our 4 kids. It made it easy when they were younger to all be at the same school. They ended up attending 3 different high schools.

[Anonymous]

We have four kids at three different private schools. While it would be ideal for all to attend the same school, we have taken the approach of searching for the best school for each of our children; since they're each different, perhaps it's not surprising that we felt that different schools were a better fit.

[Anonymous]

Same school. To be fair, my sons are SOOOO much alike. 2.5 years apart and not only look identical, but very similar interests and both great students with no learning issues.

They have one grade between them and I love their shared experience and that having only one school now makes schedules (days off the same, vacation the same, events, etc) makes our life so much easier.

[Anonymous]

This is all very helpful. Thank you. It sounds like the best school approach is a little better unless the kids are very similar. I do like the same K-8 and then by HS they can drive themselves.

[Anonymous]

Same K-8 for all. Same HS for older two; others TBD.

[Anonymous]

Whether it's private or public, your kids would likely end up in different geographic locations anyway, at the boundaries between elementary, middle and high school, or lower or upper school, unless your private has everyone on the same campus.

My oldest went briefly to a private school, and now both my kids are in publics, but not the same school cluster. They are 5 years apart, and even when they attended the same preschool and elementary for a few years, they were never BOTH at the school at the same time. We always needed to figure out how to get each of them where they needed to be for drop-off and pick-up.