Go by a middle name?

[Anonymous]

Did you ever decide you didn’t like your first name and started going by your middle name? How old were you? Was it hard? We’re your parents upset?

[Anonymous]

Np the people who have done this successfully have done it at two points- between hs and college or between college and their first job. It’s really hard for people to change what they call you. I had a coworker who decided to change his name and it was just hard and confusing.

That being said- I hate my name. I wish it had even the tiniest nickname potential but it doesn’t. I’ve always dreamed of using my middle name. I named one of my daughters my middle name and it makes me happy to say her name daily.

If you hate your name, just change it.

[Anonymous]

I go by my middle name but my parents actually made that choice (a change of heart apparently). Interestingly, my mother also goes by her middle name.

[Anonymous]

Started going by my middle name by grad school. My family and old friends are the only ones who call me by my first name. When the two intersect it can be confusing.

[Anonymous]

I use my middle name for pick up orders, Starbucks, etc …it’s easier to spell

[Anonymous]

I gave my daughter a pretty, longer middle name (not Jane or Ann, etc.) in case this happens.

[Anonymous]

This is my neighbor’s daughter. We’ve known her and her family for 15 years, we’re very close. She’s 13. Her first name is let’s say, unusual. Last winter, she mentioned to me that she hates it. I can’t disagree, but I just told her breezily that it’s a nice name, but that she could always discuss with her parents.

Fast forward to this summer, her mom mentioned that her daughter wants to go by her middle name because she’s embarrassed by her name. The mom, who I’d count as a friend, told me she kind of regrets her daughter’s name, and knew it was “weird” (her word) and that’s why they chose a more traditional middle name. In case the child ever wanted that.

So now the mom is asking how weird it would be to change what people call her. Like how does she make this shift easier? I don’t know, and wondered what others have experienced.

TIA!

[Anonymous]

My parents have always called me by a nickname that comes from my middle name. It’s annoying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np the people who have done this successfully have done it at two points- between hs and college or between college and their first job. It’s really hard for people to change what they call you. I had a coworker who decided to change his name and it was just hard and confusing.

That being said- I hate my name. I wish it had even the tiniest nickname potential but it doesn’t. I’ve always dreamed of using my middle name. I named one of my daughters my middle name and it makes me happy to say her name daily.

If you hate your name, just change it.

I went by middle name through of all high school. When I got to college, all my paperwork used my first name so people started using my first name. I've gone by first name ever since but anyone who knew me during the first 18 years of my life well call me by middle name. It's pretty amusing when childhood friends and family interact with college friends and work associates and it seems like they're taking about 2 different people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np the people who have done this successfully have done it at two points- between hs and college or between college and their first job. It’s really hard for people to change what they call you. I had a coworker who decided to change his name and it was just hard and confusing.

That being said- I hate my name. I wish it had even the tiniest nickname potential but it doesn’t. I’ve always dreamed of using my middle name. I named one of my daughters my middle name and it makes me happy to say her name daily.

If you hate your name, just change it.

I went by middle name through of all high school. When I got to college, all my paperwork used my first name so people started using my first name. I've gone by first name ever since but anyone who knew me during the first 18 years of my life well call me by middle name. It's pretty amusing when childhood friends and family interact with college friends and work associates and it seems like they're taking about 2 different people

When my father left home he started going completely by a nickname based on his last name, something his HS friends had started calling him. It was something like "Tommy" if your last name was Thomson. He HATED his first name and his middle wasn't much better. When he first brought my mom home to meet the family, she kept talking about him by that name and finally his SIL, asked, 'Who Tommy?" LOL Whole family thought this new fiancé couldn't shut up about some other guy Most people outside his home town did not know his real name.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend do this. When by first name in 7th grade and switched to middle in 8th. She's gone by her middle name ever since, and my guess is there aren't many people who know her by her first name--not even her husband!

I had a boss do this when I was in my 20s--she was probably in her 40s. I don't know why she changed it, but she just did. This was pre-email era (or email was early and no one had it at home yet) so she just told people her new name and wore a name tag for a while and reminded people. Everyone caught on and it wasn't a big dea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np the people who have done this successfully have done it at two points- between hs and college or between college and their first job. It’s really hard for people to change what they call you. I had a coworker who decided to change his name and it was just hard and confusing.

That being said- I hate my name. I wish it had even the tiniest nickname potential but it doesn’t. I’ve always dreamed of using my middle name. I named one of my daughters my middle name and it makes me happy to say her name daily.

If you hate your name, just change it.

+1 I agree with this.

I made a similar but not quite first/middle transition. I have a well-known long name and went by a well-known nickname as a child. After college i switched to a different nn that I like better. Example: Elizabeth and switched from Beth to Libby.

I tried to do this in college but there were 2 kids from my high school there and my childhood name was surprisingly sticky. Moved to DC for a job and just introduced myself as the new nickname.

[Anonymous]

I know a couple people who go by middle names, some successfully some not. My daughter goes by her middle name (first is a family name and the good nicknames are taken) and so does one of my good friends (in her case, non-English names and she didn’t like how Americans butcher the first one). My sister tried to switch to her middle name in high school but then kept forgetting to respond when people used it so she went back to her first name. With so many tweens switching to gender neutral names these days I feel like deciding you want to be known by something different will probably be big nothing burger in general, especially around middle/high school when kids are messing around with identity in general.

[Anonymous]

One of my childhood friends went by her middle name all through K-12. We went to different colleges, etc. and lost touch over the years. We reconnected on social media and I realized that she goes by her first name now. All the people K-12 still call her "Middle name", but all her "now" people call her the "First Name." It's all fine.

I don't know the motivation, other than it may have been a pain in the butt to say "please call me Jane instead of Larla". Maybe she didn't like her resume showing "L. Jane Smith"? I don't know.

[Anonymous]

No, but I went by my nickname for well over a decade. I really like my first name, although I wish it hadn’t shifted from: “How do you spell that?” to quite popular. I did have a nickname as a teenager that I used as my preferred name in college and grad school, so people who I met during those years still call me by that name. I switched back to my given first name when I had a professional job that would require lots of signatures, and I thought it might be confusing and possibly seem frivolous.