Does your 5yo realize when they’re being annoying?

[Anonymous]

9 and 10yo cousins are visiting us and 5yo DS is over the moon excited. I’ve noted he doesn’t seem to notice all of the non verbal cues he’s being annoying though (facial expressions, body’s turning away from touch, changes in tone of voice). Like something will start out fun for cousins (playing a poking game, a dumb joke whatever) and then when they’re clearly over it ds just keeps going and going. And then he’s confused when they snap at him.

I don’t see him around other kids much - a few good friends that he’s kind of one the same wave length as but not just general kids at school. So I don’t know if this is his day to day too.

Curious if this is normal for a 5yo or if he’s behind in reading non verbal communication (either due to covid or due to some type of disorder)

[Anonymous]

You need to step in and teach him these things before they snap. Some kids get it it right away and some kids need to be taught. You can also tell the cousins to say "jonny, stop poking me." And if Johnny doesn't stop, to come talk to you.

[Anonymous]

I tell my four year old to “read the room”. We talk about clues that the other person doesn’t like something or is annoyed by something he’s doing and how that feels. We’ve also been talking about body autonomy since he was a baby.

[Anonymous]

This is what peers are for, to provide constant non-verbal feedback of social norms. Does he have much playtime with kids his age? Kids are constantly giving each other social cues (most kids like other kids who are friendly, take turns, don’t cry or whine and are easygoing).

[Anonymous]

My kids recognized this at 5. Did your child miss out on a lot of socialization due to covid? If so he just may need a little time to catch up.

[Anonymous]

This is normal for some kids, especially if there is ADHD and/or ASD. There are also a ton of kids who are more immature than they would have been if covid hadn't been a factor.

[Anonymous]

He is behind if he is a rising first grader. Rising K I wouldn’t worry as much.

[Anonymous]

It's probably normal, just something some kids need a little help with.

I always told my son that stop means stop, whether he's the poker or the pokee (or whatever they're doing).

Be nearby more often and interject when you see it happening.

Larlo, JJ asked you to stop poking him. Stop.

Larlo, stop means stop.

Change in tone/facial expression: Looks like JJ's done with that game, Larlo.

Repeated dumb joke: Ok Larlo we get it! (Change subject).

My friend's 8 yo dd still doesn't follow social cues and maybe it would have been better to start helping her out at 5 or 6. At this point, she gets
sad and victimized when another kid gets stern with her because she hasn't been following cues, and hasn't noticed nice words telling her to cut it out.

[Anonymous]

I think it's normal. I will often step in in these situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to step in and teach him these things before they snap. Some kids get it it right away and some kids need to be taught. You can also tell the cousins to say "jonny, stop poking me." And if Johnny doesn't stop, to come talk to you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to step in and teach him these things before they snap. Some kids get it it right away and some kids need to be taught. You can also tell the cousins to say "jonny, stop poking me." And if Johnny doesn't stop, to come talk to you.

+1

But keep in mind your 5 yo is always going to look socially backwards relative to an older cousin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to step in and teach him these things before they snap. Some kids get it it right away and some kids need to be taught. You can also tell the cousins to say "jonny, stop poking me." And if Johnny doesn't stop, to come talk to you.

+1

But keep in mind your 5 yo is always going to look socially backwards relative to an older cousin.

It’s not so much about the little kid, but about adults not protecting the older ones. It’s like a tiny woman with a gun fighting a bare handed weightlifter.

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old was definitely being kind of annoying to his older cousins on vacation the other week but since they’re a bit older they were charitable about it. I made sure to step in and tell my 5 year old to leave them alone for a bit if I saw it getting out of hand. I also have an 8 year old, and he and my 5 year old annoy each other all the time and tell each other that. I probably hear “stop it X you’re annoying me” from my 5 year old more than my 8 year old actually. I let them hash it out as I figure it’s good to learn these things in a “safe” setting at home. I have never observed either of my kids have trouble reading cues from their same age peers in group settings; not have I ever heard teachers say they have trouble with this. That would concern me more than the older cousin scenario. Kids just get excited in those situations and need us to help them regulate their behavior.

[Anonymous]

This is Covid social delay. My kid had this, and intensive time with peers at summer camp has made a huge difference.

[Anonymous]

When he’s overexcited, it will be harder for him. This is the time for explicit teaching. Tell him that you can tell his cousins don’t like it because you can see they are doing X, and tell him what he should do, instead. And tell the cousins to tell him directly to stop.