Do cheap people pissed you offe

[Anonymous]

Are cheap people pissing you off?
At the end of the month my friend saves about $2000 a month, so it adds up, but now he want to spend $250 on a concert, like you can’t take the money with you. It pissed me off.

[Anonymous]

Wait, you're mad at your friend because he wants to spend money on a concert, and you think that makes him cheap? And why would his decision about how to spend his own money make you angry?

[Anonymous]

I guess that is what he prioritizes spending money on. I have a friend like this and they piss me off because they’re cheap with going out to dinner, paying for drinks etc, but seem to find money for concert tickets. It’s because her friends are paying for her drinks and food when we go out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess that is what he prioritizes spending money on. I have a friend like this and they piss me off because they’re cheap with going out to dinner, paying for drinks etc, but seem to find money for concert tickets. It’s because her friends are paying for her drinks and food when we go out.

Then why do you pay for her drinks and food?

[Anonymous]

Because she snobs about being broke. I guess I’m soft. Not really doing it any longer.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, you're mad at people for budgeting according to their interests and priorities?

Get a life, OP. You are being awful.

[Anonymous]

Lol! No you’re a psycho.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think I’m cheap but I prioritize differently. I get 90% of my daughters clothes from the thrift store and some of mine. But she just got her period ( she’s 10) and I happily spent $50 on period swimwear for her. Well not happily but she loves to swim. We like to see shows too so will spend money on a concert or show because that’s something we like to do as a family. Pay $3-$4 for a soda in a restaurant though? Nope. But I don’t talk to other people about money or complain about it. If I want to do something and it costs money I do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, you're mad at people for budgeting according to their interests and priorities?

Get a life, OP. You are being awful.

Right? How stupid to get mad at someone because they don't spend money on things they don't value and do spend money on things they do. You have your budget, they have theirs. Getting angry is just beyond dumb.

[Anonymous]

Don't go out and expect friends to pay for you.

Don't whine about being broke.

But also, don't criticize people for choosing to spend money differently than you do.

[Anonymous]

What? You need to stop thinking of the way other people save or spend money as having anything to do with you.

Also, how someone feels about their finances is subjective and their own business. You can't tell someone that they should not "feel" broke. People's feelings about their finances are not objectively based on their income or how much they can save. They are often rooted in how they were raised, what their past history with money and especially debt is, and also what possible safety nets they have available to them. Your friend may have grown up in a family where money was always tight, or even just had parents who constantly talked about money like it was very scarce, and that could make her feel broke even when she isn't. Or it's possible she carries a ton of student debt, or has gotten in trouble with credit cards in the past, and those experiences impact how much money she feels like she needs in reserve to avoid getting in that kind of debt again. Or maybe she comes from a poor background or supports other family members financially, or otherwise feels like if she is not careful with her money, she doesn't have a lot of places she can turn to. All of that can contribute to a mentality of scarcity with money that would make an extra 2k a month feel like not enough.

But conversely, it's her money, so if she wants to splurge on concert tickets, that is 100% her choice and has nothing to do with you.

Judging your friend for how she feels about her financial situation, or how she chooses to spend her own money, is a fools errand. It will only bring you grief and will destroy your friendship. You have to learn to stop thinking about this as any of your business.

[Anonymous]

Not as much as people who mangle the English language at every possible opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because she snobs about being broke. I guess I’m soft. Not really doing it any longer.

Well, now you know she isn't broke but just likes to mooch off friends for a good time with them so she can afford splurges on herself.

As they say, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

[Anonymous]

I’m very thrifty on many things but I will spend a lot on things that are very important to me. I think I’m very normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because she snobs about being broke. I guess I’m soft. Not really doing it any longer.

Well, now you know she isn't broke but just likes to mooch off friends for a good time with them so she can afford splurges on herself.

As they say, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

OP never said this friend mooches off her (that was another PP) just act she sobs about being broke. The thing is, the friend may in fact be broke -- OP doesn't really know. Even assuming OP is correct about what the friend is saving, it's a useless data point without know if the friend has debt, if she is saving for something necessary that many people don't have to pay for (like IVF, or an adoption), if she comes from a family with zero financial resources. Heck, even something like whether her work/job provides her with a 401k is relevant -- maybe that 2k a month is her total savings, including for retirement, and thus not actually disposable income.

If the friend is not asking OP to buy things for her, the fact that she says she's broke or that she can save money, or that she splurged on this concert ticket, is all irrelevant.