Help me feel less guilty about stopping nursing

[Anonymous]

I have been heavily supplementing since birth. The reason I don’t exclusively breastfeed is because of very very low supply (we are talking 0.5 oz to 0.75 oz per feed or pumping session including both sides). My baby is now 3 months old and eats about 30 oz of formula a day so the vast majority of nutrition is coming from formula but I put baby to breast before most feedings so he gets some breast milk. I have done what I can to increase supply (seen two different lactation consultants) and there’s no change. It seems I may just not have enough glandular tissue. I do like nursing and I have been hopeful that baby is getting some good things (including antibodies from my Covid vaccine) but I also think hormones are causing me to hold on to extra weight which I’d like to lose now. I feel bad since it’s a vanity thing but I’m not sure how much benefit my baby is really getting given what a small percentage of his diet is breast milk.

[Anonymous]

Your baby is happy, healthy and thriving, yes? That’s all you need to focus on. Energy you put into feeling guilty is energy you’re taking away from your baby. Your baby needs a parent who is present and engaged. Like all of us, you’re doing the best you can, and by all measures you’ve shared here, that’s pretty damn good.

The guilt stops today.

[Anonymous]

I stopped at 3 months as well, after also supplementing the whole time. I just wasn’t making enough milk. I felt a bit guilty at first but was so much happier once I finally gave it all up. I think my son was too - he did not enjoy my low supply either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stopped at 3 months as well, after also supplementing the whole time. I just wasn’t making enough milk. I felt a bit guilty at first but was so much happier once I finally gave it all up. I think my son was too - he did not enjoy my low supply either

Thank you! Yes sometime he will refuse it because he’s hungry and wants the bottle where he seems to know he will get more. He seems to enjoy nursing if he’s not starving and sleepy.

[Anonymous]

You had very low supply and you tried your best. There is nothing to feel guilty about. In fact, even if you did not have a problem with your supply and decided to use formula, there is nothing wrong with your decision. Whatever keeps you sane and your kids fed and happy is the right decision. Seriously.

- Mom who breastfed her kids till they were 3 yrs old each.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your baby is happy, healthy and thriving, yes? That’s all you need to focus on. Energy you put into feeling guilty is energy you’re taking away from your baby. Your baby needs a parent who is present and engaged. Like all of us, you’re doing the best you can, and by all measures you’ve shared here, that’s pretty damn good.

The guilt stops today.

"
Huh? How about, Trust your feelings"?

Don't do something that makes you feel guilty, OP. It will be over in a few more months anyway. Trust your gut.

[Anonymous]

I was able to nurse my kids until 18 months. But I didn't have supply issues and I worked part time from home so I didn't have to pump etc. It was easier for me to nurse. You have to do what is easier for YOU. My kids are teens now and I have no clue who nursed and who got formula. Your baby will be fine if you feed and care for her, whatever she drinks. Hugs to you, the early months are really hard.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely quit in your circumstances.

That said, the way your body loses or retains weight postpartum is a crap
Shoot and may not be related to weaning or not. With both of my children the scale barely budged until 3 or 4 months, and then the weight started falling off rapidly. This is all while I continued to exclusively breastfeed. Others may have a vastly different experience

[Anonymous]

I stop breastfeeding when I was only pumping 0.5 oz per session (it was at 5 months post partum). It wasn’t worth the time I was taking off work and I was squeezing my breasts trying to get anything out which may have contributed to how flaccid my breasts are now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your baby is happy, healthy and thriving, yes? That’s all you need to focus on. Energy you put into feeling guilty is energy you’re taking away from your baby. Your baby needs a parent who is present and engaged. Like all of us, you’re doing the best you can, and by all measures you’ve shared here, that’s pretty damn good.

The guilt stops today.

"
Huh? How about, Trust your feelings"?

Don't do something that makes you feel guilty, OP. It will be over in a few more months anyway. Trust your gut.

Wrong.

[Anonymous]

I had to stop at three months and the second time one month to go on anti-anxiety medication. I felt like a failure until the medication kicked in!!

It’s hormones, OP. Your baby is thriving. My kids are now 9 and 4 and both healthy and smart.

[Anonymous]

I actually wouldn’t quit in your circumstances, OP. Nursing is still providing a benefit to both you and your baby. And you do like it. It doesn’t have to be either/or. It’s still providing your baby with some immunity and certainly skin-to-skin bonding and it’s continuing to tighten your uterus and giving you a lesser change of certain cancers. Suckling at the breast is very comforting for a baby.

And trust me, there is absolutely not guarantee that you’ll lose weight when you wean. Lots of women gain weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually wouldn’t quit in your circumstances, OP. Nursing is still providing a benefit to both you and your baby. And you do like it. It doesn’t have to be either/or. It’s still providing your baby with some immunity and certainly skin-to-skin bonding and it’s continuing to tighten your uterus and giving you a lesser change of certain cancers. Suckling at the breast is very comforting for a baby.

And trust me, there is absolutely not guarantee that you’ll lose weight when you wean. Lots of women gain weight.

+1. If your baby isn’t frustrated on the breast and you continue to enjoy nursing, I would keep going as you are.

[Anonymous]

Waving magic wand of guilt absolution now!

But seriously, it seems like there’s no harm in continuing to comfort nurse if you and the baby enjoy it but I would stop including nursing in your nutrition calculations/trying to encourage the baby to do it. Some of us just don’t produce enough milk which can suck if you want to nurse but formula is perfectly good for your child!

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely stop.

One thing I’ve realized (after 2 kids and 2 very different nursing experiences, plus seeing so many friends and family and their various struggles with nursing): the guilt is evolutionary. Before safe, high quality formula was available (pretty recent, in the grand scheme of things), stopping nursing your baby, for any reason, even for a day to rest, was incredibly dangerous for your baby. So evolution set us up with this emotional alarm that goes off, loudly, when you’re considering moving away from nursing. In 1879, this could have saved your baby’s life. Now? Ignore it, wean, and enjoy your baby.