I don’t honk my husband loves me.

[Anonymous]

And I am not sure he ever did. However he is a great guy, makes decent money and is fantastic with the kids. Also he does not want a divorce. He would stay together forever because he does not want to be the kind of guy that abandons his family and obligations.

This is new news to me and I am having trouble dealing with it. Do Injust pretend it’s all ok? Is that the mature thing? Do I end it?

[Anonymous]

ps of course that work it supposed to be “think” not honk

[Anonymous]

If he told you he doesn’t love you, he’s hoping YOU will end it. Then he gets what he wants (out of the marriage) and doesn’t have to be the kind of guy who breaks up a family. I’m sorry, that stinks. Make him accept responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Does it matter to you?

Love changes throughout the course of a relationship. I don't have an infatuation type live (never did). I have a deep respectful mutual understanding type love that is very stable. To me this is much more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter to you?

Love changes throughout the course of a relationship. I don't have an infatuation type live (never did). I have a deep respectful mutual understanding type love that is very stable. To me this is much more important.

My wife feels somewhat similar to me as you do. And I don't know what your sex life is like, but ours is awful and infrequent because there is simply no passion and there really hasn't been in years. We have a meaningful love as a partnership but I am ready to end it. So I feel for OP, where its a tough decision on whether to find a relationship that fulfils you vs staying in a stable but loveless relationship with an intact family.

[Anonymous]

I'd have a very hard time staying because of the sex. I need great sex in a relationship - wife here.

[Anonymous]

Your post isn't really helpful because it doesn't contain any information about the subject. For example, what did he say or do that makes you think he doesn't love you? How does he treat you? How is he as a spouse?

The dynamic could range from he despises you to he sees you as more of a friend and the answer is going to vary depending on the circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your post isn't really helpful because it doesn't contain any information about the subject. For example, what did he say or do that makes you think he doesn't love you? How does he treat you? How is he as a spouse?

The dynamic could range from he despises you to he sees you as more of a friend and the answer is going to vary depending on the circumstances.

+1. What makes you think he doesn't love you? What behaviors does he exhibit or not exhibit that leads you to this conclusion?

[Anonymous]

Eh, my wife isn’t in love with me and even told me so, now at least her words match her actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And I am not sure he ever did. However he is a great guy, makes decent money and is fantastic with the kids. Also he does not want a divorce. He would stay together forever because he does not want to be the kind of guy that abandons his family and obligations.

This is new news to me and I am having trouble dealing with it. Do Injust pretend it’s all ok? Is that the mature thing? Do I end it?

You haven't told us what "this" is. Did he say something? Did he say no when you asked for divorce??

[Anonymous]

Meh. I bet this is very common, particularly after years of marriage. Is it really worth blowing up your life and the life of your kids? You don’t need to pretend it’s OK— the lack of any specific complaints suggests things *are* OK. Just maybe not what you wanted and expected.

[Anonymous]

We were feeling similar to previous posters. He brought up open relationships at a therapy session and I pushed back naturally. The therapist made an off hand remark about “how would you feel if she wanted to sleep with someone else?!” Both were surprised by his reaction. Six months later and now I am a cuckqueen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were feeling similar to previous posters. He brought up open relationships at a therapy session and I pushed back naturally. The therapist made an off hand remark about “how would you feel if she wanted to sleep with someone else?!” Both were surprised by his reaction. Six months later and now I am a cuckqueen.

So that means your marriage is only open for you right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were feeling similar to previous posters. He brought up open relationships at a therapy session and I pushed back naturally. The therapist made an off hand remark about “how would you feel if she wanted to sleep with someone else?!” Both were surprised by his reaction. Six months later and now I am a cuckqueen.

So that means your marriage is only open for you right?

I guess I wasn’t clear, my apologies. So, he suggested open relationships as a means of excitement. He believed that I was completely against that or that I would be hurt by the thought of him lusting after someone else. Although it does hurt to imagine your significant other desiring someone else, I could fathom that it’s not love, it’s a moment of selfish pleasure - lust.

He responded to the therapist's question about me with another man, “I’d like to see it.” Our situation hasn’t evolved to seeking arrangements outside of each others company and I don’t think I could accept that. I don’t think he would be able to get another woman on his own and he hasn’t even requested it though. I am open to having a female join us for a threesome if it felt right and we were on vacation or something. He certainly experiences lust but for now he only needs to see me get down with another to get his socks off.
I am 35, he is 38.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were feeling similar to previous posters. He brought up open relationships at a therapy session and I pushed back naturally. The therapist made an off hand remark about “how would you feel if she wanted to sleep with someone else?!” Both were surprised by his reaction. Six months later and now I am a cuckqueen.

So that means your marriage is only open for you right?

I guess I wasn’t clear, my apologies. So, he suggested open relationships as a means of excitement. He believed that I was completely against that or that I would be hurt by the thought of him lusting after someone else. Although it does hurt to imagine your significant other desiring someone else, I could fathom that it’s not love, it’s a moment of selfish pleasure - lust.

He responded to the therapist's question about me with another man, “I’d like to see it.” Our situation hasn’t evolved to seeking arrangements outside of each others company and I don’t think I could accept that. I don’t think he would be able to get another woman on his own and he hasn’t even requested it though. I am open to having a female join us for a threesome if it felt right and we were on vacation or something. He certainly experiences lust but for now he only needs to see me get down with another to get his socks off.
I am 35, he is 38.

So it’s like a sexy player you’re putting on for each other, sounds awesome!