Online dating

[Anonymous]

I am the older parent of a new college grad, who is living home while they look for a job.

MyDD has virtually no experience dating, so is pretty naïve. She has recently turned to online dating. I am trying to be encouraging and respectful of her independence. It is hard not to worry though, given the horror stories one reads about.

Any suggestions of how to be supportive yet calm?

[Anonymous]

The best thing would be to inform her about the risks of online dating and discuss safety strategies (i.e. making sure a friend knows where she is when she is on a date). It's important that you still support her every step of the way; however, the number one most important thing is her safety, so make sure to protect that.

[Anonymous]

I'm 36.
Dh and I have the strongest relationship out of everyone I know. We met online when I was 24. I'd say at least half of friends have met their significant others online..

Just remember, the bad stories are what make the news and what people gossip about. Sure, I went on some crap first dates from guys I met online before I met Dh, but I went on crap first dates that weren't from guys I met online.

Have her read up on safety with meeting guys online. (or really in general). Do something casual for a first date (like coffee) so you can bail if it's not going well. Don't have the guy pick you up. Make sure a friend knows where you're going and with who. Do. Separate transportation. Although honestly, these rules apply to dating in general.

[Anonymous]

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

If she's naive, online dating is even more dangerous. She won't know if she's being played.

[Anonymous]

When is it safe to go in a car with them??

[Anonymous]

I know this isn’t full proof, but the more online presence the better in my opinion . If LinkedIn and Instagram seem normal and match up - you can tell they def work someplace and went to school where they say they did - that helps meeting up in a crowded space seem less scary. I would not want my kids going out with a stranger that could not be stalked at least a little. No online presence would be a red flag to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
MyDD has virtually no experience dating, so is pretty naïve.

1) Make first dates convenient and casual.

2) The main danger is from serial predators who get women drunk and alone, and then don't take rejection. The simple solution is to avoid being alone with a stranger on the first one or two dates, especially without know his last name and internet presence.

3) Sleeping with a guy does not make him your boyfriend. Don't sleep with a guy until at least the end of the third date (see rule #2). However, it is a two-way audition. She needs to be pretty, punctual, polite, and available to a prince. If she is difficult and sloppy on a date, then there will not be another. If she likes him, then she should text the guy afterwards that she had a nice time. Men are clueless, and need encouragement.