Problems with my daughter and her MIL

[Anonymous]

Recently my daughter her husband and their three kids moved into my basement to save money and to get their bills under control. Because of this business that I ran out of my basement I put on a hiatus for a year. In the past we have all had problems with my son-in-law‘s mother. She has three other children that are over the age of 18 and live with her and don’t work didn’t graduate high school and she is pretty toxic and dishonest and starts a lot of drama in the family. When my daughter moved in she knew about how I felt about her mother-in-law and her she was actually not really speaking to her at the time which I knew they would work it out and I want them to for the sake of just peace. There’s been issues with my daughter and her husband cleaning up after themselves and pretty much living however they want in my basement and I’ve pretty much wrote it off I have snapped a couple of times because I hate a mess and I just had my leg amputated two years ago so everything is harder. The other night they had her mother-in-law stay the night and I told them I took my daughter upstairs by herself and said I don’t want her staying the night anymore and if she loses her housing her and her sons will not be living here because she was talking about quitting her job earlier in the day.

My daughter seems to think that I’m out of line and says that this is pushing her away because I won’t open my house to her mother-in-law who is pretty much a scam artist and incidentally she hasn’t seen the grandkids in months before very much before she moved in so she wasn’t like she was staying because she misses her grandkids so much she didn’t see them regularly before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Recently my daughter her husband and their three kids moved into my basement to save money and to get their bills under control. Because of this business that I ran out of my basement I put on a hiatus for a year. In the past we have all had problems with my son-in-law‘s mother. She has three other children that are over the age of 18 and live with her and don’t work didn’t graduate high school and she is pretty toxic and dishonest and starts a lot of drama in the family. When my daughter moved in she knew about how I felt about her mother-in-law and her she was actually not really speaking to her at the time which I knew they would work it out and I want them to for the sake of just peace. There’s been issues with my daughter and her husband cleaning up after themselves and pretty much living however they want in my basement and I’ve pretty much wrote it off I have snapped a couple of times because I hate a mess and I just had my leg amputated two years ago so everything is harder. The other night they had her mother-in-law stay the night and I told them I took my daughter upstairs by herself and said I don’t want her staying the night anymore and if she loses her housing her and her sons will not be living here because she was talking about quitting her job earlier in the day.

My daughter seems to think that I’m out of line and says that this is pushing her away because I won’t open my house to her mother-in-law who is pretty much a scam artist and incidentally she hasn’t seen the grandkids in months before very much before she moved in so she wasn’t like she was staying because she misses her grandkids so much she didn’t see them regularly before.

[Anonymous]

1. You sound like a troll.
2. Learn to write. Text is not speech.
3. Your house, your rules.

[Anonymous]

I guess when Jerry Springer went off the air, his guests didn't just disappear. Don't let her in your house. Charge your daughter/SIL rent. Take care of your health. Don't judge your daughter's MIL for having adult kids live with her while your adult kid lives with you.

[Anonymous]

Well…. This certainly isn’t the typical dcum post. I wonder if this was originally posted on another site and copied

[Anonymous]

Basically your entire family are users. And then there's you who allows yourself to be used.

[Anonymous]

So...

Your daughter wants you to allow her MIL (plus some other adults??) to move into your house?

Or, she objects to the fact that you won't let her MIL stay the night when she's visiting?

[Anonymous]

No one is moving in. Period. No guests for more than 3 nights. Draw a rental agreement for a small amount to not inconvenience them yet have legal leverage to end this set up if its not working out.

[Anonymous]

Do you all live in WV or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is moving in. Period. No guests for more than 3 nights. Draw a rental agreement for a small amount to not inconvenience them yet have legal leverage to end this set up if its not working out.

This. Let the mess in the basement go, write up a lease and put in a clause about them cleaning up when they leave or paying for a professional cleaning or something. No one else is moving in without your consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you all live in WV or something?

...from people always prattling about empathy and privilege

[Anonymous]

OP, give them an eviction notice. You are not responsible for other adults and their families. Learn to draw hard lines. Nobody respects you or your home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well…. This certainly isn’t the typical dcum post. I wonder if this was originally posted on another site and copied

+1 This is definitely just copied from another site. Don't feed this troll.

[Anonymous]

In another era, you'd go on a national tv show and be given a new washing machine for sharing your sob story.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP that you have this situation. Sounds rough. Is it possible that, despite the kids moving in with you, not much has changed for them financially? I have an inkling they need more than your basement to get out from under their financial situation, and them living free at Moms is prolonging their inevitable reality. I'd work to get them out of your house, and they probably need higher paying work.