how to help adult son with drug addiction
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I am so worried about my son who is addicted to drugs and don't know how to help him. He is a grown-up and lives in a different state from us. During the pandemic he spent weeks at a time working from home staying with us or his girlfriend who lives in another state, and this helped. he seems to do ok when he's with us but now he's been told to be back in the office. Through some miracle he graduated from a good college and has a well-paid job where he says he's doing well. He says he wants to quit but can't. he doesn't want to go to rehab because he's worried about losing his job. But sooner or later they will be fed up with him "not feeling well" and unable to come to the office. he's also depressed and seeing a therapist which doesn't seem to help much. How can I help him? I'm really worried about how this is affecting his health. And what is the long term outlook? It's just so so horrible. |
Anonymous
|
OP what kind of drugs are we talking about?
In terms of rehab, is this something his insurance will help cover or is it self pay? |
Anonymous
| I’m so sorry OP. You are going to have to accept that this is not something you can control. You and his other loved ones would benefit greatly from meeting with others in your shoes. I think Al-anon offers programs for parents of children with drug addictions. That will open a space where you are better able to manage your own trauma, so you can better help him too. Hugs and positive energy from me to you. |
Anonymous
| PS I also suggest reading “Beautiful Boy,” to give you hope. |
Anonymous
|
Which drugs?
If he is motivated and can pay, there are places than can do accelerated detox. If it's opiates or alcohol, the person is put on Vivitrol injections afterwards. There is accelerated detox for benzos and other drugs, but not sure if there is an effective medication to be put on afterwards. Post-detox, the person should be doing something like lots of NA meetings. For you, Nar-Anon. |
Anonymous
| Find a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction. Take an outpatient route. Start with a detox. |
Anonymous
No. Don’t read this. Awful story and not a good outcome. At all. |
Anonymous
| Go to Al-Anon. That is how you can help. |
Anonymous
| Wouldn’t a medical stay be covered by FMLA? He should get help now. If he waits it doesn’t end well. Best of luck OP ❤️. It’s better he seek help now while he has a job and health coverage. Waiting till rock bottom is bad bad bad. |
Anonymous
| Hi, OP here. Thank you for your kind words. It's meth. So horrible. He has his own insurance and I don't know if it would cover rehab but he's refusing to go anyway. He should have enough savings if not covered. I'll try to convince him to try the outpatient route. His health is more important than the job. |
Anonymous
|
OP, very sorry to hear it is meth. This has been a very tough addiction to treat because of the lack of effective medications.
However, a paper published last year showed promising results for meth addicts treated with two drugs, injectable naltrexone (Vivitrol) and Wellbutrin. Neither of these drugs is itself addictive. I would search for a program or an addiction doctor using a medication assisted approach to increase the chances of success. If it is a doctor, your DS would be well advised to also be in some sort of program, whether it is outpatient rehab or very intensive attendance at NA meetings. I have helped a family member with addiction (not meth) and am sorry to say most rehabs are very disappointing, to put it as charitably as I can. They are really no accountability standards, and those are fended off by the defense that relapse is part of recovery. A bit of truth to that, but it also used way too often for abysmal success rates. That said, the one rehab I have heard only good things about is Father Martin's Ashley in Maryland (now known simply as Ashley), and they may offer a medication approach to Meth. My family member left two rehabs after one week but ultimately had excellent success by religiously and intensively attending NA meetings. Paper: https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2020214 |
Anonymous
|
For what it’s worth, our kid did well here:
https://mountainside.com/treatment/?amp After leaving another residential facility. He is now in an ongoing sober living community. We have good insurance-/it covered almost all of residential rehab, but covers almost none of the sober living community. But it has been helping. (Our kid wasn’t addicted to meth, but only bc he hadn’t tried it yet.) But it really didn’t matter until he decided he was ready. I’m so sorry. It is so hard. |
Anonymous
There has been some success treating a meth addiction with Vivitrol (which is used for opioid addictions) and buproprion (an antidepressant and smoking cessation drug). The buproprion might help with the depression, too. I would try to find a medical doctor who specializes in addiction. There's hope. And the drugs give that helpful assistance to quit. |
Anonymous
|
Therapy alone isn’t going to treat or cure addiction or depression. Your son needs to see a psychiatrist specializing in addiction and mood disorders. Try to maintain open lines to your son. Separate your love from him and his addiction. He is self-medicating depression with meth. He needs to switch to Rx meds to treat his underlying illness. The therapist should help him look for outpatient treatment. Let him try that. Listen to what he is saying about not wanting to go inpatient. Focus on what he says about why. Don’t argue, listen. Support him by helping him find doctors on his health insurance plan.
I recommend Xavier Amador “I’m not sick I don’t need help” for how to talk to someone with mental illness and help support them to be open to medication and treatment |
Anonymous
Please know. There’s nothing hopeful about this movie or story. I would recommend reading beyond addiction. |