13 year old support/peer groups?

[Anonymous]

Hello,

My 13 year old has just come out as a lesbian and I'd love to find her an LGBTQIA peer group that regularly meets. Because she's 13, she seems somewhat in between groups at Smyal. I know nothing about any of this so any guidance would be awesome! We in Potomac but could drive to DC or really wherever. Thanks so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello,

My 13 year old has just come out as a lesbian and I'd love to find her an LGBTQIA peer group that regularly meets. Because she's 13, she seems somewhat in between groups at Smyal. I know nothing about any of this so any guidance would be awesome! We in Potomac but could drive to DC or really wherever. Thanks so much.

My 13-year-old hasn't even hit puberty. How does one know at 13? Mainly just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,

My 13 year old has just come out as a lesbian and I'd love to find her an LGBTQIA peer group that regularly meets. Because she's 13, she seems somewhat in between groups at Smyal. I know nothing about any of this so any guidance would be awesome! We in Potomac but could drive to DC or really wherever. Thanks so much.

My 13-year-old hasn't even hit puberty. How does one know at 13? Mainly just curious.

Most kids have hit puberty by 13. You have a late bloomer and are not contributing to the discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,

My 13 year old has just come out as a lesbian and I'd love to find her an LGBTQIA peer group that regularly meets. Because she's 13, she seems somewhat in between groups at Smyal. I know nothing about any of this so any guidance would be awesome! We in Potomac but could drive to DC or really wherever. Thanks so much.

My 13-year-old hasn't even hit puberty. How does one know at 13? Mainly just curious.

Totally reasonable for a 13 YO to know. Having said that, it is trendy to be lgbtq. Is she starting high school in the fall? Probably a pride club there for support. However, at my daughter's school there were lots of allies at pride club too, because it was fun, and free pizza. And check out pflag. If you are in Potomac, MoCo even had a "Pride prom!"

[Anonymous]

My 11 year old DD has been out to us since 9 and is out at school and to her friends. She has many friends and a supportive peer group and family. It has not occurred to me to seek out a support group. OP are you in the DC area? Methinks unless you live somewhere rural, your kid will not have trouble connecting with other LGBT kids and won’t need your help unless she is very introverted and needs social support anyway.

[Anonymous]

Identifying as LGB isn't about sex. It is about the butterflies you get when you are around someone, the warm connection you feel with them, etc. My kid could identify those feelings when he was in 5th grade - well before he hit puberty - when I asked him what it meant when he said he had a crush on a kid in his class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Identifying as LGB isn't about sex. It is about the butterflies you get when you are around someone, the warm connection you feel with them, etc. My kid could identify those feelings when he was in 5th grade - well before he hit puberty - when I asked him what it meant when he said he had a crush on a kid in his class.

How can you say this isn't about sex? LGB is about sex, sexual orientation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Identifying as LGB isn't about sex. It is about the butterflies you get when you are around someone, the warm connection you feel with them, etc. My kid could identify those feelings when he was in 5th grade - well before he hit puberty - when I asked him what it meant when he said he had a crush on a kid in his class.

How can you say this isn't about sex? LGB is about sex, sexual orientation.

I think this was in response to the puberty question. Lots and lots of kids have major crushes before puberty and desire develop. That's how you kind of know where you land.

[Anonymous]

Get her off social media and put her in counseling. Send her away to summer camp. Monitor her friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Identifying as LGB isn't about sex. It is about the butterflies you get when you are around someone, the warm connection you feel with them, etc. My kid could identify those feelings when he was in 5th grade - well before he hit puberty - when I asked him what it meant when he said he had a crush on a kid in his class.

It’s called sexual orientation for a reason, please stop kidding yourself. Also what you described could be a 10 year old just being infatuated with another boy for whatever reason, kids that age like same sex people not in a sexual way. They can’t understand the sexual part until much older. It’s really best not to label anything. Just let them be themselves without labels. Labels help no one.

[Anonymous]

It’s probably just a phase. I agree with pp get her off social media. If it’s not a phase great but she needs to figure it out herself without the influence of the internet. That can only confuse her. She will learn about her sexual orientation as she wants to have sex. I would not be encouraging this at 13. Say ok great and go about your day. No judgment but also no encouragement until she’s old enough to make sexual decisions.

[Anonymous]

Oh come on- it may be a trend but gay 13 year olds exist whether people like it or not! I certainly knew I had crushes on boys by 9. Most 13 year old girls are pretty far into puberty. Having a LGBTQ peer group is not going to make someone gay if they’re not…

Sorry OP my gay 14 year daughter has a friend group that has some lgbtq members and some not but that is through her middle school, I wouldn’t know where to suggest. I think High School may have a GSA that she could join?

[Anonymous]

I knew I was gay by age 13 and it sure wasn't trendy then. Lots of kids have crushes by that age. There are 13 year olds dating. Heck there are 13 year olds who are pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get her off social media and put her in counseling. Send her away to summer camp. Monitor her friends.

Go away. You seem to lack awareness of these issues. OP’s child is not in danger. Worst case, she kisses a girl and finds out it is isn’t for her.

[Anonymous]

These replies from cishet people are so weird. If the OP was posting on a different board about her 13 year old having a straight crush on a boy they'd be fawning all over it. Straight people shouldn't be giving advise about LGBTQ people.

Many threads on this board become somewhat toxic because of this. Like straight people think they just have some god given right to tell queer people they're not queer.