I don’t like the way I look when I smile
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Anonymous
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Someone snapped a family pic this morning at an event for one of the kids and I was feeling happy and proud, and the picture is … awful. I look terrible. Ugly. I’m not ugly. Except when I smile. I never liked the way I look when I smile but I’m 45 and it has gotten so much worse. I’m getting veneers this summer, which will make my teeth look better, but there are so many problems! My lips sort of spread out flat/the shape of my mouth is weird, my eyes close so much they’re the same size or smaller than the dark circles under them, my nose (which is getting bigger!?!) becomes more prominent, I can’t figure out what is going on with my chin - it’s not a double chin, if anything my face is too thin, but it’s like a chin wrinkle? Wtf? It’s like halfway up my face on both sides - it basically connects my chin to my dimples on a weird groove. Where did that come from? My head is small and my face is small and it’s just getting wrinkled up and swallowed by my features.
It’s so disorienting and upsetting because I like the way I look when I’m not smiling and happy. My complexion is lovely, I have very few “resting” wrinkles, my lips are just the right amount of full, my chin and nose aren’t trying to eat my whole face. I’m not inclined to have work done but even if I was I’m not sure anything would help because it’s just this one expression that is so awful. It’s just so unfortunate that one awful expression is joy. Do I just train myself to smile differently? How, without looking fake? Literally the only thing going for me when I smile is that it is authentic. Ugh. |
Anonymous
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It's ok, don't be so harsh on yourself, OP! Even models don't smile for this very reason and the ones that do are well trained or have trained themselves and know what works.
Maybe try a softer smile next time and smile more with your eyes. It doesn't matter if it's not natural, it will feel like natural later on, the more you do it. |
Anonymous
| I only look good with a certain smile that defines my cheekbones. My neutral face makes me look slightly frowny, a big happy smile makes my face look like a fat balloon. I need to practice that cheekbone smile! It's a kind of half-smile and doesn't use the same muscles... |
Anonymous
NP - I, too, have the fat balloon smiling face! It's so upsetting to me when I see pictures of myself smiling with joy. My chubby cheeks turn my face into a big fat balloon and my eyes are swallowed up. Hideous. As I get older, any weight gain becomes very apparent in my face, even though I'm not overweight. I guess I'm just going to have to stop grinning in pictures. 
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Anonymous
| When I smile it makes my nose tip plunge downward and my top lip basically disappears. It’s annoying. |
Anonymous
I have a terrible (!) smile face. My face looks round and fat and gummy. I know people use endless platitudes on this subforum about “wear what you like!” and “who cares?” but in this case I’m going to say, honestly: smiling is a gift to humanity in 2022, even ugly ones. We spent two years not seeing strangers smile. I smile at everyone, all the time, because it is free and it changes the room/store/park instantly when even one person is happy. |
Anonymous
| Yep I'm the same. I look best in pictures with a neutral face or a fake smile. My real smile makes my eyes disappear and my chin look masculine. When my mother takes a family picture she will interrupt the whole photo to call me out for not doing a natural smile. Then she will see a candid of me and express surprise that I actually look nice. |
Anonymous
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I'll pass on one tip I picked up for pictures--not sure how effective it is for people but you can try.
Roll your tongue upward against upper palate. Your mouth will open somewhat and there will be a very small smile. Try it in a mirror and see what you think. |
Anonymous
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Same. I have also picked apart my smile in photos that way. I'm nearing mid-40s as well and I do feel like my smile looks worse than it used to.
The veneers will help more than you think, OP. I don't even have veneers but just whitening my teeth makes my smile look better. I agree with PPs that trying not to smile so broadly can help. It's hard though. If you smile too little it can look awkward. Often I do a closed mouth smile because I'm self-conscious about my teeth, and sometimes that looks okay and sometimes it's looks creepy. Sigh. One thing I'm resolved to do this year is have professional photos taken finally. We don't always do it, but I feel like it's the only way to get good photos of me. We get lots of DD and DH, yes, because I take lots of photos and make sure to grab candids where they are looking relaxed and happy and actually sort through them later to pick the best photos. My DH always forgets to take photos and then will decide to take them on a day when I haven't showered and am wearing sweats, and then on top of it I don't love my smile, and then he'll say "well what's the point in taking photos when you always hate them?" So I'm going to get a pro to take some family photos. Photographers are so good at this. They will edit out all the photos with your weird smile and they'll make sure the angles and lighting work in your favor. It's seriously worth the money just to have one photo per year where I like how I look. |
Anonymous
| I hear you, OP. I have nerve damage from a childhood injury and my smile turns my face into something awful. There are a lot of pictures of me missing me kids heads or turning to look at them so it’s a bit of a profile. I hate it, but I’m resigned and have learned that the photo does t reflect the day to day. |
Anonymous
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Your kids will look at that photo someday and just see the mom they love with a happy smile on her face.
But I hear you. I practiced a “better” smile in the mirror for ages; never translated to looking better in actual photos. Maybe you’ll have better luck 
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Anonymous
| Just to levelset, I have almost never seen someone and said wow they look so ugly when they smile. I think you are being too hard on yourself |
Anonymous
| Since you’re getting veneers that means you are open to getting work done. Look for an injector that specializes in “facial balancing”. The really good ones have a long wait and they refuse to do only one area (ie lips only, under eyes only, chin only, etc). They will do as minimal injections as possible in the sweet spots they feel will work best for your face and the results are remarkable. Good luck, beautiful. |
Anonymous
| Try smiling with your mouth closed. See if that looks better. |
Anonymous
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I hate my smiling 😊 face as well.
Which is why I rarely smile in pictures. People are ALWAYS bugging me about not smiling in photos so if I attempt - I go for a loose, natural type smile. (If this makes sense!) |