Keeping on a Poker Face with HR

[Anonymous]

I’ve been a loyal employee for 10 years. The final straw broke. I can’t do any more with less. I’m done working crazy hours and stretching every cent while private jets get purchased. I am interviewing seriously now.

My employer is making everyone go through a “stay interview” because many have jumped ship in the past few months. I need to keep my poker face on during mine.

How would you respond to a “stay” interview? Do I smile and say “it’s great” or give any reason for concern? Is neutral too obvious?

Trying to hold it together and get a paycheck while I look.

[Anonymous]

Consider it practice for your exit interview. Say as little as possible.

[Anonymous]

Reschedule it a few times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider it practice for your exit interview. Say as little as possible.

+1. Keep the focus on your achievements and responsibilities. Deflect questions about how you feel about the company. If you MUST talk about the company, keep it neutral:
I have a great team.
The mission of the company is so meaningful to me.
I'm glad that my accomplishments have contributed to the success of the company.

I also would have no problem telling a white lie to the company about what you see as your future with the company. Never, ever admit your job hunting. When the time comes, I suggest acting as if the opportunity fell from the sky.

[Anonymous]

I think you could say something to the effect that you are concerned about the people leaving. Apparently they are also concerned, and hopefully one goal of this is that *someone* asked HR to do this so that they can help get the message to the higher-ups that they need to put more money into staffing and less into the private jets or whatever.

[Anonymous]

I agree with others that you obviously shouldn’t say that you are looking.

BUT I think you should take the opportunity, if asked, to suggest one or two actionable things that could make the work environment better. Importantly, I don’t mean complain or say anything negative. Rather say some things that could help in a forward looking way.

The fact that they are conducting the interviews means that somebody sees a problem and wants to try to fix it. You can help them without sabotaging yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider it practice for your exit interview. Say as little as possible.

+1. Keep the focus on your achievements and responsibilities. Deflect questions about how you feel about the company. If you MUST talk about the company, keep it neutral:
I have a great team.
The mission of the company is so meaningful to me.
I'm glad that my accomplishments have contributed to the success of the company.

I also would have no problem telling a white lie to the company about what you see as your future with the company. Never, ever admit your job hunting. When the time comes, I suggest acting as if the opportunity fell from the sky.

Don’t people see through this BS?

[Anonymous]

There is no benefit in being honest with HR. They are paid to look out for the company, not you. Unless you are facing illegal behavior there is nothing that HR will do for you.

[Anonymous]

Screw it. Why not use the opportunity to ask for the moon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider it practice for your exit interview. Say as little as possible.

+1. Keep the focus on your achievements and responsibilities. Deflect questions about how you feel about the company. If you MUST talk about the company, keep it neutral:
I have a great team.
The mission of the company is so meaningful to me.
I'm glad that my accomplishments have contributed to the success of the company.

I also would have no problem telling a white lie to the company about what you see as your future with the company. Never, ever admit your job hunting. When the time comes, I suggest acting as if the opportunity fell from the sky.

Don’t people see through this BS?

Sure, but what's the alternative? There is pretty much always zero zero zero upside to being honest with HR under almost any circumstances but especially in the situation described.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider it practice for your exit interview. Say as little as possible.

+1. Keep the focus on your achievements and responsibilities. Deflect questions about how you feel about the company. If you MUST talk about the company, keep it neutral:
I have a great team.
The mission of the company is so meaningful to me.
I'm glad that my accomplishments have contributed to the success of the company.

I also would have no problem telling a white lie to the company about what you see as your future with the company. Never, ever admit your job hunting. When the time comes, I suggest acting as if the opportunity fell from the sky.

Don’t people see through this BS?

Sure, but what's the alternative? There is pretty much always zero zero zero upside to being honest with HR under almost any circumstances but especially in the situation described.

And it's not like management doesn't do this sort of thing too, especially when asked about things like layoffs that everyone knows are coming but no one wants to admit to. Or the real purpose of "stay interviews," for another one.

So think of the "stay interview" as the worker bee's chance to engage in the kind of happy bald-faced smoke-blowing that upper management does as a matter of course.

[Anonymous]

Or, if you don't care that much about your job, go full Office Space.

"Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I’m working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I’d say in a given week I probably only do about 15 minutes of real, actual, work."

They'll either fire you or promote you.

[Anonymous]

Just smile through it and say how great everything is. If you really want to fake it, look for a problem the employer already solved, mention that was your only complaint, then swoon at how fabulous they are for having fixed it. Become the smiling face emoji ☺️☺️☺️☺️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just smile through it and say how great everything is. If you really want to fake it, look for a problem the employer already solved, mention that was your only complaint, then swoon at how fabulous they are for having fixed it. Become the smiling face emoji ☺️☺️☺️☺️

...and then politely give notice and get out of there

[Anonymous]

Eh, if you're already looking, I don't see anything wrong with being kind but honest. They can't fix a problem if everyone lies and tells them it's great and then quits three weeks later. They're trying to get to the root of the problem, so be honest and help them find it. I've never gone wrong by doing that.