if your 3 year old loved their crib...

[Anonymous]

did you wait for them to decide to move our or decide to force it?

ds1 was excited for his "big boy bed" and the move was a non issue (his crib stayed in his room for a few nights as a threat to stay in his new bed). ds2 seemed excited by his big bed, picked out bedding, happily got in it the first night and then the next day declared it scary and refused to get back in. that was about 6mo ago and he's now 3.25. He still has no interest in moving out of his crib and stopped climbing out when i said if he did it again he'd move to his bed.

he's always been a bad sleeper so on one hand i'm totally happy to leave him in his crib for as long as he likes if it helps him sleep better. on the other, with now having a ds3, its making travel a huge pain to figure out 2 crib-like sleeping options for every trip.

just curious if other people forced the change or waited it out for a crib loving kid. and if you forced it how did it go (if i force it i will give the crib away that day so there's no going back)

[Anonymous]

We forced it. Because she was toilet training and needed to be able to get out of bed (crib) to go to the bathroom without needing us.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t force it. Do you have both beds set up in his room? Try doing story time or other enjoyable things with him in the new bed. He’ll get there eventually.

[Anonymous]

We were going to force it and then one night DD got really scared in her crib and now refuses to sleep there even now that we have converted it to a toddler bed so she sleeps on a mattress on the floor. I wish we had been a bit more proactive as she falls off the mattress all the time and the toddler bed has three sides and a guardrail.

[Anonymous]

Just take out the crib, you’re only making it worse by leaving it. You going to let him go to kindergarten sleeping in a crib?

[Anonymous]

Can you take the side off the crib? That can help. They still feel nestled in, but it's the crib.

I'd also suggest bed rails and pushing the bed into a corner. He may just like the cocoon feeling. A bed tent could also help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just take out the crib, you’re only making it worse by leaving it. You going to let him go to kindergarten sleeping in a crib?

He's 3. Relax.

[Anonymous]

Assuming your kid is somewhat verbal, can you agree to sleep in crib at home but make a different arrangement for travel? At that age, when we traveled, we'd put the kids on a big blanket on the floor, and put pillows around. You can get a sleeping mat or something similar.

Otherwise, my only concern is that he'd try climbing out and fall. But unless your crib is super high, that's probably not super dangerous anyway.

[Anonymous]

My eldest was in his crib until over age 4 and wouldn’t even hear of moving. We didn’t force it. A little after age 4 we asked if he wanted to come with us to look at big boy beds and he said yes. We went to the store, let him pick out his own sheets, ordered the mattress and bed online together, and the transition could not have been easier - he has slept in his new bed the day it was delivered.

[Anonymous]

I forced the issue but I wouldn't say DD loved her crib. She didn't dislike it but she was also excited to sleep in her big kid bed. When she moved to her big kid bed, she had some sad feelings about not being the crib anymore. We removed the crib more quickly than you because we needed the space, and she was sad about it. Change is hard for kids this age and they don't have that many spaces that are "theirs". The crib is one. We validated her feelings and explained that the crib was for a smaller child, but that it went to another family with a baby who could use it. She was sad for a while but eventually moved on.

One thing I definitely would NOT do is try to use either the crib or big kid bed as a threat for staying in bed. Like I would not tell him "if you get out of bed at night you have to go back to your crib" or "if you climb out of your crib then we will take it away and you have to sleep in the big kid bed." I would not make either bed a punishment. That will make the situation much worse.

Sometimes kids have big feelings or are sad or disappointed. It's fine, those are normal feelings. Your job as a parent is to help them figure out how to deal with those feelings. This might mean listening to your kid talk about how sad they are about moving out of their crib. I think the instinct of many adults in that situation is to internally roll their eyes at this (it's just a bed, who cares). That's when it's time to practice empathy and recognize for your kid, it IS a big deal and that it's okay they feel this way.

But also as a parent you have to make decisions beyond the scope of what your kid might understand at the moment. We moved our kid for practical and safety reasons. Once a child can crawl out of their crib, I just don't feel it is the right place for them, even if they generally don't do it. We could have delayed it a year or so, I think, but then I think we would have spent most of that year stressing about whether or not she was crawling out of her bed. So even though she was very sad about it, I have zero regrets about moving her when we did. It's okay for kids to go through difficult things, you just have to help them.

[Anonymous]

We took the side off when our girls started potty training so they could go to the bathroom on their own. We switched to a twin bed when they asked.