Going to the church for the first time

[Anonymous]

I’ve been wanting to go to the church for a while, however I honestly don’t know where to start. I still don’t feel I’m completely “there” when it comes to religion and I still cannot talk about it like a believer, but when I am in my own thoughts I do believe in God.

[Anonymous]

I am not a church goer but I have been to enough churches to know you just walk in. They are set up to greet you and get you more involved in the church. That’s the point of the church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not a church goer but I have been to enough churches to know you just walk in. They are set up to greet you and get you more involved in the church. That’s the point of the church.

+1 -- also unless you go to a fundamentalist or Catholic church, there is no presumption or requirement that you believe in God. In the liberal Christian churches (Episcopal, UCC, Methodist, Presbyterian) there are openly agnostic parishioners.

[Anonymous]

Yes, just come on in! People will be thrilled you're there but won't put you on the spot.

If you let us know where you are geographically, we can recommend some low-stress nearby options.

[Anonymous]

PP here again. My experience going to mainline Protestant churches, and for that matter Catholic churches, is you go, you are greeted, there is music and reading from scripture and preaching (not too long), hymns to sing along with if you choose, a chance to shake the pastor or priest's hand on the way out, and usually some sort of chance to socialize (coffee hour or similar) afterwards. There will be a printed bulletin that contains everything you need to know to follow along with the service.

People might ask your name and if you're new here, but no one EVER asks what you believe or why you're there, except maybe in the most well-intentioned, "What brings you here today?" way, to which you can answer, "I've been curious about church."

But really, the experience is about listening and learning and taking in the ritual and vibe of that particular church. Churches with more ritual (Episcopalians, for example) know that not everybody is familiar with the ups and downs and ins and outs. There are always people, longtime attendees included, who don't sing along or recite the responses and prayers or do any of the things, and others who do ALL the things, some of which still confuse me after a lifetime in the church. No judgment. You can just observe and contemplate and join in to the extent you feel comfortable.

[Anonymous]

OP are you asking for church suggestions? If so let us know where you are and I’m sure people can make suggestions and also what to expect.

[Anonymous]

I took a long church break in my 20s. When I felt like I wanted to return, I went online and searched for the mainline protestant churches near me, browsed a few websites, and made a list of ones to try. Then every Sunday, I tried something new until I found something that stuck.

You can either attend and quietly observe the service (if that makes you more comfortable), or you can also attend the coffee/fellowship afterwards and talk to people.

You might be asked what you're looking for in a church, so you might want to have a few things to bring up: internal and external service opportunities, opportunities to participate in the music programs, children's programs, special interest groups (womens, mens, singles, parents, AA, etc), fellowship (someplace to make friends), bible study, prayer groups--name some things you're interested in, and that will get people talking.

Tell people you're church shopping, and they will tell you all about what their church brings to the table, but won't pressure you to join. The vast majority of us have church shopped for one reason or another.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Another thought, OP, is that if you have a few churches in mind to visit, you can look up their YouTube pages and sample their streamed services. You'll get a sense of what to expect in terms of style, shape of the service, etc. I'm one of those people who's a lot happier if I know what to expect in advance, so I LOVE being able to check things out online.

[Anonymous]

Do you have any friends or nearby family who are churchgoers? I would start with going to a service with someone you like. That way:

a). You know at least one person there
b). You know that not every parishioner is horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any friends or nearby family who are churchgoers? I would start with going to a service with someone you like. That way:

a). You know at least one person there
b). You know that not every parishioner is horrible.

Your mileage and preference may vary on this. For me, I prefer to go into a new scene with some anonymity and not feel like anybody else is responsible for whether I like it there, so I avoid going with a friend. But that's me. Do this if it suits you, but don't hesitate to go alone if that suits you better.

(The vast majority of parishioners are not horrible. At least before you serve on a committee with them.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a church goer but I have been to enough churches to know you just walk in. They are set up to greet you and get you more involved in the church. That’s the point of the church.

+1 -- also unless you go to a fundamentalist or Catholic church, there is no presumption or requirement that you believe in God. In the liberal Christian churches (Episcopal, UCC, Methodist, Presbyterian) there are openly agnostic parishioners.

As someone who knows both fundies and catholics, either would be happy to have an agnostic start going to church. They're confident in their services.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a church goer but I have been to enough churches to know you just walk in. They are set up to greet you and get you more involved in the church. That’s the point of the church.

+1 -- also unless you go to a fundamentalist or Catholic church, there is no presumption or requirement that you believe in God. In the liberal Christian churches (Episcopal, UCC, Methodist, Presbyterian) there are openly agnostic parishioners.

As someone who knows both fundies and catholics, either would be happy to have an agnostic start going to church. They're confident in their services.

OH, they would be happy to see OP walk through their church door, but OP might not be so happy to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a church goer but I have been to enough churches to know you just walk in. They are set up to greet you and get you more involved in the church. That’s the point of the church.

+1 -- also unless you go to a fundamentalist or Catholic church, there is no presumption or requirement that you believe in God. In the liberal Christian churches (Episcopal, UCC, Methodist, Presbyterian) there are openly agnostic parishioners.

As someone who knows both fundies and catholics, either would be happy to have an agnostic start going to church. They're confident in their services.

OH, they would be happy to see OP walk through their church door, but OP might not be so happy to be there.

Something like 40% of the US population identifies as either Catholic or evangelical Christian. You can’t possibly comment on how 100 million different people feel about anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a church goer but I have been to enough churches to know you just walk in. They are set up to greet you and get you more involved in the church. That’s the point of the church.

+1 -- also unless you go to a fundamentalist or Catholic church, there is no presumption or requirement that you believe in God. In the liberal Christian churches (Episcopal, UCC, Methodist, Presbyterian) there are openly agnostic parishioners.

As someone who knows both fundies and catholics, either would be happy to have an agnostic start going to church. They're confident in their services.

OH, they would be happy to see OP walk through their church door, but OP might not be so happy to be there.

Something like 40% of the US population identifies as either Catholic or evangelical Christian. You can’t possibly comment on how 100 million different people feel about anything.

Sure I can -- churches are generally welcoming and therefore happy to see new people come to their services. Plus, it's my opinion and no stats are needed to express an opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a church goer but I have been to enough churches to know you just walk in. They are set up to greet you and get you more involved in the church. That’s the point of the church.

+1 -- also unless you go to a fundamentalist or Catholic church, there is no presumption or requirement that you believe in God. In the liberal Christian churches (Episcopal, UCC, Methodist, Presbyterian) there are openly agnostic parishioners.

As someone who knows both fundies and catholics, either would be happy to have an agnostic start going to church. They're confident in their services.

OH, they would be happy to see OP walk through their church door, but OP might not be so happy to be there.

Something like 40% of the US population identifies as either Catholic or evangelical Christian. You can’t possibly comment on how 100 million different people feel about anything.

Sure I can -- churches are generally welcoming and therefore happy to see new people come to their services. Plus, it's my opinion and no stats are needed to express an opinion.

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