Friends Home with a Pool

[Anonymous]

If you have ES age kids and either have a pool yourself or your kids have friends with a pool do they cause you a lot of added stress / responsibility. I assume it would, we are considering putting on in at our home but we have 3 ES age kids. The goal would be to have our home be more of the hang out house but I am starting to second guess the responsibility etc. of other kids over and visiting and the safety.
On the flip side, if your child goes to a friends home that has a pool what does that conversation look like with the other parents?
TIA for any oppinions or input

[Anonymous]

We have a pool at our second home. If you choose to have a pool, in addition to make sure you have all of the required safety features in constant good working order (secure fences, gates that lock automatically, etc.) you need to understand that you can never, ever -- not even for one second -- leave your kids or any of their friends unwatched while they are at the pool. This literally means you can't even go to the bathroom or grab yourself a glass of water if either act requires removing your eyes from the pool.

If you go into pool ownership with this mindset, it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Our friends have a pool. Their neighbors' kids would come over all the time when they hear splashing sounds. Sometimes the parents would come uninvited too. It's intrusive and they say it happens all the time.

[Anonymous]

So PP how do your friends handle it ... if their neighbors just show up and use their pool? I imagine that has to do with their inability to communicate their desires with their neighbors... "Hey XX we don't allow outside use of our private pool for obvious safety reasons, please be sure not to use the property etc,?" I mean right?
I also assume there is a way to have an automatic cover or locking gates etc. so that people can't just get into the pool.
I am the OP here, we do not have "neighbors" that coulld easily head to our pool should we put one in, we do have about 5 acres of land and our yard is private. I assume there is still much added liability for this though at any rate...

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]So PP how do your friends handle it ... if their neighbors just show up and use their pool? I imagine that has to do with their inability to communicate their desires with their neighbors... "Hey XX we don't allow outside use of our private pool for obvious safety reasons, please be sure not to use the property etc,?" I mean right?
I also assume there is a way to have an automatic cover or locking gates etc. so that people can't just get into the pool.
I am the OP here, we do not have "neighbors" that coulld easily head to our pool should we put one in, we do have about 5 acres of land and our yard is private. I assume there is still much added liability for this though at any rate... [/quote]

I think PP meant the neighbors would hear the owners in the pool splashing around and then head over. Probably not an issue if you're on 5 acres of land.

[Anonymous]

We have a pool and most of my kids' friends have pools. They are very common where we live so they are not a novelty.

Since being around a pool is completely the norm out here, It really doesn't cause us any additional stress or worry. However my kids are a bit older. Youngest is 12 and older ones are teens.

They are not allowed in the pool with friends if an adult isn't home. 12 year old boys are idiots. We don't sit out there with them constantly but have to be in the house if they go in. Pool is only 5' deep so no diving.

I'd be a little more worried if they were younger. I would not want to sit out there every single minute they were in the pool which you would need to do.

That being said, we love having it.

[Anonymous]

We've since moved but had a next door neighbor with an inground pool. DC was invited over to swim. DC was an excellent swimmer but I had a conversation with the other mom about safety and offered to come with DC so that I could keep an eye on the kids while they used the pool. The other mom assured me that she would never leave the kids alone in the pool. DC told me that the other mom did spend a significant amount of time inside while the kids were in the pool. DC isn't prone to lying but I decided to pop over and see for myself. The other mom was inside for over 20 minutes while the kids were in the pool. I don't believe the other mom was watching because she was surprised to see me when she came outside. All that to say that if you do invite other kids over to swim I would either let the parents know that there will not be direct supervision or insist that the kids leave the pool if you're going inside. I'm prepared for people thinking I'm going overboard but drownings (even with experienced swimmers) do happen and are not worth the risk IMO.

[Anonymous]

We filled in a pool when we bought our house with no regrets. We enjoy going to the pool that we have a membership for knowing that they have lifeguards on duty. Plus they provide towels and cocktails!

[Anonymous]

My kids are not allowed to swim in a backyard pool without me there until they are ten AND excellent swimmers, and I am not alone in this type of rule.

So you won’t have a pack of kids hanging out there as much as you think you will.

[Anonymous]

We have a pool and there are a lot of rules that my kids know. Firstly, an alarm goes off if any doors open. Secondly, there's a fence around the pool (also alarmed). Thirdly, my kids know nobody's allowed in the pool without express acknowledgment from an adult who lives there who will watch them. Fourthly, if my kids don't feel they can control their friends (let's sneak and go play in the pool) they know to come tell me or DH. Fifthly, if a kid can't swim, they can't come over to use the pool unless their parent is willing to come over and get in the pool too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a pool and there are a lot of rules that my kids know. Firstly, an alarm goes off if any doors open. Secondly, there's a fence around the pool (also alarmed). Thirdly, my kids know nobody's allowed in the pool without express acknowledgment from an adult who lives there who will watch them. Fourthly, if my kids don't feel they can control their friends (let's sneak and go play in the pool) they know to come tell me or DH. Fifthly, if a kid can't swim, they can't come over to use the pool unless their parent is willing to come over and get in the pool too.

NP here. OP Magnalatch makes pool gate locks with alarms. Install them at a height that young kids cannot reach. https://us.ddtech.com/collections/magnalatch/products/magnalatch-alert-top-pull

[Anonymous]

This is why we passed on all houses with pool when our kids were little. Now they're not interested anymore, so we still pass!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are not allowed to swim in a backyard pool without me there until they are ten AND excellent swimmers, and I am not alone in this type of rule.

So you won’t have a pack of kids hanging out there as much as you think you will.

Allowing kids to swim unattended at age 10 does not seem remotely safe to me.

[Anonymous]

We have a pool. We don't have packs of kids. We usually invite one or two guests at a time.
I never leave anyone unattended in the pool area. If I need to go to the bathroom or get water or something, all kids have to come out and wait for me. No one has ever disobeyed or complained about this rule. We require all kids to be able to swim or bring a parent. It's never been a big deal.

Conversation goes like this: Can so and so come over to swim on x date?
Does so and so know how to swim well? If not, we'd ask that you join us to make sure there are enough eyes.

We've only had a couple of parties, but both times have hired lifeguards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are not allowed to swim in a backyard pool without me there until they are ten AND excellent swimmers, and I am not alone in this type of rule.

So you won’t have a pack of kids hanging out there as much as you think you will.

Allowing kids to swim unattended at age 10 does not seem remotely safe to me.

Yep. I'm 11:46 and if a kid tells me "I'm an excellent swimmer, you don't have to watch me," I will smile and say "I'm so glad you're an excellent swimmer, but in this home kids do not use the pool without an adult present, ever."