How can I better support my recently-widowed Dad?

[Anonymous]

My Mom passed away in February; she and my Dad were married 50 years. She was a force of nature and an extrovert, making all their social and travel plans. He is introverted, a bit of a homebody, and has devoted his whole life to work and family. While he's not officially retired, he's not working anymore. He should be enjoying his golden years, but in addition to losing his spouse, he's also (finally) confronting a cognitive impairment that has been coming on for several years now.

Since my Mom passed, I've spent nearly every weekday at his house, working together on variety of household projects, spending time together, and helping "get his affairs in order," from estate planning to doctor appointments that he's been putting off. It's kept us both busy and distracted - but now that three months have passed since we lost my Mom, and many of those home projects are done, and I've gone back to work part-time so I'm not around as much... I can tell that he's struggling.

Aside from encouraging him to get involved in some activities (group therapy? outdoor interest club? volunteer work?) and spending time with him as much as I can and he wants (see: Introvert, above), what can I do to keep my Dad from sliding into depression and giving up on life? He's fit and in his mid-70s, so hardly an old man, but between the loss of my Mom and realizing that he's probably facing a long, sad slide into dementia, he is understandably struggling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he's also (finally) confronting a cognitive impairment that has been coming on for several years now.

A family member is struggling with this and moved into independent living. It's a relief to us to have him in a place where they are activities and other people looking out for him day to day.

[Anonymous]

Look into a senior center. My grandparents did this after my grandpa retired - it was all people in their 60's and 70's and they'd go during the day and hang out. The center had card games, lectures, entertainers, classes (my grandpa got deep into making stained glass), trips (like a bus to a baseball game), etc. Kept them busy, gave them new friends.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry for your loss, OP. I’d say give your dad some time before you start pushing him into senior activities.

I pushed my mom to go to a grief group after my dad died. She went once and said it was fine. When I pushed her on what what discussed she said, “we all lost husbands we loved. We’re all very sad”.