Should we stay or should we go?

[Anonymous]

This question doesn't neatly fit into any one category but I'm hoping this is best. And I will start by saying I know this is a good problem to have - I'm just looking to do what's best for my child.

We'd like to move homes, but are wondering whether we should stay put in our current public school district. Our elementary is okay, and DS8 hasn't lucked into having one of the better teachers. The high school is tops, but there's a lot of learning and development of good learning habits that needs to happen before then. We were pretty committed to moving even just a few months ago, in part because we haven't loved the school and in part because we'd like a different house in a different neighborhood. The classrooms are pretty large (around 25 kids), and my bright son is getting lost. He doesn't have discipline issues and will do the minimum asked of him, and he'll do a hurried, but passable job. Teachers haven't pushed him or asked much of him. As he's not a self-starter. I've been hoping the teachers would expect more of him and have discussed it with them; but I think they're too busy.

This spring, my son was accepted into the gifted English language arts program. It started this spring, in third grade, and this group of kids will stay together through 5th grade. It's 18 kids, so it's smaller than the regular classrooms. They'll spend 9 hours a week together, pulled out from the regular classrooms. They won't retest again until the end of 5th grade. The teacher has decades of experience, seems awesome, and seems to really understand this group of kids. The teacher has developed her own curriculum with materials the other classrooms don't use. I'm THRILLED that my son has this opportunity, and feel that this could really set him up for success in school as this teacher will get to know the kids well and is already focused on executive functioning, which my son struggles with. My son is an avid reader, reading 4-5 grade levels above. He eats books and the general classroom reading curriculum was pretty boring. But writing is a slog.

My son is also doing well socially, which is wonderful to see after a hard first grade and doing second grade remotely. He's young for his grade, little, and doesn't play team sports. He seems to have found his crowd. He will also be in gifted math next year, but as it hasn't started, I don't have a read on whether it'll be a good fit for him.

The school districts I'm considering moving into are considered better and the test scores of their kids reflect it. Of course, if we move, my child may no longer qualify for gifted services (I suspect more bright kids percentage-wise) -- or the services may not be as well-suited to my child. Of course, I can call and try to learn about the gifted programming elsewhere. And perhaps at a better school, my child would flourish in a general classroom.

For parents who've been in similar spots, should we stay in this school at least through fifth grade so long as my son appears to be thriving? Or does this stuff just not matter that much in the long run?

My other child isn't yet in school, so I don't have enough info to take his learning needs/style into account.

Thank you in advance for your thoughts and for reading my post.

[Anonymous]

I would stay through ES. That upper elementary placement with a great teacher can really set your kid up for success. Just being at a "better" on paper school doesn't mean the right placement.

My GT kids are now 22, 20, and 16. For DS1 our elementary was great through 3rd grade - fantastic teachers. I didn't see a reason to apply for the highly gifted center and stayed at the ES. Mistake. I didn't count on the fact that DS's peers would disappear to HGC. The few really advanced kids were distributed among the 4th and 5th grade classes and DS1 had bad luck with an older teacher who just didn't get advanced kids. She somehow just managed to squash all independence and spark to do more. DS1 had okay 5th, was waitlisted for middle school magnet, and was accepted to HS magnet. Always a fine student, but never really rose to his potential, which carried on in college. I didn't make the same mistake for DS2 and DS3. Applied to HGC, and that advanced reading and writing curriculum, combined with very engaged peers, was amazing for their growth in ES. They both went on to magnet MS, HS and DS2 in T20 college.

If you want to move, wait until MS. Keep your golden placement that you have now.

[Anonymous]

"Better" or "worse" districts within them have "better" or "worse" schools that within them have "better" or "worse" teachers, and from one year to next that same teacher's class can operate "better" or "worse" depending on the dynamics of and amongst the students... basically, all the generalities are nothing more than that. What matters is if a particular environment is working for you and your kid.

If you've got a situation in hand where you think your kid is set up to thrive, I wouldn't rock that boat, enjoy it while you cam, and then consider your options when this program winds down.

[Anonymous]

I would put him in the smaller classroom with the experienced teacher no question.

[Anonymous]

Great school districts have a lot of crappy teachers.

I'd stay put for a little while. Seems like a good setup