3rd wheel encounters when with DH

[Anonymous]

So if it's just DH and I and we go to a store and a salesy person starts chatting DH up, he will often engage and I will be feeling like the 3rd wheel. I am more of an avoid sales people, do your research at home and buy online type of a person.

What would you suggest I do to not feel this way in the moment?

[Anonymous]

Set a goal to listen enough to ask one question. Then excuse yourself to do some browsing. “Bob, while you keep talking, I’m going to see if they have that blue chair I was looking for.”

[Anonymous]

You feel like a "third wheel" if your husband so much as talks to a salesperson? Your DH is not having a relationship or personal encounter with a salesperson if they discuss the advantages of aluminum siding, OP. I think you need to really think carefully about your possessiveness, your relationship, and your insecurity. Your relationship with your husband exists even when he is talking and interacting with other people, which he is allowed to do.

[Anonymous]

Insider that the salesperson can be part of your research?

If you hate salespeople, why not let your husband escape the confines of the house and scrutiny, by letting him go to the store himself?

[Anonymous]

Either get the salesperson to help you “while we’re talking could you point us towards the chair section?” Or just tell your husband you are going to go do whatever you are there for. “Dave I’m going to go check out the chairs. “

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You feel like a "third wheel" if your husband so much as talks to a salesperson? Your DH is not having a relationship or personal encounter with a salesperson if they discuss the advantages of aluminum siding, OP. I think you need to really think carefully about your possessiveness, your relationship, and your insecurity. Your relationship with your husband exists even when he is talking and interacting with other people, which he is allowed to do.

+1. This is one of the dumbest “marital issues” I’ve seen on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

My husband talks to everyone FOREVER and it gets on my nerves. He also sometimes values the salesperson’s opinion more than mine — since I load the dishwasher, I’m going to get the freaking dishwasher that I want. But I don’t feel like a third wheel. And after 15 years, it is more of a joke between us. I call him “mr. Consumer reports” as he solicits the opinion of 10 million people while we both know that if it is an item that is more important to me, then my opinion prevails. And for stuff he cares more about, I just decline to be involved. “Oh, you should go look at grills today while I’m doing x.”

We both know the deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You feel like a "third wheel" if your husband so much as talks to a salesperson? Your DH is not having a relationship or personal encounter with a salesperson if they discuss the advantages of aluminum siding, OP. I think you need to really think carefully about your possessiveness, your relationship, and your insecurity. Your relationship with your husband exists even when he is talking and interacting with other people, which he is allowed to do.

+1. This is one of the dumbest “marital issues” I’ve seen on DCUM.

damn. I'll take that as a compliment implying it is a non bothersome issue.

[Anonymous]

My DH will be happily engaged with a sales person for, no joke, up to an hour sometimes. Not having this person perform any task other than talking to him. We did one of those $99 weekends with a timeshare company where you have to attend the sales presentation. I walked out once he started talking to the sales guy after. I didn’t see him for 2 hours. That’s while on a freaking vacation. I just don’t take him anymore.

[Anonymous]

Do you just feel awkward standing there while he's talking or are you actually jealous? If it's just awkward, walk away. "hey, while you ask about X, I'm going to go browse over by Z and we can meet up after". If you're feeling jealous, that's a whole other issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you just feel awkward standing there while he's talking or are you actually jealous? If it's just awkward, walk away. "hey, while you ask about X, I'm going to go browse over by Z and we can meet up after". If you're feeling jealous, that's a whole other issue.

Hey, maybe OP is concerned her DH is suddenly going to turn gay over a guy working in the grill department at Home Depot. Don't laugh, things like this have happened!

[Anonymous]

Stay home.

[Anonymous]

I'd tell him to text me when he's done and jokingly tell the salesperson to get comfortable because they'll be there a while, but at least I can sit down and have coffee or whatever.

[Anonymous]

This seems odd, that your reaction is bothersome enough that it needs to be managed. Either don’t shop with him, or go do something on your own while he chats with the salesperson. But this is such a nothing burger, I can’t wrap my brain around it.

[Anonymous]

Start scratching your crotch. It works. Be really obvious about it.

If you can fart a few times that will really stir things up. Sounds like pompous asshole.