Caregiver drinking

[Anonymous]

I'm in a bit of a predicament. I live 3.5 hours from my Dad no other family closer to him. My Dad's live in caregiver started drinking again - he was sober for years. I caught him stumbling into my Dad's house via camera yesterday while his other part time caregiver was there. She didn't notice the behavior - uggh. I waited until he sobered up and told him he will have to leave if he continues to use alcohol. He said he will seek treatment. My dad's caregiver then started crying on the phone and apologized and said he would call me back to discuss things when he calms down. He's avoiding me now, I reached out via text and call to see if he's ok and it goes to voicemail.
I'm really at a loss on what to do. My dad can't have a caregiver who is incapacitated.
Background info: Dad only has social security and a very small pension to live off of. Caregiver gets a monthly stipend, paid time off, and all his bills paid for. Dad wants to stay in his home so I hate to move him as I feel it would be the death of him.

[Anonymous]

You need to find a new caregiver, OP. There isn’t an alternative if you want your father to be safe.

[Anonymous]

This doesn’t sound safe. I will warn you in most areas it is hard to find caregivers right now due to labor shortages

[Anonymous]

are you able to switch caregivers?

[Anonymous]

You either find a new caregiver (which can be really tough especially with budget constraints)or move him. If someone is an alcoholic, just asking the person to stop drinking doesn't cut it. He would need to be in treatment with supports. I will tell you sadly there are so often issues. If it isn't drinking, it's stealing or you find a great one who gets a better job in a month. Expect it to be very bumpy and do what works best for you. Yes, your dad will get very upset if you move him. Yes, he is now in an unsafe situation. It sometimes comes down to the less awful choice and not the best choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You either find a new caregiver (which can be really tough especially with budget constraints)or move him. If someone is an alcoholic, just asking the person to stop drinking doesn't cut it. He would need to be in treatment with supports. I will tell you sadly there are so often issues. If it isn't drinking, it's stealing or you find a great one who gets a better job in a month. Expect it to be very bumpy and do what works best for you. Yes, your dad will get very upset if you move him. Yes, he is now in an unsafe situation. It sometimes comes down to the less awful choice and not the best choice.

Sorry i just re-read what you wrote. Yes, if the guy relapsed he needs to be in treatment, but I don't know if you can require that.

[Anonymous]

Is this even legal to have a person live in and be paid a stipend. Whatever that means. You won't find a replacement, maybe a person in the country illegally.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is the consequence of having a really messy employment situation. These housing-as-compensation situations are usually illegal and very prone to these sorts of problems. Your dad wants to stay in his house, but he can’t afford to do so safely and ethically. That’s the bottom line, unfortunately. You can tap dance around it however you want and try to make a bad situation work, but it’s just a matter of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is the consequence of having a really messy employment situation. These housing-as-compensation situations are usually illegal and very prone to these sorts of problems. Your dad wants to stay in his house, but he can’t afford to do so safely and ethically. That’s the bottom line, unfortunately. You can tap dance around it however you want and try to make a bad situation work, but it’s just a matter of time.

This. And this can be an even messier situation because you might need to go through legal channels to evict them (if they don't willingly move out.) That could make it more difficult to find a different live in care giver or to sell the house (if you need proceeds from the sale to pay for an assisted living facility for your dad.)