DH interrupts 3.5 year old all the time.

[Anonymous]

And doesn’t let him complete his “task” or give him a two minute warning that he’s going to have to stop what he’s doing for dinner, to leave, or for school. This causes enormous frustration with DS especially since his nanny and I both give him time.

I can’t get DH to understand. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Not everyone will give time. I don’t see it as a big deal. Let your child know that’s the expectation from his father and he needs to learn to listen.

[Anonymous]

DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

[Anonymous]

Do it to DH for a full day and ask him how he likes it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I just read that JL article today! Came up on my News feed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I just read that JL article today! Came up on my News feed.

Since Indians and Asians outperform whites on nearly every academic metric, maybe you should listen to your spouse instead of lecturing on how your way is better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I just read that JL article today! Came up on my News feed.

Since Indians and Asians outperform whites on nearly every academic metric, maybe you should listen to your spouse instead of lecturing on how your way is better.

DP and it seems that academics are the most important thing to you and emotional intelligence is not which is more important to some people

[Anonymous]

It's okay for your kid to learn and adjust to different styles. He can also learn, as he gets older, to identify how he feels about it (annoyed, disrespected, whatever) and decide what to do about it (likely nothing, but possibly explaining to his dad how it makes him feel and negotiating a change).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I just read that JL article today! Came up on my News feed.

Since Indians and Asians outperform whites on nearly every academic metric, maybe you should listen to your spouse instead of lecturing on how your way is better.

I don’t understand your logic at all. I am Indian and we have high academic expectations but we also respect our kids and give them the courtesy of 5-minute warnings before bath, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I think what you did to your husband was more disrespectful. Kids can learn that different adults have different expectations. One parent shouldn’t assert their way is “correct”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I think what you did to your husband was more disrespectful. Kids can learn that different adults have different expectations. One parent shouldn’t assert their way is “correct”.

That really doesn’t hold water, PP. What if your spouse’s “way” was to spank or scream at your child? Some “ways” simply are right, wrong, or better.

Kids learn to be respectful by being respected. And since children are human, we can assume they don’t like being interrupted or have a change sprung on them suddenly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I think what you did to your husband was more disrespectful. Kids can learn that different adults have different expectations. One parent shouldn’t assert their way is “correct”.

That really doesn’t hold water, PP. What if your spouse’s “way” was to spank or scream at your child? Some “ways” simply are right, wrong, or better.

Kids learn to be respectful by being respected. And since children are human, we can assume they don’t like being interrupted or have a change sprung on them suddenly.

But that’s not the case. It’s simply different parenting style. Good luck with your marriage constantly correcting your spouse. That’s the point. Furthermore, your child is going to be in classes where the teacher doesn’t give them five minute warnings before transitions. You’re not doing your child any favors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's okay for your kid to learn and adjust to different styles. He can also learn, as he gets older, to identify how he feels about it (annoyed, disrespected, whatever) and decide what to do about it (likely nothing, but possibly explaining to his dad how it makes him feel and negotiating a change).

+1
Has your child been to school yet OP? My four year old can talk for hours. I’d we never interrupted her, we would never be anywhere on time. It’s not realistic to always allow the child to finish a task and will not happen in a group school setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was like this as he’s Indian and was raised by authoritarian parents. When they said “jump” he “jumped”.

I showed him studies on Janet Lansbury’s site that concluded that interrupting play or conversation without warning had a negative effect on the child’s ability to concentrate later in school. No idea if that true but it made DH stop doing it immediately and we had far fewer tantrums.

I just think what our husbands were/are doing is so disrespectful to our kids.

I think what you did to your husband was more disrespectful. Kids can learn that different adults have different expectations. One parent shouldn’t assert their way is “correct”.

That really doesn’t hold water, PP. What if your spouse’s “way” was to spank or scream at your child? Some “ways” simply are right, wrong, or better.

Kids learn to be respectful by being respected. And since children are human, we can assume they don’t like being interrupted or have a change sprung on them suddenly.

But that’s not the case. It’s simply different parenting style. Good luck with your marriage constantly correcting your spouse. That’s the point. Furthermore, your child is going to be in classes where the teacher doesn’t give them five minute warnings before transitions. You’re not doing your child any favors.

It is the case. And no, my child will not be in a preschool where the teachers interrupt him or don’t have a schedule with built in transitions.

Don’t you and your spouse discuss and come to an agreement on how best to parent your children?! I’m surprised. Your poor kids must be getting very sneaky playing one of you off the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's okay for your kid to learn and adjust to different styles. He can also learn, as he gets older, to identify how he feels about it (annoyed, disrespected, whatever) and decide what to do about it (likely nothing, but possibly explaining to his dad how it makes him feel and negotiating a change).

+1
Has your child been to school yet OP? My four year old can talk for hours. I’d we never interrupted her, we would never be anywhere on time. It’s not realistic to always allow the child to finish a task and will not happen in a group school setting.

Curtailing a conversation is not the same as interrupting.