After the Miscarriage- What's Next?

[Anonymous]

I just had my first miscarriage last week. I am so very sad. I know each person is different, but does the pain ever end? I just picked up a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility, but would like to hear some personal experiences. For example, what happens at my next OB appointment? How long did it take for you to ovulate or have your period return? Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

It took 5 weeks for me to get my period back. I took misoprostol for a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks. I only went back to ob to check hormone levels went back to 0.
I was told to wait 2 cycles before ttc again. Because of dates and travel we had to wait 3. I wish we hadn't waited at all and I had staarted charting my temp sooner. It's been 6 months and not pg yet.

So sorry and gl.

[Anonymous]

I have miscarried twice. Once in 2004 at 7 weeks. I never knew why. My OB let me miscarry naturally. I don't recall how quickly my period came back. I do know, I miscarried over Memorial Day, and was pregnant by mid-August. I have a beautiful 5 y.o. girl I never would have had had I not lost that first pregnancy. I was 37 when I miscarried.

I became pregnant again last fall around Thanksgiving. That pregnancy was identified as being non-viable at the 7 week ultrasound in early January. It then took almost 6 weeks for that miscarried to then occur naturally. I finally got a 0 beta by president's day.

I just found out I am pregnant again. I am only at 5 weeks. I am waiting to see what my second round of blood test shows for progesterone and beta. If all works out, the irony is that this baby would be due exactly one year to the day from finding out that back u/s from my last pregnancy. I am 43 now.

I guess what I am trying to say to you is don't lose hope. A miscarriage doesn't mean all is lost. Some people even say you are more likely to get pregnant after a mis.

I wish you luck.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm really sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I had 2 miscarriages a couple of years ago and I didn't deal with them very well at all. Happily I now have a healthy 2 year old boy, and honestly, I hardly think about the miscarriages at all. As the PP said, if I had not had the miscarriages then I would not have had my gorgeous boy. Oh, and both times my period arrived about 28 days after my miscarriage started. Did not have a D&C but took Misoprostol for the 2nd miscarriage.

[Anonymous]

I had several miscarriages while in my 20's. They didn't know why. It usually took around 2 months to get my "real" period back, but I found that I need at least that much time to process what had happened and let me body rest, not to mention regain comfort and intimacy between myself and my husband. I'm not sure how other people feel but after a DNC (I have had DNC's and also the suppository method which was God-awful) I didn't feel very open or comfortable during sex and needed time.

We now have a wonderful child, conceived naturally and everything went just fine during the pregnancy. I guess it's just the way it goes. Procreation can be a lot harder than you thought, part of that due to the fact the people rarely share their negative experiences (to the extent that they actually happen) outside of these forums, so there isn't really a human face of a friend/mother/sister on it...

It can be really hard not to dwell on what you have lost, and there are no "wrong" feelings and no timeline, despite the well intentioned horrible comments such as "well it was for the better if it wasn't viable, and you will be pregnant again soon"...

Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

I just miscarried in March. It's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with - I think because it came after two years of trying to get pregnant in the first place so to me, it felt like a cruel joke. I got my first period about eight weeks after and now am getting ready for a frozen transfer. The only thing I can say is that things get better with time and certainly give yourself the freedom to be as emotional as you need to.

[Anonymous]

I miscarried last July at 12 weeks, had a D&C and didn't get my period back for 5 weeks and was pretty depressed the whole time. After getting my period back, I started to feel normal again/could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I took several cycles "off" per my doctor's recommendation (and to fully heal emotionally) and am now expecting a DD in July --- her due date is exactly one week after the anniversary of my D&C. I know it sucks right now, but (as the old saying goes) time does heal all wounds and you just have to focus on the positive (i.e., you got pregnant in the first place and hopefully will be again soon). And I agree with the PPs who had miscarriages but then had babies later (which babies wouldn't be here but for the miscarriages). Had I not miscarried I wuold have had a baby this past January and I can't even imagine that now-- to me, my child was supposed to come this July. For now, though, just concentrate on being good to yourself and trying to stay positive-- you definitely deserve it (and as the PP said, definitely be as emotional as you need to be!). Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks so much for your responses. It helps enormously. I am upset with the way my OB's practice handled the whole thing and am now doubting myself. I can't wait for my cycles to return the normal and just wondering if the miscarriage will significantly mess them up. At any rate, this experience has caused me to look for a new OB practice.

[Anonymous]

OP, what OB practice do you go to? I didn't like the way mine (in Arlington hospital) dealt with my non-viable pregnancy. They were like:
What's the big deal? It's a blighted ovum!

It's been more than a year since my D&C, but I haven't got pregnant yet. I feel awful almost every day.