Can't stand all day small talk at workplace

[Anonymous]

I don't have my own office space, it is rather a small room with 2 other co-workers literally sitting 1-2 feet away from each other. We work in healthcare, and throughout the day, not only do I have to talk to my patients; but also to co-workers. I have to listen to all unnecessary conversations going on between my co-workers ( work related and private) all day long because of the physical tight space of the office room. I'm an introvert by nature and rather shy, and don't like to talk all day long, because I feel mentally exhausted. I'm not one of those loud, bubbly personalities who crack jokes and know what to say if challenged by someone. I get the sense that people don't respect me and don't like me because I'm quiet. For example, I noticed that some of coworkers won't say "Good morning" to me when they pass by me, but they always say good morning to my other co-workers. Also, I noticed that when I'm overburdened with daily tasks, some ( not all) co-workers won't help ( where they easily could); but those same co-workers will definitely help those co-workers whom they like in the same situation. I would love to work from home or not have to be forced to work in groups, but that's not an option. I have to be physically at work every day and cannot transfer to other department. I'm also in my 40s and sometimes I feel like a teenager trying to figure out how to be liked and respected. Does anyone has any suggestions for me how I can survive this workplace environment?

[Anonymous]

I'm hearing two things - one is that you don't really want to interact with your coworkers at all, and two is that you don't think they want to interact with you.

I think you need to figure out what it really is that you want and what is frustrating you. Do you feel rejected by your coworkers and are putting up an "I'm an introvert" excuse to deal with your own frustration and pain over that? Or do you truly not want to interact with them but wish they would help you more with a few work tasks?

What I'm hearing suggests that you wish they wanted to interact with you in the way that you want, but you don't have control over that. They probably see you as snotty and disinterested in them, so why should they be interested in you? Do you say "Good morning" to them when they walk by? If so, do they ignore you or answer? This isn't all on them - it's on you to initiate friendships, too, and there is no reason why an introvert can't do simple friendly things.

Do you help them out with work if they need it? Do they ever approach you with this? Do you offer to help? Friendships are reciprocal, so if you start offering to help them, they might see you as a partner and offer the same. If they don't think you care enough to help them when they are in need, why would they offer the same to you?

[Anonymous]

You can’t have it both ways. If you want coworkers to be friendly and talk to you then you have to reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

Act to others the way you’d like them to act towards you.

Want them to say “hi”? Say “hi” to them - why are you waiting for them to initiate.

Want help? Ask for it nicely and be helpful to them.

When people complain about situations feeling like high school, I always wonder if they are the ones acting like they are in high school and carrying their own insecurities with them. Get over it. Be who you want to be. Most people are self-absorbed, don’t read anything into it. They aren’t even thinking about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get the sense that people don't respect me and don't like me because I'm quiet. For example, I noticed that some of coworkers won't say "Good morning" to me when they pass by me, but they always say good morning to my other co-workers.

Are you saying good morning and they don't reply? Or are you waiting for them to say it first?

[Anonymous]

Work is like high school. Really work is more like junior high school.

This is why I love working from home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the sense that people don't respect me and don't like me because I'm quiet. For example, I noticed that some of coworkers won't say "Good morning" to me when they pass by me, but they always say good morning to my other co-workers.

Are you saying good morning and they don't reply? Or are you waiting for them to say it first?

OP here. I always say "Good morning" with a smile to everyone I pass along at my work. Most of coworkers will say " Good morning" as well when they pass by me. The example, I was describing earlier was about few junior co-workers who stepped into my room ( since we have some office supplies) for a second to take some supplies, where I don't see them immediately and they are right behind my back.

Also, I agree with all other comments here. I would like to point out that I'm a nice person, always willing to help others when they need help. But then, when I need help, I don't get it offered from some co-workers.