Protocols for sleepover?

[Anonymous]

Do you expect parents who are dropping off their kids at your house for a sleepover to come inside to "check things out?" I wouldn't expect anybody to allow their child to sleep at anybody's house if there were anything that needed to be inspected that evening before leaving them there. To me, you don't say yes to the sleepover unless you're comfortable with them staying in that family's house. It's way too late at drop off to put the brakes on. Much better to do some playdates and work your way up to a sleepover. Don't show up that evening with your child and then decide it's not a good idea or there will be lots of tears and insulted people all around.

As the host parent, I'd find it very rude if the guest's parent expected to be asked inside as if I'm hosting the adults. I don't clean and get the house ready as if I were expecting adults to come inside for a visit/inspection when my child is hosting a casual sleepover. My friend runs around getting everything spotless for her teen son's friends, which I never do for my teen son's friends. The house stays in its usual sanitary but "lived in" state. But if I thought for a minute that any of their parents were going to come inside and inspect my kitchen for cleanliness, I'd rarely say yes to their impromptu sleepover requests. And in the age of COVID, I really don't want an adult who may be working with the public and not working from home like us to come inside.

[Anonymous]

What? But your teenager's friend's can come inside and spend the night?

[Anonymous]

I would never let my kid sleep over your house with that attitude. You should invite the parents in for a few minutes.

[Anonymous]

Nobody is asking to come inside! Why would they? That would be rude. They drop off their kids and wave from the car. Who comes inside these days? They usually have their other kids in the car who are waiting to be dropped off at their activity or go home and eat dinner. The last thing anybody wants is a visit so the parent can inspect your house.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I don't invite them in and I don't not invite them in. They just have the common sense to not get out of the car and walk their teenager to the door. These are people who have known us for years. We've done auction duty together. We've passed out the team t-shirts together. We got to Mass together. We trade tools for Pinewood Derby. My husband coached their kid in soccer. They don't need to come inside of my house to inspect before letting Larlo sleepover.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should not have sleep overs then

[Anonymous]

I don’t see what the big deal is. If I don’t know the parents, I would like to meet them. If I do know the parents, I like to chat for a bit if they seem to want to come in.

I don’t need to “prepare” my house. It isn’t ready to be featured in Town and Country, but it is reasonably clean by most standards all the time. Sure there might be cooking going on, stuff left on the dining room table, perhaps a heap of laundry waiting to be folded, but who care? I’m always glad to say hello to parents of children I’m having over.

Why do you have such a chip on your shoulder about not expecting adult visitors?

[Anonymous]

Try reading, PP. It's amazing!

" My friend runs around getting everything spotless for her teen son's friends, which I never do for my teen son's friends. The house stays in its usual sanitary but "lived in" state. "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try reading, PP. It's amazing!

" My friend runs around getting everything spotless for her teen son's friends, which I never do for my teen son's friends. The house stays in its usual sanitary but "lived in" state. "

Yeah, I got that, but it seems like OP isn’t ok with her “clean” friend seeing this. She feels judged if she doesn’t. If she doesn’t want to make her house spotless don’t. Maybe the other parent likes to. Op has no idea if the parents are playing some weird house cleaning comparison game. She sounds paranoid and this is all in her head.

[Anonymous]

This seems really paranoid. I don’t think they were coming to inspect your house. Maybe consider they just like you? It’s normal to greet friends and I would think it’s strange for someone to drop at the driveway. Come in and say hello.

[Anonymous]

Protocols? For friends ? Odd.

[Anonymous]

Are you asking a question here? Did someone walk their teenager to your door and ask if they could come in to see your house? Or did this happen to your friend? What???

[Anonymous]

I would not be offended by someone wanting to see where their kids will be for a night. That’s called parenting. I wouldn’t care if my house was messy either, if they don’t feel comfortable with their kids there they won’t stay. That’s responsible parenting, stop shaming people for being responsible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don't invite them in and I don't not invite them in. They just have the common sense to not get out of the car and walk their teenager to the door. These are people who have known us for years. We've done auction duty together. We've passed out the team t-shirts together. We got to Mass together. We trade tools for Pinewood Derby. My husband coached their kid in soccer. They don't need to come inside of my house to inspect before letting Larlo sleepover.

With that attitude I’d definitely want to check in on your house.

[Anonymous]

My kids are teens now so no one is coming in, but when they did it was just inside the front door. No one was roaming around the house. OP’s situation seems very specific to her friend(s).