Help! Song choice for first dance…dying man
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Anonymous
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Beloved 75 yr old husband/dad/grandpa was just diagnosed with Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (rare, rapidly progressing, untreatable terminal illness). He always wanted to take his wife to a military ball (he’s retired military) and now will never have the chance, so we are throwing him his own ball. ON MONDAY. Less than a week after his diagnosis (because it’s that fast-moving of a disease). He is quickly losing mobility and went from playing pickle ball 2 weeks ago to using a walker a week later. Cognitive ability too - last week he was VERY excited about the idea of a ball, and by today he’d forgotten all about it, despite talking about it each day all week. (But he’s still very happy about the idea - it just seems new to him today.)
A friend is going to invite him & his wife to lead the first dance. HERE’S WHERE I NEED HELP: please offer suggestions for first dance songs that are slow, sway-back-and-forth songs, and don’t promise everlasting love or claim it’s a wonderful world or anything else. Just something sweet and lovely but that fits an occasion on which all will be aware it’s his last dance and he’s likely to be gone within weeks to months. So, um, what’s the perfect song for him to dance with his wife that also goes nicely with a “we know you’re dying” event? He likes 60s music & some from 50s/70s. He is the most kindhearted and amazing man. Life is super F-ing sad for all of us right now and we just really, really want him to have this moment of joy. Thanks in advance for any ideas. Kleenex as table decorations for this one. Oof. |
Anonymous
| Are you sure he wants this? My DH was much younger, but after his dx, he only saw family. He died 6 mos later. I mean, the man knows he’s dying, Let him or his wife pick the song. |
Anonymous
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Very sorry for your situation, OP.
Louis Armstrong, What a Wonderful World. It's all about appreciating this moment. |
Anonymous
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He was born in 1946 or 1947. I think finding songs from when they were teenagers is the way to go. So based on that, here are the popular songs from 1960-1965 that were popular and I am pretty sure are slow:
Turn, Turn, Turn - Byrds Downtown - Petula Clark Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers 1970's First Time Ever I Saw Your Face Wonderful Tonight (Eric Clapton) Also, your grandpa is my dad's age, and my dad really likes Beach Boys (maybe Kokomo would work?), Eagles , (Desperado?), etc. What about I Will Always Love You (by Dolly Parton and rerecorded by Whitney Houston)? |
Anonymous
Great songs, but not exactly slow. Also, I Will Always Love You is a break-up song. Not exactly appropriate for this occasion, especially since the guest of honor is dying. |
Anonymous
I’m sure you mean well with this post, but you’re suggesting we’re imposing this upon him. We’re not. He’s my stepdad of 20 years. We are incredibly close. I’ve been by his side every day and many nights as he went through the nightmare of a diagnostic process in which day by day opportunity for hope was eliminated. When he was diagnosed, he said he wanted to wear his dress blues and he wanted to take my mom to a ball. He will likely lose the ability to recognize people or communicate within 4 weeks. He wanted to see his military friends. This is honoring his wishes. This disease moves SO FAST that each day he loses more and more ability to recall information or generate speech. It’s like dementia on 32x fast-forward. So, unfortunately, he’s no longer able to tell us which song he’s like to choose. He also can’t tell us if he wants chicken or roast beef because he can’t remember what those words mean, but he enjoys what he has always loved. So we take our twenty years of knowledge of him paired with the 40 years of his kids’ knowledge and we do our best for him, and we all agree that this event will mean a lot to him. I’m very sorry for the loss of your husband but it sounds like it was a very different journey for him. I hope he was able to find joy in his final days. We are trying to bring joy to my stepdad in his final days by giving him something he’s said loudly and clearly was important to him: take his wife to the ball, be back in his dress blues, and see his military friends. |
Anonymous
You didn't read the OP, did you? They explicitly said no songs about claiming "it's a wonderful world!" Pay attention! |
Anonymous
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Can’t help falling in love with you (Elvis)
Wonderful tonight (Eric Clapton) Or if you really want a tear jerker, Ray Charle’s I can’t stop loving you. Fitting but might be too sad. Til there was you is another good Ray Charles song. If this was for my dad, I think we’d do Ray Charles. So sorry you’re family is going through this. |
Anonymous
Thank you, I’ll scroll through lyrics for these for sure. |
Anonymous
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Sending you all lots of light and love….
Because of You by Tony Bennett Chances Are by Johnny Mathis Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong |
Anonymous
Jesus! Read the OP. They do not want this type of song! The world is anything but wonderful for them right now. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Unchained melody or unforgettable |
Anonymous
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It Had to Be You
Have I told you lately that I love you The Story |
Anonymous
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My girl - temptations
Can’t keep my eyes off of you - ? Blanking on artist Thinking of him and your family op! I hope it goes really well and he enjoys it. |