Transistioning from Nanny to Daycare

[Anonymous]

My 1.5 year old will be starting Daycare this September. She has been with the same amazing Nanny since she was 3 months old. I can't begin to describe how much she loves her. We have a nanny share set up and she is equally attached to the child we share our nanny with. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to prepare our child for what will be the biggest change in her life thus far? Currently all I keep thinking is that the next five months (before September) are months that my daughter will fall even more in love with our nanny. Any transition stories that you can share will be helpful and much appreciated. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

My son went from a wonderful nanny to daycare at about 15 months. We tried to prepare from the transition as much as possible, but it is hard to do. We talked alot about "school" and i took him to the daycare a couple times before we made the switch. The first week, i spent a lot of time there with the teachers in the room to help him begin to feel secure. It was rough though, and it took i would say a month til he was really happy to go. We were even in despair at a couple points. But the important thing is to be as patient as possible and give it time. And remember that they are the most upset when you are in the room! Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same situation, save with a 2.5 yo...and the school will not let me come in during class time because it will disturb the teachers and children. Should this be a huge red flag (montessori school)?

Actually the last poster made me feel worse, more worried; I cannot go in and sit with him for adjustment. Are there any other moms who've had a better experience or is this the norm. Now a little panicked also.

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much, the daycare we are starting at told me that they don't reccomend my hanging around to much the first week and also that they don't really suggest half day starts...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much, the daycare we are starting at told me that they don't reccomend my hanging around to much the first week and also that they don't really suggest half day starts...

My son was two when we tried to transition to a daycare that did not recommend hanging around too much and didn't encourage half-day starts. It was a complete disaster and we pulled him out after 4 days. He was emotionally distraught and had become a fearful child over the course of 4 days (and not just at drop off). I regret listening to them and was not following my instincts because they were the "experts." Of course, I don't know that it would have gone any better had I done it my way, but their way was not right for my child. I say follow your instincts. If your child needs a gradual transition - do it. The daycare isn't going to prohibit it. If I had to do it over again, I would do mornings only for a few days.

As for the montessori poster, I have no advice because we're going to be in the same boat in September. We've gotten a lot of books about school and talk about it a lot. I'm planning to try to get the names of some of the other kids he'll be in class with and hopefully let him get to know some of them. So at least there's some familiarity there. I hope they allow me to at least do that. I also periodically walk him by the school and talk about it. He sees the park and always wants to go in.

[Anonymous]

Thank you pp for your support, thoughts. In the whole scheme of things, I know and realize he'll be okay in the long run but I just want to make this easier on DS (a single child to single 45 yo mom completely green at motherhood), which will in turn make it easier on the teachers and other children also if he melts down. I fear the Montessori will just tell me "no, we cannot give out names" but that doesn't mean I cannot try. Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

To find other kids that will be in the class you should post to the listserve--you'll definitely get some leads.

[Anonymous]

To the poster with a child in a Montessori school-- I wouldn't worry- this is very common in Montessori schools. My daughter transitioned from a daycare to Montessori this fall. It was a big adjustment for her on a number of levels, but I think actually limiting the amount of time I was in the classroom helped. Instead of being unsure of how long I was staying, the "10 min rule" (that's how her school handles drop off- parents are expected to leave the classroom after 10 min) actually gave her more structure/certainty with the dropoff routine. When she was in daycare, I tended to linger too long. So, it's definitely not for everyone, but not a red flag to be concerned about either. Good luck!