What’s it like having an au pair?
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Anonymous
| My son is seven and needs to be picked up from school every day at 3 and occasionally go to sports practice. Barring horrific weather, au pair would need to walk a little less than a mile to get him and same coming home and then hang out with him until 7. And au pair would need to cover sick days and school holidays. We live on the upper west side of Manhattan. Very convenient location and no need for her to ever drive. She would have her own en suite bedroom/bathroom. It sounds like a great job to me but what do I know… |
Anonymous
| You’re talking about an au pair working only four hours a day, five days a week with a chance to live in New York with her own bathroom?! Yeah, it sounds pretty sweet!! |
Anonymous
You will get the very best. I could let my DH take care of house and kids and apply. I would think of it as a vacation. |
Anonymous
| Look in the Nanny Forum of this board in the Au Pair Discussion section. |
Anonymous
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It’s a great fricking job opportunity for any young woman (or older woman like me!).
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Anonymous
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We had a great experience with au pairs (pre Covid) and couldn’t have gotten by without them. We started when my DD was in elementary school and all were like big sisters to her. We also needed less than 25 hours a week and it was mostly picking DD up from school and doing her activities with her. Our au pairs were Spanish speaking, which DD was taking in school, and we all attribute her success in Spanish class to them.
It’s so hard when they leave though. DD and I missed each one and cried when they left. Hopefully we’ll see our first au pair on a trip this summer! You have to be ready to treat these young women like family. Help them get settled and show them “the ropes” precisely. Never being late for school pick up and safety were our biggest concerns so we showed our au pairs around the city (metro, activity locations, school, etc) for a good two weeks before they took over. |
Anonymous
| We had au pairs for 7 years. WONDERFUL women who are like family even though we haven’t had an AP for 4 years. |
Anonymous
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Au pairs are great for older kids. And your au pair has a fricking dream job!! We’re stuck out in the suburbs and our au pairs were still happy and so helpful.
But know it’s a cultural exchange, OP, and not a hired nanny (although we are still very close to our former nanny). It’s a lot more involvement in the caregivers life to have an au pair. |
Anonymous
| What about summers? |
Anonymous
OP here. My son will go to camp summer programs. We’ll also go on vacation (including au pair) for a couple weeks. The au pair’s schedule won’t change. |
Anonymous
| You’re getting a 18-26 year old young adult in your home from another country. Some will be appreciative of the perks and low hours in comparison to their friends who work a full 45 hours. Others may still be entitled and feel like they deserve more compensation, so they may abuse a credit card by racking up personal charges in addition to permitted purchases (if provided) or order expensive dinners when you take them out (like surf and turf while everyone else is getting burgers). You also have to watch for how much they take the job seriously vs being on their phone the entire time and ignoring your kid. It’s really down to your screening and judgment to pick the right person for your family rather than hosting a disaster that turns into a nightmare. Do your research into the benefits and pitfalls before you leap. |
Anonymous
| I've mostly heard wonderful things, but I had two friends who had problems. One, her au pair started dating a married marijuana dealer, and became pregnant by him. She moved the dealer into my friend's house and called him her fiancé. Because of local landlord-tenant laws and the various rights under the au pair visa program, my friend could not simply fire her and/or kick her out. She had to hire a lawyer, evict them, and pay the au pair significant money to go away. The other seems mild by comparison, as her au pair just got several traffic tickets that included a threat of jail time (reckless driving in VA). She also had to hire a lawyer for the au pair. |
Anonymous
Whoa! I've been a host mom for 10 years now (last au pair leaves in a few months) and never heard a story as bad as the first one. In fact, I don't believe it, as there are a ton of rule violations that are both contractual and legal in nature. I suspect this was not a legal pair program at all but someone who came over as an "au pair" from somewhere (friend of a friend's kid etc.) Anyhow OP, essentially the key to the whole thing is: 1) Being ok with another person living in your house. Sometimes they hang around in the evening. Sometimes, they need a lot of TLC. 2) Finding a good LCC. Ask the agencies if you could speak to the LCC for your area before you agree to go with them. They can be super helpful or completely useless. 3) Good spidey sense. When you are interviewing candidates, I personally look for personality/intelligence and train for skill on the job. You want a smart, capable young woman or man who basically likes being around kids. I've learned that having been a preschool teacher or a degree in education really doesn't matter much. It's far more important that they are able to problem-solve on their own, are responsible, organized, funny, flexible, conscientious and curious. |
Anonymous
Unfortunately, the first story is true. Obviously an outlier. |
Anonymous
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I think they're great for older kids who are in school most of the day and need to be picked up or walked home from the bus and supervised until parents get home from work. My friend has had good success with au pairs for kids in this age group. She's a single mom so she also likes having another adult in the house.
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