club sports - (how) do you talk to the coach?

[Anonymous]

both of my boys (13 and 15 years old) play club sports, one soccer and one volleyball. The volleyball coach is very approachable but the soccer coach is not. As we look ahead for next season, both boys want to try different positions on the field/court, how do you go about discussing this with coaches? with soccer coach, it has been like one-way communication and always what he wants. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I’d encourage your sons to set up a meeting with the coach at the end of the season. Talk about goals for the off season, what the coach recommends they work on, etc. This would be a great time for your son to say, “I’m really interested in playing more midfield as opposed to defense next season. Are there specific things I can work on to make that a possibility?”

Either the coach will give him things to work on or say no, he’s staying at his position. You can at least have the information and move on to another organization if the new position is important to him.

Coach should be very happy to field this call from your sons imo. They’re old enough to initiate this conversation with you listening but not contributing.

[Anonymous]

You do not. They can.

[Anonymous]

You don’t. This is something your sons need to do, asking “coach, what do I need to work on to get more playing time at position x?” Or “I’m interested in trying position x, would it be possible to get some reps there in practice if possible?”

It’s tough. But at those ages talking to the coach is a big no-no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d encourage your sons to set up a meeting with the coach at the end of the season. Talk about goals for the off season, what the coach recommends they work on, etc. This would be a great time for your son to say, “I’m really interested in playing more midfield as opposed to defense next season. Are there specific things I can work on to make that a possibility?”

Either the coach will give him things to work on or say no, he’s staying at his position. You can at least have the information and move on to another organization if the new position is important to him.

Coach should be very happy to field this call from your sons imo. They’re old enough to initiate this conversation with you listening but not contributing.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d encourage your sons to set up a meeting with the coach at the end of the season. Talk about goals for the off season, what the coach recommends they work on, etc. This would be a great time for your son to say, “I’m really interested in playing more midfield as opposed to defense next season. Are there specific things I can work on to make that a possibility?”

Either the coach will give him things to work on or say no, he’s staying at his position. You can at least have the information and move on to another organization if the new position is important to him.

Coach should be very happy to field this call from your sons imo. They’re old enough to initiate this conversation with you listening but not contributing.

+1

I don't think you want to set up a meeting, and your son shouldn't wait until the end of the season. Your son can bring it up at the end of practice or after a game.

[Anonymous]

The kids should ask their coach about learning knee positions, if the coach won’t allow it, find a team and coach that will.

[Anonymous]

Everyone always says the young players should discuss this with the coach. It is not a bad exercise to do, but it is an exercise. Set that aside for the moment.

Do you know why your kids are playing the positions they are playing? Think about it. What role do they have on their respective teams? Why do you think they want to revise that role? Is it likely that the coach and team will stay the same next year? If the coach changes or the team changes significantly, would that matter to your kids?

Start with the basic questions: Why are your kids playing where they are playing right now? What are the primary attributes of those positions? Do your kids possess them, or do they possess more of them than their current teammates? And - importantly - does it matter?

I don’t know about men’s volleyball. I know everyone is tall. Is your kid physically a better fit now for a different position (set aside experience and skill level for a second). And - very important - will they physically develop so that they are a decent candidate in the future. Switch sports for a second - it does no one any good to put an early maturing 5’8” boy into and only into the role of a center on a basketball team if they are basically done growing. In a couple of years they become the size of the point guard with none of the experience. So - future growth needs to considered.

With soccer - the predominant characteristics are speed and quickness, and then size. Is your kid playing a position or positions that fit their physical status? It is a lot more open in the sense that height is good everywhere, but really only needed in center back positions.

Now - with soccer - the real question is relative abilities of the team members. The “strongest” overall players will mostly be in the middle of the field. Left handed (footed) players will be along the left side of the field. And, like most guy sports - bigger and faster is better, but there is a huge IF there. The IF is that the players have to be skilled relative to their teammates and competition.

With high level youth soccer teams - the goals are mostly individual player development. So playing different positions other than keeper can be done in practices and scrimmages and that is fine. Frankly it is often done that way to get kids time at other positions. What a coach will not tell a kid, and maybe will not tell a parent, is that the weaker players are worked into the lineup more with the idea of doing the least harm rather than the idea of doing the most good. So - for example - a good place to put weaker players to get them playing time is at a forward position. They probably won’t score, but they won’t cost you a goal either.

And - keep in mind - strong/weak is relative to the level of play. The weakest player on a really good team may well be the strongest player if put on a mid-level team.

So - back to communication - start with your knowledge of where your kids stand in terms of their individual ability and size. In the ideal situation what positions would they best be fit for? Are those the positions they want to play? Then the next tough step - are those positions available to play on their current teams? If not - why not? Another player or players better? Is that a position the coach uses to hide weaker players? Finally - what additional skills/attributes would be needed?

Mind you - I do not think any coach is going to say to you or your kid - I can’t play you there because that is where I hide our weaker players. But that very well may be the correct answer.

The key, I think, in any case, is to work hard to learn the skills needed for the positions you do play, AND for others as well. Versatility is a very good thing.

A story - my daughter played 4 years of college soccer. For years and years of club soccer she was mostly a defender. But she is short and while short defenders are not an unknown in women’s soccer they are far from ideal. Still - she was very fast and quick and even on high level teams that makes up for a lot. When we got to college recruitment though - not one college coach saw her as a defender. Every single one pictured her as a right mid or forward. She spent her senior year (women players commit as sophomores and juniors) learning how to play forward.

She got to college and fought for playing time anywhere. Early in her Junior year she was warmed up to sub in as a forward, and the defensive center mid went down with what turn out to be an acl. My kid was warmed up so she went in to cover and did well enough to stay in. She ended up keeping the position through her senior season. So - based on our experience with my kid - I would say the keys are to develop the skills to work any position, and to take advantage of non-game opportunities to expand your experience. Maybe the coach won’t play you up top in a game, but would be happy to give you time up top in practices and scrimmages.
That is an easier ask for a kid to make too. He’s not looking to take Bill or Ted’s position, but wants some experience up top or on D so can he play there at the end of practice scrimmage now and then? That may get the coach to say to himself - I should be mixing them up every now and then so yeah - let’s do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not. They can.

+1. This is a good opportunity for them to learn to take matters into their own hands instead of having mom do it for them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone always says the young players should discuss this with the coach. It is not a bad exercise to do, but it is an exercise. Set that aside for the moment.

Do you know why your kids are playing the positions they are playing? Think about it. What role do they have on their respective teams? Why do you think they want to revise that role? Is it likely that the coach and team will stay the same next year? If the coach changes or the team changes significantly, would that matter to your kids?

Start with the basic questions: Why are your kids playing where they are playing right now? What are the primary attributes of those positions? Do your kids possess them, or do they possess more of them than their current teammates? And - importantly - does it matter?

I don’t know about men’s volleyball. I know everyone is tall. Is your kid physically a better fit now for a different position (set aside experience and skill level for a second). And - very important - will they physically develop so that they are a decent candidate in the future. Switch sports for a second - it does no one any good to put an early maturing 5’8” boy into and only into the role of a center on a basketball team if they are basically done growing. In a couple of years they become the size of the point guard with none of the experience. So - future growth needs to considered.

With soccer - the predominant characteristics are speed and quickness, and then size. Is your kid playing a position or positions that fit their physical status? It is a lot more open in the sense that height is good everywhere, but really only needed in center back positions.

Now - with soccer - the real question is relative abilities of the team members. The “strongest” overall players will mostly be in the middle of the field. Left handed (footed) players will be along the left side of the field. And, like most guy sports - bigger and faster is better, but there is a huge IF there. The IF is that the players have to be skilled relative to their teammates and competition.

With high level youth soccer teams - the goals are mostly individual player development. So playing different positions other than keeper can be done in practices and scrimmages and that is fine. Frankly it is often done that way to get kids time at other positions. What a coach will not tell a kid, and maybe will not tell a parent, is that the weaker players are worked into the lineup more with the idea of doing the least harm rather than the idea of doing the most good. So - for example - a good place to put weaker players to get them playing time is at a forward position. They probably won’t score, but they won’t cost you a goal either.

And - keep in mind - strong/weak is relative to the level of play. The weakest player on a really good team may well be the strongest player if put on a mid-level team.

So - back to communication - start with your knowledge of where your kids stand in terms of their individual ability and size. In the ideal situation what positions would they best be fit for? Are those the positions they want to play? Then the next tough step - are those positions available to play on their current teams? If not - why not? Another player or players better? Is that a position the coach uses to hide weaker players? Finally - what additional skills/attributes would be needed?

Mind you - I do not think any coach is going to say to you or your kid - I can’t play you there because that is where I hide our weaker players. But that very well may be the correct answer.

The key, I think, in any case, is to work hard to learn the skills needed for the positions you do play, AND for others as well. Versatility is a very good thing.

A story - my daughter played 4 years of college soccer. For years and years of club soccer she was mostly a defender. But she is short and while short defenders are not an unknown in women’s soccer they are far from ideal. Still - she was very fast and quick and even on high level teams that makes up for a lot. When we got to college recruitment though - not one college coach saw her as a defender. Every single one pictured her as a right mid or forward. She spent her senior year (women players commit as sophomores and juniors) learning how to play forward.

She got to college and fought for playing time anywhere. Early in her Junior year she was warmed up to sub in as a forward, and the defensive center mid went down with what turn out to be an acl. My kid was warmed up so she went in to cover and did well enough to stay in. She ended up keeping the position through her senior season. So - based on our experience with my kid - I would say the keys are to develop the skills to work any position, and to take advantage of non-game opportunities to expand your experience. Maybe the coach won’t play you up top in a game, but would be happy to give you time up top in practices and scrimmages.
That is an easier ask for a kid to make too. He’s not looking to take Bill or Ted’s position, but wants some experience up top or on D so can he play there at the end of practice scrimmage now and then? That may get the coach to say to himself - I should be mixing them up every now and then so yeah - let’s do it.

+1 this is really excellent advice. Also, are there opportunities on other teams (school, rec, subbing for another club) where they would have an opportunity to get reps at other positions? For example, my 13yo DS plays travel baseball and isn’t able to get much playing time at catcher (a position he really enjoys) on his regular team. They have 2 catchers that are simply better at the position and son plays elsewhere. So, son subs on other teams occasionally to get reps at that position (his coaches are totally fine with it), which works out great! He has a few teammates that still play on rec teams etc along with travel- they do it to play with friends and to get time at key positions (pitch, shortstop etc) they don’t get to play in travel. Would something like that be possible?

[Anonymous]

You don't.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thank you all for the advice. i appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d encourage your sons to set up a meeting with the coach at the end of the season. Talk about goals for the off season, what the coach recommends they work on, etc. This would be a great time for your son to say, “I’m really interested in playing more midfield as opposed to defense next season. Are there specific things I can work on to make that a possibility?”

Either the coach will give him things to work on or say no, he’s staying at his position. You can at least have the information and move on to another organization if the new position is important to him.

Coach should be very happy to field this call from your sons imo. They’re old enough to initiate this conversation with you listening but not contributing.

No don’t wait! Every practice, game or scrimmage, the coach has an opportunity to put your kid in the position he wants to try. If he doesn’t think your kid can handle it, in practice he can stop play and explain to him why and what he needs to work on. If a coach can’t do this, look for a coach who is better for your child’s development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d encourage your sons to set up a meeting with the coach at the end of the season. Talk about goals for the off season, what the coach recommends they work on, etc. This would be a great time for your son to say, “I’m really interested in playing more midfield as opposed to defense next season. Are there specific things I can work on to make that a possibility?”

Either the coach will give him things to work on or say no, he’s staying at his position. You can at least have the information and move on to another organization if the new position is important to him.

Coach should be very happy to field this call from your sons imo. They’re old enough to initiate this conversation with you listening but not contributing.

No don’t wait! Every practice, game or scrimmage, the coach has an opportunity to put your kid in the position he wants to try. If he doesn’t think your kid can handle it, in practice he can stop play and explain to him why and what he needs to work on. If a coach can’t do this, look for a coach who is better for your child’s development.

I don’t think it is realistic to expect a coach to put a 15yo club player in a brand new position with no experience. It seems entitled. Discussing ways to improve at a certain position, vs I want to play here, is a completely different approach. So sure, have the conversation mid season but don’t expect a lot to change when the athlete hasn’t had a chance to do the work. I suggested end of season because most coaches have some sort of debriefing conversation or evaluation. Mid season is also fine, but interrupting practice isn’t a great idea, and neither is before or after practice imo. Ask for a convenient time to schedule a conversation rather than just catching coach on the run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d encourage your sons to set up a meeting with the coach at the end of the season. Talk about goals for the off season, what the coach recommends they work on, etc. This would be a great time for your son to say, “I’m really interested in playing more midfield as opposed to defense next season. Are there specific things I can work on to make that a possibility?”

Either the coach will give him things to work on or say no, he’s staying at his position. You can at least have the information and move on to another organization if the new position is important to him.

Coach should be very happy to field this call from your sons imo. They’re old enough to initiate this conversation with you listening but not contributing.

No don’t wait! Every practice, game or scrimmage, the coach has an opportunity to put your kid in the position he wants to try. If he doesn’t think your kid can handle it, in practice he can stop play and explain to him why and what he needs to work on. If a coach can’t do this, look for a coach who is better for your child’s development.

I don’t think it is realistic to expect a coach to put a 15yo club player in a brand new position with no experience. It seems entitled. Discussing ways to improve at a certain position, vs I want to play here, is a completely different approach. So sure, have the conversation mid season but don’t expect a lot to change when the athlete hasn’t had a chance to do the work. I suggested end of season because most coaches have some sort of debriefing conversation or evaluation. Mid season is also fine, but interrupting practice isn’t a great idea, and neither is before or after practice imo. Ask for a convenient time to schedule a conversation rather than just catching coach on the run.

If a kid really wants to try and he’s capable, why not? There is plenty of time at practice, if not in a game. There may even be time in a game. Sometimes there is a situation where it can happen in a game.