What kind of retirement do you want?

[Anonymous]

My current SFH will be prefect for retirement. In DMV, lots of jobs around so probably my kids will remain local, hemmed by state parks and other amenities (shopping, culture, trails, hospitals), schools are bad so not too many small kids in our neighborhood.

Main floor has a formal dining and sitting room that can be converted to a bedroom and bathroom (incase we cannot go up and down the stairs). I think we will retire in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My current SFH will be prefect for retirement. In DMV, lots of jobs around so probably my kids will remain local, hemmed by state parks and other amenities (shopping, culture, trails, hospitals), schools are bad so not too many small kids in our neighborhood.

Main floor has a formal dining and sitting room that can be converted to a bedroom and bathroom (incase we cannot go up and down the stairs). I think we will retire in place.

Mostly, we want to remain healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, this post is a list of young people desires. Guess what: when you retire you will:
1. be much more likely to live near your kids/grandkids
2. have health limitations that make urban living and walkability a challenge
3. still have life obligations if you have other humans in your life
How shitty OP to say joining up with other old people, preparing to die
It reads like such a selfish point of view like your entire retirement is a personal vacation. I'm so thankful instead that my mom was near us and in our kids' daily lives. And now that she has to move into a senior living facility, yeah I guess she is preparing to die. No need to actually bother living in the meantime I guess.
I'm 51 with two young kids. My sister is 49 with two teenagers. We have had my mom in our lives every day for the last 15 years because she moved to DC to be near us when we had children. And now as I'm getting near retirement age, I'm taking care of my mom every day. I can pretty much guarantee that my own retirement isn't going to involve a lot of self-indulgence or a nonstop vacation. It may suck but it is reality. Sure, I'd love go to live in Paris in the Marais, but I'm not leaving my mom to die alone and also planning to be around for my kids.

I wrote the above from a deep hole of misery in the midst of moving my mom into senior living after 6 months of my mom's major depression/anxiety that I was seriously scared would kill her because no treatment seemed to help. My mom is now 3 weeks in to living in a Senior independent living community - Brightview (many locations in DC/Baltimore/Annapolis metro area). I am happy to say that her new living situation seems to have been a turning point...she is literally hungry for first time in 6 months and it's like a black curtain has raised. Brightview has been amazing for her - she gets breakfast and dinner daily (in a social dining room setting) plus daily activities all day long. She now lives 5 minutes away from us and is going to daily exercise classes, book club meetings, learning to crochet and taking yoga/meditation classes. Her building is beautiful and new, with a ton of common areas like a lounge with a fireplace, a gym, a library/coffee shop, and a movie theater. So now: My new goal is to save enough for retirement to be able to live in a place like this when I really need it. It's not cheap (honestly probably 90% of her monthly income) but it has everything she needs. If she needs assisted living, it's offered, and we have long-term care insurance to help out at that point. But she has a social network and support and no longer has to feel like she's a total burden on us. For whatever reason, my sisters and I never were able to break through her depression, but somehow having social interaction outside of us taking care of her seems like it is doing wonders. So...no fun to have to worry about your life in your declining years, but be sure to plan for that part, too. My eyes are definitely open to how much income is needed for this...and how important it is to save for this stage.

Last thing on saving...I think so many people think of investing until they retire and then cashing in, but it is still so important to invest while you are retired also, so you still have a nest egg growing and can afford supportive communities when you need them, which might not happen until 20 or 30 years after you retire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, this post is a list of young people desires. Guess what: when you retire you will:
1. be much more likely to live near your kids/grandkids
2. have health limitations that make urban living and walkability a challenge
3. still have life obligations if you have other humans in your life
How shitty OP to say joining up with other old people, preparing to die
It reads like such a selfish point of view like your entire retirement is a personal vacation. I'm so thankful instead that my mom was near us and in our kids' daily lives. And now that she has to move into a senior living facility, yeah I guess she is preparing to die. No need to actually bother living in the meantime I guess.
I'm 51 with two young kids. My sister is 49 with two teenagers. We have had my mom in our lives every day for the last 15 years because she moved to DC to be near us when we had children. And now as I'm getting near retirement age, I'm taking care of my mom every day. I can pretty much guarantee that my own retirement isn't going to involve a lot of self-indulgence or a nonstop vacation. It may suck but it is reality. Sure, I'd love go to live in Paris in the Marais, but I'm not leaving my mom to die alone and also planning to be around for my kids.

I would guess a few of us on this Board don’t have living parents. I would also guess plenty of posters have the means to take trips to visit their kids as much as both parties want, and potentially even have a second home near their kids. Many people work hard their whole lives. There should be no shame in enjoying retirement. For heavens sake, I wish my parents had spent more of their money traveling and enjoying life before passing. I wish they had enjoyed life so much that they left me nothing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My current SFH will be prefect for retirement. In DMV, lots of jobs around so probably my kids will remain local, hemmed by state parks and other amenities (shopping, culture, trails, hospitals), schools are bad so not too many small kids in our neighborhood.

Main floor has a formal dining and sitting room that can be converted to a bedroom and bathroom (incase we cannot go up and down the stairs). I think we will retire in place.

With the exception of location, our current house is perfect for retirement in that we can easily do one floor living. However, as soon as we retire we are out of the DMV. Can't wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, this post is a list of young people desires. Guess what: when you retire you will:
1. be much more likely to live near your kids/grandkids
2. have health limitations that make urban living and walkability a challenge
3. still have life obligations if you have other humans in your life
How shitty OP to say joining up with other old people, preparing to die
It reads like such a selfish point of view like your entire retirement is a personal vacation. I'm so thankful instead that my mom was near us and in our kids' daily lives. And now that she has to move into a senior living facility, yeah I guess she is preparing to die. No need to actually bother living in the meantime I guess.
I'm 51 with two young kids. My sister is 49 with two teenagers. We have had my mom in our lives every day for the last 15 years because she moved to DC to be near us when we had children. And now as I'm getting near retirement age, I'm taking care of my mom every day. I can pretty much guarantee that my own retirement isn't going to involve a lot of self-indulgence or a nonstop vacation. It may suck but it is reality. Sure, I'd love go to live in Paris in the Marais, but I'm not leaving my mom to die alone and also planning to be around for my kids.

I wrote the above from a deep hole of misery in the midst of moving my mom into senior living after 6 months of my mom's major depression/anxiety that I was seriously scared would kill her because no treatment seemed to help. My mom is now 3 weeks in to living in a Senior independent living community - Brightview (many locations in DC/Baltimore/Annapolis metro area). I am happy to say that her new living situation seems to have been a turning point...she is literally hungry for first time in 6 months and it's like a black curtain has raised. Brightview has been amazing for her - she gets breakfast and dinner daily (in a social dining room setting) plus daily activities all day long. She now lives 5 minutes away from us and is going to daily exercise classes, book club meetings, learning to crochet and taking yoga/meditation classes. Her building is beautiful and new, with a ton of common areas like a lounge with a fireplace, a gym, a library/coffee shop, and a movie theater. So now: My new goal is to save enough for retirement to be able to live in a place like this when I really need it. It's not cheap (honestly probably 90% of her monthly income) but it has everything she needs. If she needs assisted living, it's offered, and we have long-term care insurance to help out at that point. But she has a social network and support and no longer has to feel like she's a total burden on us. For whatever reason, my sisters and I never were able to break through her depression, but somehow having social interaction outside of us taking care of her seems like it is doing wonders. So...no fun to have to worry about your life in your declining years, but be sure to plan for that part, too. My eyes are definitely open to how much income is needed for this...and how important it is to save for this stage.

Last thing on saving...I think so many people think of investing until they retire and then cashing in, but it is still so important to invest while you are retired also, so you still have a nest egg growing and can afford supportive communities when you need them, which might not happen until 20 or 30 years after you retire.

What a lovely update. I am so glad your mother is doing better. Social interaction is so important for the elderly, no wonder her depression has listed. With all those activities I bet her quality of life has greatly improved and that would hopefully be a great weight off your mind.

I agree about the investing, none of it is cheap, which is why I am saving now, in case I need it.

[Anonymous]

PP here, sorry meant no wonder her depression has lifted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, this post is a list of young people desires. Guess what: when you retire you will:
1. be much more likely to live near your kids/grandkids
2. have health limitations that make urban living and walkability a challenge
3. still have life obligations if you have other humans in your life
How shitty OP to say joining up with other old people, preparing to die
It reads like such a selfish point of view like your entire retirement is a personal vacation. I'm so thankful instead that my mom was near us and in our kids' daily lives. And now that she has to move into a senior living facility, yeah I guess she is preparing to die. No need to actually bother living in the meantime I guess.
I'm 51 with two young kids. My sister is 49 with two teenagers. We have had my mom in our lives every day for the last 15 years because she moved to DC to be near us when we had children. And now as I'm getting near retirement age, I'm taking care of my mom every day. I can pretty much guarantee that my own retirement isn't going to involve a lot of self-indulgence or a nonstop vacation. It may suck but it is reality. Sure, I'd love go to live in Paris in the Marais, but I'm not leaving my mom to die alone and also planning to be around for my kids.

I wrote the above from a deep hole of misery in the midst of moving my mom into senior living after 6 months of my mom's major depression/anxiety that I was seriously scared would kill her because no treatment seemed to help. My mom is now 3 weeks in to living in a Senior independent living community - Brightview (many locations in DC/Baltimore/Annapolis metro area). I am happy to say that her new living situation seems to have been a turning point...she is literally hungry for first time in 6 months and it's like a black curtain has raised. Brightview has been amazing for her - she gets breakfast and dinner daily (in a social dining room setting) plus daily activities all day long. She now lives 5 minutes away from us and is going to daily exercise classes, book club meetings, learning to crochet and taking yoga/meditation classes. Her building is beautiful and new, with a ton of common areas like a lounge with a fireplace, a gym, a library/coffee shop, and a movie theater. So now: My new goal is to save enough for retirement to be able to live in a place like this when I really need it. It's not cheap (honestly probably 90% of her monthly income) but it has everything she needs. If she needs assisted living, it's offered, and we have long-term care insurance to help out at that point. But she has a social network and support and no longer has to feel like she's a total burden on us. For whatever reason, my sisters and I never were able to break through her depression, but somehow having social interaction outside of us taking care of her seems like it is doing wonders. So...no fun to have to worry about your life in your declining years, but be sure to plan for that part, too. My eyes are definitely open to how much income is needed for this...and how important it is to save for this stage.

Last thing on saving...I think so many people think of investing until they retire and then cashing in, but it is still so important to invest while you are retired also, so you still have a nest egg growing and can afford supportive communities when you need them, which might not happen until 20 or 30 years after you retire.

Can you give an idea of how much it's costing/how much one would need to save in order to afford a place like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely not The Villages

I agree. What a depressing place.

My SIL likes to point out that the Villages has the highest rate of STDs in the state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, this post is a list of young people desires. Guess what: when you retire you will:
1. be much more likely to live near your kids/grandkids
2. have health limitations that make urban living and walkability a challenge
3. still have life obligations if you have other humans in your life
How shitty OP to say joining up with other old people, preparing to die
It reads like such a selfish point of view like your entire retirement is a personal vacation. I'm so thankful instead that my mom was near us and in our kids' daily lives. And now that she has to move into a senior living facility, yeah I guess she is preparing to die. No need to actually bother living in the meantime I guess.
I'm 51 with two young kids. My sister is 49 with two teenagers. We have had my mom in our lives every day for the last 15 years because she moved to DC to be near us when we had children. And now as I'm getting near retirement age, I'm taking care of my mom every day. I can pretty much guarantee that my own retirement isn't going to involve a lot of self-indulgence or a nonstop vacation. It may suck but it is reality. Sure, I'd love go to live in Paris in the Marais, but I'm not leaving my mom to die alone and also planning to be around for my kids.

I wrote the above from a deep hole of misery in the midst of moving my mom into senior living after 6 months of my mom's major depression/anxiety that I was seriously scared would kill her because no treatment seemed to help. My mom is now 3 weeks in to living in a Senior independent living community - Brightview (many locations in DC/Baltimore/Annapolis metro area). I am happy to say that her new living situation seems to have been a turning point...she is literally hungry for first time in 6 months and it's like a black curtain has raised. Brightview has been amazing for her - she gets breakfast and dinner daily (in a social dining room setting) plus daily activities all day long. She now lives 5 minutes away from us and is going to daily exercise classes, book club meetings, learning to crochet and taking yoga/meditation classes. Her building is beautiful and new, with a ton of common areas like a lounge with a fireplace, a gym, a library/coffee shop, and a movie theater. So now: My new goal is to save enough for retirement to be able to live in a place like this when I really need it. It's not cheap (honestly probably 90% of her monthly income) but it has everything she needs. If she needs assisted living, it's offered, and we have long-term care insurance to help out at that point. But she has a social network and support and no longer has to feel like she's a total burden on us. For whatever reason, my sisters and I never were able to break through her depression, but somehow having social interaction outside of us taking care of her seems like it is doing wonders. So...no fun to have to worry about your life in your declining years, but be sure to plan for that part, too. My eyes are definitely open to how much income is needed for this...and how important it is to save for this stage.

Last thing on saving...I think so many people think of investing until they retire and then cashing in, but it is still so important to invest while you are retired also, so you still have a nest egg growing and can afford supportive communities when you need them, which might not happen until 20 or 30 years after you retire.

Can you give an idea of how much it's costing/how much one would need to save in order to afford a place like this?

+1. It's not shown on their website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I am fifty and when I retire I am moving into an apt either in downtown D.C. or NYC. I want culture, good food, and walkability.

+1. I am 44. I plan to do the same as you...sell my house, invest the proceeds and rent in a city...likely DC or at least Arlington. I hate suburban life...that is for the kids...not for me.

Arlington is very much a suburb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love to move back to Manhattan or west side of LA.

Wow surprised to see so many more people here that want to retire in a city.... I thought I was the outlier!

Think this has been the trend in some circles for awhile.First heard about it forty years ago when in mid-20s in NYC when a friend's parents sold their LI house and bought an apartment in the city (believe it or not, better taxes).

DH and I discuss this a fair amount. I really want to live where I can walk to the grocery, to restaurants, etc. even if this is a weekend house. He has become increasingly open to this (well, we already live that way), especially as he now sees the challenges with his parents who downsized to a more isolated community.

There are some things that are appealing about retirement communities, but I don't necessarily envision that when I am still pretty active. My mom resided in a memory care unit for her last four years and it was a real godsend for her. She liked being around others - much less isolating than living on her own, even if she saw her family, neighbors, etc - and enjoyed the AM/PM activities, even if she simply observed them in her last couple of years.

GL to everyone here trying to make sense of next steps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I am fifty and when I retire I am moving into an apt either in downtown D.C. or NYC. I want culture, good food, and walkability.

+1. I am 44. I plan to do the same as you...sell my house, invest the proceeds and rent in a city...likely DC or at least Arlington. I hate suburban life...that is for the kids...not for me.

Arlington is very much a suburb.

There are many walkable areas of Arlingon - also served by Metro and buses. Inner suburbs are not always terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to spend my retirement seeing my grandchildren grow. I’ll be that grandma at everything.

Can’t wait for little league again.

I’m gonna get a place at the beach too and invite friends/family/nieces/nephews to come visit or stay without me there.

I’ll volunteer.

When I get too old to card for my house I’ll go to an over 55 community so I’m not a burden to my children.

How old are you? DH tells our just in college kids that he will babysit for them, even every day if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My current SFH will be prefect for retirement. In DMV, lots of jobs around so probably my kids will remain local, hemmed by state parks and other amenities (shopping, culture, trails, hospitals), schools are bad so not too many small kids in our neighborhood.

Main floor has a formal dining and sitting room that can be converted to a bedroom and bathroom (incase we cannot go up and down the stairs). I think we will retire in place.

With the exception of location, our current house is perfect for retirement in that we can easily do one floor living. However, as soon as we retire we are out of the DMV. Can't wait.

Where will you go?