Best mainstream privates for kids with mild learning support needs

[Anonymous]

The parents hands off approach is toxic for SN students. You can even find this in SN schools, and it always hurts the students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents hands off approach is toxic for SN students. You can even find this in SN schools, and it always hurts the students.

+1 we never got valuable academic feedback in the qualitative ES report cards. The first few years the teachers would merely ask first what we thought about how things were going, then say a bunch of positive things about how everyone gets along, and then close by saying kid is doing well versus national averages (wtf are those, can’t be high...).

Then we’d ask a few questions like if the kid can sit still in the chair, writes the bare minimum, gives up a lot.... like he does at home.... and the teacher would say, Oh, yes, that happens.

It took a brand new teacher in year 4 to give actual real feedback that was so, so helpful for us and the pediatrician in comparing behavior at home versus school. It was consistent.

[Anonymous]

I think following your gut is really important

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents hands off approach is toxic for SN students. You can even find this in SN schools, and it always hurts the students.

Yes. But many parents pay so that they don’t have to be involved. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents hands off approach is toxic for SN students. You can even find this in SN schools, and it always hurts the students.

Yes. But many parents pay so that they don’t have to be involved. Sad.

It’s called trust...in both your child and the institution you choose to educate them. I feel bad for the educators after reading these forums.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents hands off approach is toxic for SN students. You can even find this in SN schools, and it always hurts the students.

Yes. But many parents pay so that they don’t have to be involved. Sad.

It’s called trust...in both your child and the institution you choose to educate them. I feel bad for the educators after reading these forums.

No. It’s called partnership. At least that’s what our school calls it.

[Anonymous]

The wrong school will counsel you out after admissions season is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents hands off approach is toxic for SN students. You can even find this in SN schools, and it always hurts the students.

Yes. But many parents pay so that they don’t have to be involved. Sad.

It’s called trust...in both your child and the institution you choose to educate them. I feel bad for the educators after reading these forums.

that doesn’t work for SN kids.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It’s impossible to say without you describing her needs in more detail. I can’t tell if you’re just a hyper-protective mom for whom being clumsy is a “delay,” or if your child actually has delays. Speech, fine, and gross motor delays all together actually sounds like they could be fairly significant needs and you’d be better off in public with an IEP.

OP here:

Fair question. This is definitely not just me being a hyper-protective mom, though I'd say it's hard to assess long-term need because DD has made significant progress in the past couple years. She started therapy through DC"s early intervention program at age 1 after hypotonia diagnosis. She didn't walk until 22 months. Delayed expressive but not receptive language. Diagnosed with growth hormone deficiency at age 3. Through speech, OT, and PT, she has made great progress over past couple years, and the growth hormone injections have helped with her strength, too. She qualifies for an IEP through DCPS but we've sent her to a private pre-school that provides small classes and hands-on attention, which she's thrived in.

She is now 4, so we are looking at Kindergarten programs. I find it hard to judge the significance of her future needs because of her positive trajectory. I don't think this is just me looking through rose-colored glasses or wishing for an alternate reality but I don't want to be naive and suggest she definitely won't need any real supports, either.

Developmental pediatrician has suggested she could do ok in mainstream private school, with private therapy in place as needed.

Thanks for your input.

Thank you for the further information! Based on what you wrote, I really do think you should at least consider a DCPS with a strong IEP for K. Here's why: in addition to the OT, speech, and push-in you would hopefully get in your IEP, many/most DCPS schools have a very strong K curriculum that is really focused on teaching writing and reading fundamentals. They do a LOT of practice laying the groundwork to form letters, phonics, etc, for all kids. They have very clear goals for ELA. What this meant for my DS with severe fine motor skills (fine motor skills of a 14 month old baby at 4 years old, per the assessment - I didn't actually believe that, but it was bad!) is that in addition to the focused support, he got a TON of practice in methods that are designed to teach young kids from all backgrounds how to read and write. It really worked for him.

In contrast, from what I know about privates and some charters, K and 1st are much less focused and still revolved around being play based, etc, and they take more of the attitude of "oh, our kids will learn to read and write, we don't have to worry about it!" Which, fine, may work for some kids. But would not have worked for my kid, and likely not your kid either.

Another hint - we ended up getting a strong IEP for K from the DCPS Central private school section because we were entering our IB K from a private preschool. It seems much easier to deal with them then to have to go through the school. So you're in a good position to do that as well.

Our first IEP was 2.5 hours of push-in per week, plus 60 mins of OT per week. The special ed teacher often pushed in during writing instruction. What this amounted do was an average of 45 mins/day spent with 1:1 help on his writing. What was really great though was that the whole team also supported him developing his writing skills, so for example the art teacher would encourage him and not let him just do nothing, etc. DCPS also has an aid assigned to each K class, and the aid would give him some additional encouragement. (My DS's issue was that writing was hard, so he would just opt to do nothing unless someone encouraged him to get started.)

It's possible you could find the same level of support at a private, but I really think the combination of support PLUS curriculum was what got our DS off to a really great start. He has now aged out of his IEP (3rd grade) and we are letting it lapse for now.

The problem is this is in no way typical unless you have a child really in need. You really lucked up!

NP- it's not luck, it's based on evaluations done in school that are not available to private school students. The PP clearly described that their student qualified and then listed the services provided per the IEP, which is a process triggered by school administered test results. If your DC does not meet the evaluative criteria, then no services. It's that simple. No luck involved in public. Private on the other hand can do whatever they want.

I’ve heard more horror stories coming out of public schools with parents fighting to get their kids evaluated, fighting for services, etc. it shouldn’t be that way but sometimes it is, regardless of merit.

And why would it be any better in a "mainstream private" where they openly discriminate against kids with disabilities? Yes, you do have to be a strong advocate for your kid, but OP already knows that. That's why she's here asking these questions.

Some. Not all. And rarely is it “open.”

come on. how many area mainstream privates would even consider my DS with HFA? He doesn’t even need academic support but is visibly different. Very few.

I suspect that there are more than you think. There was a girl at Sidwell a few years ago that openly acknowledged her childhood ASD diagnosis. There is a boy in the GDS lower school who is on the spectrum. It all depends on the individual’s and the specific class profile. I didn’t say there were a to , just that there are some.

sure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents hands off approach is toxic for SN students. You can even find this in SN schools, and it always hurts the students.

+1 we never got valuable academic feedback in the qualitative ES report cards. The first few years the teachers would merely ask first what we thought about how things were going, then say a bunch of positive things about how everyone gets along, and then close by saying kid is doing well versus national averages (wtf are those, can’t be high...).

Then we’d ask a few questions like if the kid can sit still in the chair, writes the bare minimum, gives up a lot.... like he does at home.... and the teacher would say, Oh, yes, that happens.

It took a brand new teacher in year 4 to give actual real feedback that was so, so helpful for us and the pediatrician in comparing behavior at home versus school. It was consistent.

the same thing can happen in public schools too, unfortunately. that’s one use of the IEP - to set actual goals that can be monitored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents hands off approach is toxic for SN students. You can even find this in SN schools, and it always hurts the students.

Yes. But many parents pay so that they don’t have to be involved. Sad.

It’s called trust...in both your child and the institution you choose to educate them. I feel bad for the educators after reading these forums.

A fluff report card isn’t serving anyone well. Especially if earlier interaction can help on the anxiety, exec functioning, or remedial tutoring side.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:AHC (Academy Of The Holy Cross) has a wonderful program.

Many religious schools are inclusive although some programs are far better than others. And they aren’t required to be inclusive.

Seems a lot of these programs are in Catholic schools.

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I know. They are not required to be inclusive, yet some choose to be an do it well. St Mary’s in Alexandria recently broadened its student body.
https://www.smsva.org/teaching-learning/learning-center

Nice to see a school walk the talk of being welcoming and inclusive rather than just being all talk.

If you want inclusive, why not go to public? Independent schools have no duty moral or otherwise to be inclusive. Many are simply unable because they lack the resources for SN.
There are some SN kids in my DS's school and the school does not have the resources to give them the extra help they need. Some will probably be counseled out in the coming years.

[Anonymous]

Wouldn't really recommend private in this case. It can be heartbreaking as most schools can't really accommodate SN in a meaningful way. The kids tend to get counseled out. Not sure that it's worth it.

[Anonymous]

Because the schools say they are inclusive. Why don’t they just say upfront that they don’t take kids with SN?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AHC (Academy Of The Holy Cross) has a wonderful program.

Many religious schools are inclusive although some programs are far better than others. And they aren’t required to be inclusive.

Seems a lot of these programs are in Catholic schools.

.

I know. They are not required to be inclusive, yet some choose to be an do it well. St Mary’s in Alexandria recently broadened its student body.
https://www.smsva.org/teaching-learning/learning-center

Nice to see a school walk the talk of being welcoming and inclusive rather than just being all talk.

If you want inclusive, why not go to public? Independent schools have no duty moral or otherwise to be inclusive. Many are simply unable because they lack the resources for SN.
There are some SN kids in my DS's school and the school does not have the resources to give them the extra help they need. Some will probably be counseled out in the coming years.

Actually, private schools are public accommodations subject to the ADA and other civil rights laws. They can’t just reject kids with disabilities (although they get away with it).