Any INFJ personality type here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, INFJ. I was a teacher for many years. I enjoyed many aspects about it, was a good teacher, but always knew I was in the wrong field- teaching is very intrusive- you are "on" al day, no time to regroup, always have to present a facade, no private time, exhausting emotionally. Plus, in order to be a team player and play the game, there's a lot of sucking up and alliance with fad programs and ideas. INFJs can't stand fake anything.,

What I should have been was a journalist, writer, or lawyer- such as an immigration lawyer, or similar, not a criminal or a lot of time in the court room

I am an introvert- but I am social. I like small groups, love my friends and family. My antennae, though, can pick up a liar, or someone's true intentions within seconds. I can tell a lot about a person in first impressions.

Exactly. INFJ can't make up their mind for anything. Their love of learning and taking an interest in all subjects makes them undecided and further procrastinates what career they could really be happy in. I am an intelligence analyst but still seeking purpose. It doesn't help that this area is so expensive and learning a new subject to make a career of can take a longer time. I have loved reading and writing since I was 4 yrs old though. In my late 30s I feel I could be too old for another career that isn't in demand or has purpose.

My God, you have just described me. I’m a former intelligence analyst, now SAHM. Incredible similarities.
DP

+1 You totally nailed it. I'm a married SAHM but I was in advertising/social media and hated all the fakery and self-importance. I would love to become a researcher or writer but feel like I'm too far into my career to completely start over. I'm very shy/reserved when I first meet people but if I get a good feeling off of them, I open up and am very warm. Over the years, people have often "joked" that, at first, they thought I was a bitch and how shocked they were that I'm actually a nice person. As for romantic relationships, I was definitely a late bloomer and sort of had to force myself out of my shell to actually go on dates.

PP here - yes! I remember in high school, a good friend told me that before we got to know each other, she had thought I was such a snob - because I was aloof and fairly quiet. I’ve always remembered that and been cognizant of not appearing that way. I actually wasn’t a snob at all, just shy until I got to know someone. Knowing that about myself has helped me be more proactive in social situations - I don’t want people thinking I’m a snob!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any other INFJs who can be hot headed?

I have been dealing with anger issues the last few years and it’s so weird for me because that’s not historically been a part of my personality. I wonder if part of it is that I was depressed for many years but have been working hard to disrupt my depressive thinking patterns. I’ve heard depression described as “anger turned inwards.” Sometimes I wonder if my recent anger has been there all along, but now it’s turned outwards.

I do sometimes feel ruled by my emotions. That’s why the anger is so stressful to me. I have tried meditation and mindfulness to try and find ways to detach and observe it, then let it go. But it never quite goes. I wish I could figure out how to master it.

Would love any insight from any other INFJs who have experienced similar.

I used to be when I was younger, but it may have more to do with my not having an outlet for some trauma-based things specific for me. And, I'm not a hot head all the time. For me, it builds and builds, but then that one dumb inconsequential thing will open up the flood gates.
And then I'm always really sad and mad at myself for being angry.

+1
I finally tried Prozac and it has been a life-changer.
DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, INFJ. I was a teacher for many years. I enjoyed many aspects about it, was a good teacher, but always knew I was in the wrong field- teaching is very intrusive- you are "on" al day, no time to regroup, always have to present a facade, no private time, exhausting emotionally. Plus, in order to be a team player and play the game, there's a lot of sucking up and alliance with fad programs and ideas. INFJs can't stand fake anything.,

What I should have been was a journalist, writer, or lawyer- such as an immigration lawyer, or similar, not a criminal or a lot of time in the court room

I am an introvert- but I am social. I like small groups, love my friends and family. My antennae, though, can pick up a liar, or someone's true intentions within seconds. I can tell a lot about a person in first impressions.

Exactly. INFJ can't make up their mind for anything. Their love of learning and taking an interest in all subjects makes them undecided and further procrastinates what career they could really be happy in. I am an intelligence analyst but still seeking purpose. It doesn't help that this area is so expensive and learning a new subject to make a career of can take a longer time. I have loved reading and writing since I was 4 yrs old though. In my late 30s I feel I could be too old for another career that isn't in demand or has purpose.

My God, you have just described me. I’m a former intelligence analyst, now SAHM. Incredible similarities.
DP

+1 You totally nailed it. I'm a married SAHM but I was in advertising/social media and hated all the fakery and self-importance. I would love to become a researcher or writer but feel like I'm too far into my career to completely start over. I'm very shy/reserved when I first meet people but if I get a good feeling off of them, I open up and am very warm. Over the years, people have often "joked" that, at first, they thought I was a bitch and how shocked they were that I'm actually a nice person. As for romantic relationships, I was definitely a late bloomer and sort of had to force myself out of my shell to actually go on dates.

PP here - yes! I remember in high school, a good friend told me that before we got to know each other, she had thought I was such a snob - because I was aloof and fairly quiet. I’ve always remembered that and been cognizant of not appearing that way. I actually wasn’t a snob at all, just shy until I got to know someone. Knowing that about myself has helped me be more proactive in social situations - I don’t want people thinking I’m a snob!

PP here-- I found this so frustrating bc inside I was just terribly shy and uncertain of myself but apparently giving off major confidence and aloof vibes. I once had a guy tell my friend he had a crush on me bc he found me "mysterious " but really I was just too shy to talk to him. The only thing I can think of as to why I appeared this way was I was never shy or quiet when it came to talking in class or about work; I was just shy in social situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any other INFJs who can be hot headed?

I have been dealing with anger issues the last few years and it’s so weird for me because that’s not historically been a part of my personality. I wonder if part of it is that I was depressed for many years but have been working hard to disrupt my depressive thinking patterns. I’ve heard depression described as “anger turned inwards.” Sometimes I wonder if my recent anger has been there all along, but now it’s turned outwards.

I do sometimes feel ruled by my emotions. That’s why the anger is so stressful to me. I have tried meditation and mindfulness to try and find ways to detach and observe it, then let it go. But it never quite goes. I wish I could figure out how to master it.

Would love any insight from any other INFJs who have experienced similar.

Yes absolutely. Part of it comes from feeling everything intensely and I'm learning how to self-regulate. I often get angry about what I perceive as an injustice or an act of harm towards another person. Now that I'm a mom, I'm working really hard on channeling my emotions more productively so I can model better communication styles for my kids. We talk about how we feel and acknowledge our feelings about things rather than just flame out. I think a lot of it was my growing up in a household where I couldn't express myself and was overwhelmed much of the time.

I can walk in a room and feel so much, but I've learned to identify what I'm feeling, trust it, and communicate it rather than just let my system get overwhelmed. That being said, I still need to take breaks and recharge. I find that helps with depression and anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am, as an INFJ

Very intuitive. This doesn't mean that I can see the future, or have extra sensory perception. It means that I am super observational and see patterns quickly. I do sense a bad thing coming, though, but what that thing is isn't always clear. I have an enormous sense of dread.

I can size a person up very quickly. If they are fake, I know it.

I do have a lot of empathy, which exhausts me.

I need my alone time. Maybe even a nap to shut myself off.

I do care about first impressions, too much about my own. I am afraid of mistakes..which is why I'm not in the medical field. It would traumatize me to make a mistake and hurt someone. Also, I would worry about it constantly. I appreciate people who have the confidence to do those things.

I am not a big risk taker, but I'm not afraid of change. I like new things, creative things, but I'm not going to bungee jump or drop acid.

I overthink way too much.

I love art, abstract art, creative art, film, writing, books, music. Dark sense of humor.

I procrastinate, but (!) I will get it done. If it means all night the night before, it will be done. My procrastination is stupid. Really stupid.

I'm better at accepting criticism now. Nope, didn't like it when I was younger. Or now, but I'm older.

I'm organized. But, in a project, it won't look that way.

I can read a room in seconds.

I am up late. Every night. It's my time.

I want to read everything. The smart phone is the best and definitely the worst thing for me.

I live outside of organized groups- religion, clubs, cliques, career ladders. I find the sociology of people fascinating.

I love my family, very protective . It was hard to be an empty nester, but I did ok. I miss my family, though.

I love animals, and I "get" them. Even ones I don't like really...snakes, reptiles, fish.

I can feel fear in others. People who are angry are often fearful.

I am warm and open , but if someone reveals their true colors, I'm not going to engage further. And, that means I knew who they were before, but they had a chance to prove otherwise.

I am, however, a loyal friend.
I have a hard time holding up all the balls in friend relationships, especially when my kids were small, I was working, too much going on. Constantly beating myself up if I don't call or engage for a period of time. It's much easier now.

I'm doing ok in this pandemic. I miss everyone, things, but I can live with myself for a long time. Lots of stuff in my head. I am never bored.

I won't engage in open conflict. I will just shut the door.

Some people say this Myers Briggs is BS. I've found it to be helpful, actually, in many ways. Of course, there are exceptions to everything.

OH MY GOSH, you're me!!

Me too. Amazing. What do you both do for a career? Do you have very vivid dreams or psychic type of dreams or experiences?

Me too! Pretty spot on....and "I am warm and open , but if someone reveals their true colors, I'm not going to engage further. And, that means I knew who they were before, but they had a chance to prove otherwise." ......this speaks to me on a deeeeeeeeep level.

Often times, I will give people a chance who I instinctively know are not meant for me. But YIKES, once they pull their stuff out, I am out. I can't deal with people's aggressive or otherwise depleting energy.

NO - this is ME!!!

As warm and engaging as I am (truly), the moment I need to bail or get a whiff of something I'm not comfortable with, or if I need to go lay low, I'm OUT. I have a core of true blue friends but they know the real me. I feel like very few people get through to that level. I always give someone a chance. But I'm pretty taken aback at times at my ability to just cut and run.

[Anonymous]

Another INFJ- wonder if anyone can relate to this? I make friends super easily but often get tired of them or dismissive when I realize their true selves. I’ve seen the real sides of a lot of people during this pandemic and about 75% of my relationships have been very effected. There are many friends I used to enjoy which I have realized were bleeding me dry and never giving back. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another INFJ- wonder if anyone can relate to this? I make friends super easily but often get tired of them or dismissive when I realize their true selves. I’ve seen the real sides of a lot of people during this pandemic and about 75% of my relationships have been very effected. There are many friends I used to enjoy which I have realized were bleeding me dry and never giving back. Anyone else?

I do feel like I get into friendships where they take, take, take and never give in return. Recently, I've been able to dump a few of these people and I'm be glad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another INFJ- wonder if anyone can relate to this? I make friends super easily but often get tired of them or dismissive when I realize their true selves. I’ve seen the real sides of a lot of people during this pandemic and about 75% of my relationships have been very effected. There are many friends I used to enjoy which I have realized were bleeding me dry and never giving back. Anyone else?

I do feel like I get into friendships where they take, take, take and never give in return. Recently, I've been able to dump a few of these people and I'm be glad.

Can someone explain how an INFJ can make friends? I find it difficult to trust and be friend other people more so during this pandemic. I feel women especially are hyper competitive with who they date and what job they get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another INFJ- wonder if anyone can relate to this? I make friends super easily but often get tired of them or dismissive when I realize their true selves. I’ve seen the real sides of a lot of people during this pandemic and about 75% of my relationships have been very effected. There are many friends I used to enjoy which I have realized were bleeding me dry and never giving back. Anyone else?

I do feel like I get into friendships where they take, take, take and never give in return. Recently, I've been able to dump a few of these people and I'm be glad.

Can someone explain how an INFJ can make friends? I find it difficult to trust and be friend other people more so during this pandemic. I feel women especially are hyper competitive with who they date and what job they get.

I have major trust issues and would find it very difficult to date or make friends right now. I'm working through them but they stem from adolescence so it's a big issue.

[Anonymous]

I think the challenge re: friendships is that most who test as INFJ have some serious sincerity radar. I can whiff even slight insincerity from a mile away and I can't honor or engage with it, and that is challenging. The positive outcome is that I have a smaller group of friends who are amazing and sincere people. Negative outcome could be that I struggle to connect with just anyone, and it's hard to have more shallow friendships with people I wouldn't be able to connect with more deeply. I do think there's value in a greater numer of not-so-deep friendships, but just don't really have that in me.

[Anonymous]

INFJs are generally not hot-headed. How many exceptions can there be, just bcs some people want to think they are the "rarest" personality type in the world?
Which is a social construct. I can answer any question the way I want to think I am this type of something that suits me.
Who wants to admit they are the most common personality in the world? Which is also a construct.
Maybe today I am INFJ, but tomorrow I am INTJ?
When I read my horoscope it is uncanny how accurate they are! And every other person feels the same! Utter nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:INFJs are generally not hot-headed. How many exceptions can there be, just bcs some people want to think they are the "rarest" personality type in the world?
Which is a social construct. I can answer any question the way I want to think I am this type of something that suits me.
Who wants to admit they are the most common personality in the world? Which is also a construct.
Maybe today I am INFJ, but tomorrow I am INTJ?
When I read my horoscope it is uncanny how accurate they are! And every other person feels the same! Utter nonsense.

You sound jealous and immature. Being an INFJ is challenging and it's not a personality we chose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another INFJ- wonder if anyone can relate to this? I make friends super easily but often get tired of them or dismissive when I realize their true selves. I’ve seen the real sides of a lot of people during this pandemic and about 75% of my relationships have been very effected. There are many friends I used to enjoy which I have realized were bleeding me dry and never giving back. Anyone else?

I do feel like I get into friendships where they take, take, take and never give in return. Recently, I've been able to dump a few of these people and I'm be glad.

Can someone explain how an INFJ can make friends? I find it difficult to trust and be friend other people more so during this pandemic. I feel women especially are hyper competitive with who they date and what job they get.

I have major trust issues and would find it very difficult to date or make friends right now. I'm working through them but they stem from adolescence so it's a big issue.

What happened in adolescence?

I was brushed off because I was weird by kids of my race. The best girlfriend I had had a diplomat dad and they left the country and never spoke again. Friends turned out to be insincere and jealous.

[Anonymous]

I've enjoyed this! I am also INFJ, and relate to most everything people say.

I've been blaming everything (like my indecisiveness and procrastination) on my upbringing, but maybe it's my personality type. (Though I guess maybe my personality type comes from my upbringing!)

I'm also indecisive, very empathetic, very sensitive to anger in others (I have to stay away from certain people.) But I was raised by a family with a strong streak of personalities which are very angry and critical (and a bit narcissistic). This is the personality of my mom, her dad, and my younger brother. My mother also raised me to be kind of codependent with her, so my personality was squelched by her unpredictable anger.

I always want to make everyone happy, and am very sensitive as to what might do that. I am not good at standing up for myself, or taking care of what I want for myself. I'm not even very good at identifying what I want (separate from what others want.)

Yet, I also have strong opinions and am persistent about things I feel are right. Strong sense of justice.

I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up (at 53.)

I was a assistant director for a non profit, but am thinking of going back to school in social work. In my old job I did a lot of event management etc, but that's not a good match for me (especially since I've been a SAHM for longer than I intended, for various reasons) Anyway, program management and event planning is too much like being a SAHM. Running everything for other people.

I am also drawn to writing/journalism. When I was younger I wanted to be a naturalist, or the Jane Goodall of dolphins. I took a job match test a long time ago, and probably should have listened (the result was librarian, social worker or forest ranger. They all sound good to me.) My worry with social work is that it would be too draining, so I'm reassured to see other INFJ social workers/psychologist/counselors on here who seem happy with the choice.

I'm married to an extreme introvert with Aspergers, which isn't easy. (I think maybe having been raised by people who couldn't express feelings, I inadvertently chose that in a spouse) I'm also very loyal to friends. I have one close circle of elementary school friends and one small circle of college friends, and in both cases feel like I'm the one holding everyone together (instigating our gatherings)

[Anonymous]

I have tested as INFJ, INTJ, and ENFJ. I always assumed I was INTJ, since I gravitate toward STEM (and have a STEM PhD) and I've never identified as an extrovert.

Reading this thread, I think I probably am an INFJ...since a lot of the posts resonate.

I'm a woman, 2 kids, married to someone I met in grad school...I work in a strategy role in tech. Even though I really enjoyed being in a technical role (e.g. engineering manager), I just felt it limited me from using my technical knowledge to do something valuable. I also spend a lot of my time volunteering. I especially love helping people feel empowered.