Anyone else disillusioned with the whole process?

[Anonymous]

I wholeheartedly agree, OP. When I visited the various schools and none could address my questions regarding differentiation I left feeling extremely dismayed. I don’t feel that my child’s needs will be met and I don’t want her lumped in or subject to the other peer pressure issues at such a young age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wholeheartedly agree, OP. When I visited the various schools and none could address my questions regarding differentiation I left feeling extremely dismayed. I don’t feel that my child’s needs will be met and I don’t want her lumped in or subject to the other peer pressure issues at such a young age.

DCPS has made a choice not to do much differentiation or tracking. I think that's a fundamentally short-sighted decision, as it is a strong force acting to push the best kids out of the system.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if DCPS will eventually kill the dream everyone has that neighborhoods like park view and petworth and columbia heights will be great for families

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, leave the district. I am black as well and I am just not playing with these odds. Go to Silver Spring, which will work for both of your commutes. Send your child to an ES like Flora Singer and then Blair HS, or by then, you may have enough equity to move to Bethesda or something.

I truly feel like it isn't worth it for me to chance these schools with my child. Let the white people figure it out and fix it for their kids. I just cannot experiment with my brown baby.

OP here. I hate the idea of doing this because I so want to be one of the middle class brown faces that stays in the city. But, it really doesn't leave a lot of options for our babies. I agree--my DC will not be the experiment.

I had to think long and hard about why I wanted to stay and so many of the reasons were about me. Wanting a 15 min shorter commute, feeling like I was a hipper city person etc. what was best for my kid? A quieter street in the burbs where we play outside and the school is filled with other middle class families doing the same thing as us. There are some lower income families too, but the differentiation and opportunities are just leaps and bounds better than DCPS. And I’m not knocking those who stay, especially the white people, because outcomes for their kids are just statistically better. I had to do what I needed to do for the best shot for my black child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am feeling a bit disillusioned this week. We love our school, and are happy to stay with an inbounds DCPS. I know all families are different, and make different choices, but watching families leave year-after-year is just really disheartening. I know my kid is getting a great education, and I am confident in that part of my choice. But watching the rotating door of friends/family/community is just... depressing.

Is this just the way DC schools are? Or only EOTP DCPS?

I'm taking this into account in decisions this year. We are happy at Title I. But I assume I would feel disillusioned, as you do, in a couple years. Still a tough choice for us, as we are considering a really tough commute instead. Pros and cons each way. We all make the best choices we can.

.

So you stay in DC for the great work commute...then have a long commute to your kid’s school? No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, leave the district. I am black as well and I am just not playing with these odds. Go to Silver Spring, which will work for both of your commutes. Send your child to an ES like Flora Singer and then Blair HS, or by then, you may have enough equity to move to Bethesda or something.

I truly feel like it isn't worth it for me to chance these schools with my child. Let the white people figure it out and fix it for their kids. I just cannot experiment with my brown baby.

OP here. I hate the idea of doing this because I so want to be one of the middle class brown faces that stays in the city. But, it really doesn't leave a lot of options for our babies. I agree--my DC will not be the experiment.

I had to think long and hard about why I wanted to stay and so many of the reasons were about me. Wanting a 15 min shorter commute, feeling like I was a hipper city person etc. what was best for my kid? A quieter street in the burbs where we play outside and the school is filled with other middle class families doing the same thing as us. There are some lower income families too, but the differentiation and opportunities are just leaps and bounds better than DCPS. And I’m not knocking those who stay, especially the white people, because outcomes for their kids are just statistically better. I had to do what I needed to do for the best shot for my black child.

NP here and I have many of the same reasons (though I’ve never been hip )...We’re choosing to stay for now (kids are in upper and early elementary). At one point we targeted a few suburban schools, but were not impressed with the performance for black children, especially considering the demographics. We wondered if we were just setting ourselves up for a different battle. We thought briefly about moving even further out, but I was a latch key kid in the burbs whose parents had long commutes...it’s just not a lifestyle I want for my family if I have the choice.

We were lucky to land in a DCPS that does emphasize differentiation and has provided some amazing opportunities. This tends to be principal-specific from my observation (leadership at our first school was a dud). There are some gems out there, but I don’t blame anyone who wants to bail on this system. We have to do what’s best for our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess maybe there are different ideas of what middle class or black middle class means. But, that is probably serveral different threads for that topic.
Most middle class and upper middle class African American families want progressive schools geared towards sending kids to good high schools and colleges.

OP here, I literally thought the same thing. I’m a AA middle class family and I wouldn’t send my kids to KIPP or DC Prep because of their approach to education. Lots of stereotypes being made here ?

What do you find troubling about the approach to education at KIPP and DC Prep?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess maybe there are different ideas of what middle class or black middle class means. But, that is probably serveral different threads for that topic.
Most middle class and upper middle class African American families want progressive schools geared towards sending kids to good high schools and colleges.

OP here, I literally thought the same thing. I’m a AA middle class family and I wouldn’t send my kids to KIPP or DC Prep because of their approach to education. Lots of stereotypes being made here ?

What do you find troubling about the approach to education at KIPP and DC Prep?

it's drill and kill period. By the end of middle school all positive gains are gone plus the approach is not practical at the high school level at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, leave the district. I am black as well and I am just not playing with these odds. Go to Silver Spring, which will work for both of your commutes. Send your child to an ES like Flora Singer and then Blair HS, or by then, you may have enough equity to move to Bethesda or something.

I truly feel like it isn't worth it for me to chance these schools with my child. Let the white people figure it out and fix it for their kids. I just cannot experiment with my brown baby.

OP here. I hate the idea of doing this because I so want to be one of the middle class brown faces that stays in the city. But, it really doesn't leave a lot of options for our babies. I agree--my DC will not be the experiment.

I had to think long and hard about why I wanted to stay and so many of the reasons were about me. Wanting a 15 min shorter commute, feeling like I was a hipper city person etc. what was best for my kid? A quieter street in the burbs where we play outside and the school is filled with other middle class families doing the same thing as us. There are some lower income families too, but the differentiation and opportunities are just leaps and bounds better than DCPS. And I’m not knocking those who stay, especially the white people, because outcomes for their kids are just statistically better. I had to do what I needed to do for the best shot for my black child.

What could DCPS do to keep you? What would they need to change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, leave the district. I am black as well and I am just not playing with these odds. Go to Silver Spring, which will work for both of your commutes. Send your child to an ES like Flora Singer and then Blair HS, or by then, you may have enough equity to move to Bethesda or something.

I truly feel like it isn't worth it for me to chance these schools with my child. Let the white people figure it out and fix it for their kids. I just cannot experiment with my brown baby.

OP here. I hate the idea of doing this because I so want to be one of the middle class brown faces that stays in the city. But, it really doesn't leave a lot of options for our babies. I agree--my DC will not be the experiment.

I had to think long and hard about why I wanted to stay and so many of the reasons were about me. Wanting a 15 min shorter commute, feeling like I was a hipper city person etc. what was best for my kid? A quieter street in the burbs where we play outside and the school is filled with other middle class families doing the same thing as us. There are some lower income families too, but the differentiation and opportunities are just leaps and bounds better than DCPS. And I’m not knocking those who stay, especially the white people, because outcomes for their kids are just statistically better. I had to do what I needed to do for the best shot for my black child.

What could DCPS do to keep you? What would they need to change?

Not OP, but I think DCPS is just not that attractive for black middle class families. I wish it weren't so. Some may luck into ITS or some other popular charter that has close to a critical mass of black middle class families. Others may lotto into Shepherd or Eaton or a couple other schools. If they're able to--and we're no longer talking middle-class, but upper middle class--they'll buy IB for these schools (my overall impression re: many UMC AA families is that many skip DCPS altogether, and go private or parochial).

One major factor, IMO, is that this city has a lot of fairly new-to-DC, highly educated, and fairly affluent white families who are often willing to try out gentrifying schools, and then there are a lot of AA families from multi-generational poverty that make up the bulk of the public school population. In schools with few middle class AA students, AA parents have legitimate concerns about peer influences and low expectations from teachers who may lump all black kids together and consider them a lost cause, or just have lower expectations for our kids. White families in these gentrifying schools will be largely insulated from these concerns, as it doesn't really affect their children to the same extent. It's just not worth it for many middle class AA families, and they may leave for Silver Spring/Bowie/Rockville/etc. after a while, if they didn't start out there in the first place.

I think there will continue to be a growing divide in the city, with middle class families of all stripes being squeezed out, unless there is a significant investment in affordable housing and in multi-family housing in a lot of the upper NW neighborhoods with attractive school options.

[Anonymous]

I AGREE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What could DCPS do to keep you? What would they need to change?

Not OP, but I think DCPS is just not that attractive for black middle class families. I wish it weren't so. Some may luck into ITS or some other popular charter that has close to a critical mass of black middle class families. Others may lotto into Shepherd or Eaton or a couple other schools. If they're able to--and we're no longer talking middle-class, but upper middle class--they'll buy IB for these schools (my overall impression re: many UMC AA families is that many skip DCPS altogether, and go private or parochial).

One major factor, IMO, is that this city has a lot of fairly new-to-DC, highly educated, and fairly affluent white families who are often willing to try out gentrifying schools, and then there are a lot of AA families from multi-generational poverty that make up the bulk of the public school population. In schools with few middle class AA students, AA parents have legitimate concerns about peer influences and low expectations from teachers who may lump all black kids together and consider them a lost cause, or just have lower expectations for our kids. White families in these gentrifying schools will be largely insulated from these concerns, as it doesn't really affect their children to the same extent. It's just not worth it for many middle class AA families, and they may leave for Silver Spring/Bowie/Rockville/etc. after a while, if they didn't start out there in the first place.

I think there will continue to be a growing divide in the city, with middle class families of all stripes being squeezed out, unless there is a significant investment in affordable housing and in multi-family housing in a lot of the upper NW neighborhoods with attractive school options.

Huh, very interesting, thanks. I can see how middle class white parents wouldn't have the same kind of worries.

Re: growing divide in the city, sadly I think it's almost too late. Ten or more years ago the city should have upzoned large swaths of wealthy areas AND invested more in affordable housing. The city does not have enough housing, and limited housing supply has caused demand to go through the roof, along with prices. DC is headed towards become a rich-only city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, leave the district. I am black as well and I am just not playing with these odds. Go to Silver Spring, which will work for both of your commutes. Send your child to an ES like Flora Singer and then Blair HS, or by then, you may have enough equity to move to Bethesda or something.

I truly feel like it isn't worth it for me to chance these schools with my child. Let the white people figure it out and fix it for their kids. I just cannot experiment with my brown baby.

OP here. I hate the idea of doing this because I so want to be one of the middle class brown faces that stays in the city. But, it really doesn't leave a lot of options for our babies. I agree--my DC will not be the experiment.

I had to think long and hard about why I wanted to stay and so many of the reasons were about me. Wanting a 15 min shorter commute, feeling like I was a hipper city person etc. what was best for my kid? A quieter street in the burbs where we play outside and the school is filled with other middle class families doing the same thing as us. There are some lower income families too, but the differentiation and opportunities are just leaps and bounds better than DCPS. And I’m not knocking those who stay, especially the white people, because outcomes for their kids are just statistically better. I had to do what I needed to do for the best shot for my black child.

What could DCPS do to keep you? What would they need to change?

Not OP, but I think DCPS is just not that attractive for black middle class families. I wish it weren't so. Some may luck into ITS or some other popular charter that has close to a critical mass of black middle class families. Others may lotto into Shepherd or Eaton or a couple other schools. If they're able to--and we're no longer talking middle-class, but upper middle class--they'll buy IB for these schools (my overall impression re: many UMC AA families is that many skip DCPS altogether, and go private or parochial).

One major factor, IMO, is that this city has a lot of fairly new-to-DC, highly educated, and fairly affluent white families who are often willing to try out gentrifying schools, and then there are a lot of AA families from multi-generational poverty that make up the bulk of the public school population. In schools with few middle class AA students, AA parents have legitimate concerns about peer influences and low expectations from teachers who may lump all black kids together and consider them a lost cause, or just have lower expectations for our kids. White families in these gentrifying schools will be largely insulated from these concerns, as it doesn't really affect their children to the same extent. It's just not worth it for many middle class AA families, and they may leave for Silver Spring/Bowie/Rockville/etc. after a while, if they didn't start out there in the first place.

I think there will continue to be a growing divide in the city, with middle class families of all stripes being squeezed out, unless there is a significant investment in affordable housing and in multi-family housing in a lot of the upper NW neighborhoods with attractive school options.

I am not AA but have noticed a lot this as well and heard it many, many times from middle class AA friends who either left the city or never considered living here in the first place. I have also noticed the tension in schools as it seems almost like there aren't enough middle class AA families to go around because of these issues, so schools can tip quickly between being either majority AA and mostly poor, or majority white and mostly rich. Hard to maintain a balance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, leave the district. I am black as well and I am just not playing with these odds. Go to Silver Spring, which will work for both of your commutes. Send your child to an ES like Flora Singer and then Blair HS, or by then, you may have enough equity to move to Bethesda or something.

I truly feel like it isn't worth it for me to chance these schools with my child. Let the white people figure it out and fix it for their kids. I just cannot experiment with my brown baby.

OP here. I hate the idea of doing this because I so want to be one of the middle class brown faces that stays in the city. But, it really doesn't leave a lot of options for our babies. I agree--my DC will not be the experiment.

I had to think long and hard about why I wanted to stay and so many of the reasons were about me. Wanting a 15 min shorter commute, feeling like I was a hipper city person etc. what was best for my kid? A quieter street in the burbs where we play outside and the school is filled with other middle class families doing the same thing as us. There are some lower income families too, but the differentiation and opportunities are just leaps and bounds better than DCPS. And I’m not knocking those who stay, especially the white people, because outcomes for their kids are just statistically better. I had to do what I needed to do for the best shot for my black child.

What could DCPS do to keep you? What would they need to change?

Not OP, but I think DCPS is just not that attractive for black middle class families. I wish it weren't so. Some may luck into ITS or some other popular charter that has close to a critical mass of black middle class families. Others may lotto into Shepherd or Eaton or a couple other schools. If they're able to--and we're no longer talking middle-class, but upper middle class--they'll buy IB for these schools (my overall impression re: many UMC AA families is that many skip DCPS altogether, and go private or parochial).

One major factor, IMO, is that this city has a lot of fairly new-to-DC, highly educated, and fairly affluent white families who are often willing to try out gentrifying schools, and then there are a lot of AA families from multi-generational poverty that make up the bulk of the public school population. In schools with few middle class AA students, AA parents have legitimate concerns about peer influences and low expectations from teachers who may lump all black kids together and consider them a lost cause, or just have lower expectations for our kids. White families in these gentrifying schools will be largely insulated from these concerns, as it doesn't really affect their children to the same extent. It's just not worth it for many middle class AA families, and they may leave for Silver Spring/Bowie/Rockville/etc. after a while, if they didn't start out there in the first place.

I think there will continue to be a growing divide in the city, with middle class families of all stripes being squeezed out, unless there is a significant investment in affordable housing and in multi-family housing in a lot of the upper NW neighborhoods with attractive school options.

I am not AA but have noticed a lot this as well and heard it many, many times from middle class AA friends who either left the city or never considered living here in the first place. I have also noticed the tension in schools as it seems almost like there aren't enough middle class AA families to go around because of these issues, so schools can tip quickly between being either majority AA and mostly poor, or majority white and mostly rich. Hard to maintain a balance.

+1. The gentrification has been a double whammy. High SES whites push out middle class AA. Then they refuse to send their kids to the neighborhood school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, leave the district. I am black as well and I am just not playing with these odds. Go to Silver Spring, which will work for both of your commutes. Send your child to an ES like Flora Singer and then Blair HS, or by then, you may have enough equity to move to Bethesda or something.

I truly feel like it isn't worth it for me to chance these schools with my child. Let the white people figure it out and fix it for their kids. I just cannot experiment with my brown baby.

OP here. I hate the idea of doing this because I so want to be one of the middle class brown faces that stays in the city. But, it really doesn't leave a lot of options for our babies. I agree--my DC will not be the experiment.

I had to think long and hard about why I wanted to stay and so many of the reasons were about me. Wanting a 15 min shorter commute, feeling like I was a hipper city person etc. what was best for my kid? A quieter street in the burbs where we play outside and the school is filled with other middle class families doing the same thing as us. There are some lower income families too, but the differentiation and opportunities are just leaps and bounds better than DCPS. And I’m not knocking those who stay, especially the white people, because outcomes for their kids are just statistically better. I had to do what I needed to do for the best shot for my black child.

I have a black mom friend whose kid is in an activity with mine, and who lives in the Forest Glen area of Silver Spring. She loves the school there and says it's also very diverse. I'm forgetting whether it is Flora Singer or Oakland Terrace, although I've heard good things about both. Just mentioning as an option that is somewhat close-in.