No children allowed at family members wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who said no kids, knowing that many of the families on their guest list would be unable to arrange child care since they'd be far from home. The couple marrying needed to have a small wedding because of costs and figured that this would trim the guest list down without them having to make decisions about who not to invite.

As it turned out, a lot of people just couldn't do it, between the travel and having to arrange child care, so they declined.
Then, the bride was all upset because so few people were able to make it to her wedding!

Weddings are emotional times, you just have to do what works best for you and your family.

I’m sure that’s what will happen. They reserved places for about 400 people (my aunt and uncle paid for the chunk of this wedding). Most guests are family members and friends, most have children. It’s across the state held in a rural area and we were looking forward to using it as a family reunion but now we may skip out.

I’ll also add it wasn’t clear upfront no children were allowed. The invite said Mr. and Mrs. Larlo and then after we RSVPd we received a mass email to all guest saying no kids under 16.

But it’s not a family reunion. It’s their wedding.

Now I understand why you’re so mad. They’re running your plans by having a wedding in the middle of your dream reunion.

Do you even care about theM getting married or do you judge them so severely for daring to cohabit first? Kinda the feeling I got from your OP.

If weddings aren't for family, what are they for? If all you want is a sophisticated party, invite you local friends and family and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If weddings aren't for family, what are they for? If all you want is a sophisticated party, invite you local friends and family and be done with it.

They're for whatever the people getting married what them to be for.

[Anonymous]

^^^^want them to be for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are mid 30s. We are doing "no kids" at our wedding this August because (1.) so many of our friends have kids that it could easily double our guest list and turn the event into a play date, (2.) we are paying for our wedding ourselves and don't have family help, and (3.) we want a more adult affair and the venue isn't really that kid friendly.

We will have our nieces at the wedding and they will be the only children in attendance as flower girls. I totally understand if our friends can't make it and send their regrets. We also don't expect gifts from them.

It's gross to have a few kids as window dressing. you sound awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin is marrying her long time boyfriend. They have two kids (almost 2&5) yet they’ve told all guests no children allowed at wedding or reception. I find this tacky regardless, but especially considering the fact they have children and have been cohabitating for 6+ years.

90% is the family members on both sides are traveling and many of us have children. What the hell do we do with our kids?

This may shock you but some of your family members will actually attend and not bring their children - either leave them at home or hire a sitter.

If you choose to do neither, I don't think it's a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If weddings aren't for family, what are they for? If all you want is a sophisticated party, invite you local friends and family and be done with it.

They're for whatever the people getting married what them to be for.

Ok well then don't complain when your family isn't as close as you had hoped, doesn't support you when you have kids, etc. You hold family at a distance and you will get a distant family.

[Anonymous]

Oh good grief. They aren't obligated to invite children, you're not obligated to attend. If you aren't comfortable hiring a local sitter for during the ceremony or don't feel like it's worth it then skip the whole thing. A wedding invite isn't a command performance. If they are disappointed by the low turnout, that's their own issue to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are mid 30s. We are doing "no kids" at our wedding this August because (1.) so many of our friends have kids that it could easily double our guest list and turn the event into a play date, (2.) we are paying for our wedding ourselves and don't have family help, and (3.) we want a more adult affair and the venue isn't really that kid friendly.

We will have our nieces at the wedding and they will be the only children in attendance as flower girls. I totally understand if our friends can't make it and send their regrets. We also don't expect gifts from them.

It's gross to have a few kids as window dressing. you sound awful.

I disagree. I've attended a wedding before where only kids in the wedding attended--not unheard of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just decline without anger. I got bullied into having kids at my wedding and it was a huge pain and really took over wedding. I think many of the families of kids want the wedding to be a chance to show their kids off etc but it is not their day. Totally get the decline but don’t be snippy seems like it doesn’t work for both sides and that is okay.

"Not their day"? You are one of those "it's my special day" types?

Not me. Our wedding was the joining of two families. No, we had not been married before, and no, we didn't have kids. But we realized that our families would be joined through us, and we wanted to celebrate that.

You're an idiot. People can have different preferences. Both are fine, and at the discretion of the bride and groom.

Ummm. Over-sensitive much? Did I say that they couldn't do it? Nope - just said that my DH and I had a different philosophy.

But I'll escalate, just to upset you more. The people who think that their wedding day is all about them are the ones who plan a wedding and not a marriage. It's one day, not the whole shebang.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people who hire babysitters so they can go on date nights and out their kids on day care all week get bent out of shape because they can't take their kids along to a wedding for a few hours. Hire a friggin baby sitter. It's not a big deal.

At a hotel? No. Op says a lot of people have to travel.

Yes. Ask people who live locally for recommended baby sitters. Why people think their are entitled to bring kids to their weddings is beyond me. It's bizarre - people leave their kids with baby sitters all the time but for an event like a wedding that just CANT be away from them for four or five hours?

Hmm. Where did I say I couldn't leave my kid for a few hours? Or was entitled to bring him? Oh right..... I DIDN'T.

IF you can get recommendations for babysitters that sometimes works. If you or your kid aren't ok with the idea of a strange babysitter in a strange place then simply don't go. It's not essential. They'll get married whether you are there or not.

It really isn't that big of a deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who said no kids, knowing that many of the families on their guest list would be unable to arrange child care since they'd be far from home. The couple marrying needed to have a small wedding because of costs and figured that this would trim the guest list down without them having to make decisions about who not to invite.

As it turned out, a lot of people just couldn't do it, between the travel and having to arrange child care, so they declined.
Then, the bride was all upset because so few people were able to make it to her wedding!

Weddings are emotional times, you just have to do what works best for you and your family.

I’m sure that’s what will happen. They reserved places for about 400 people (my aunt and uncle paid for the chunk of this wedding). Most guests are family members and friends, most have children. It’s across the state held in a rural area and we were looking forward to using it as a family reunion but now we may skip out.

I’ll also add it wasn’t clear upfront no children were allowed. The invite said Mr. and Mrs. Larlo and then after we RSVPd we received a mass email to all guest saying no kids under 16.

But it’s not a family reunion. It’s their wedding.

Now I understand why you’re so mad. They’re running your plans by having a wedding in the middle of your dream reunion.

Do you even care about theM getting married or do you judge them so severely for daring to cohabit first? Kinda the feeling I got from your OP.

If weddings aren't for family, what are they for? If all you want is a sophisticated party, invite you local friends and family and be done with it.

I thought the purpose of a wedding was to get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, for clarification: an invitation is not a summons. If their request doesn’t work for you, you simply don’t attend. There is no reason to be irritated.

Exactly. Accept graciously and promptly, or decline graciously and promptly. Why is this so hard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if so many parents today didn't shirk real parenting and brought up nicer, better-behaved kids then so many people wouldn't have "no kids" events. Far too many kids today are horribly behaved brats that should not be in public ever.

Plus, weddings are not places for children. Never have been except to lower class people. Hire a babysitter or don't go. Somehow I suspect you wont even be missed OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If weddings aren't for family, what are they for? If all you want is a sophisticated party, invite you local friends and family and be done with it.

They're for whatever the people getting married what them to be for.

+1 This. How is this even a question? The people getting married can invite, or not invite, whoever they choose. If you can't or don't want to attend then don't. Do you always make everything all about you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who said no kids, knowing that many of the families on their guest list would be unable to arrange child care since they'd be far from home. The couple marrying needed to have a small wedding because of costs and figured that this would trim the guest list down without them having to make decisions about who not to invite.

As it turned out, a lot of people just couldn't do it, between the travel and having to arrange child care, so they declined.
Then, the bride was all upset because so few people were able to make it to her wedding!

Weddings are emotional times, you just have to do what works best for you and your family.

I’m sure that’s what will happen. They reserved places for about 400 people (my aunt and uncle paid for the chunk of this wedding). Most guests are family members and friends, most have children. It’s across the state held in a rural area and we were looking forward to using it as a family reunion but now we may skip out.

I’ll also add it wasn’t clear upfront no children were allowed. The invite said Mr. and Mrs. Larlo and then after we RSVPd we received a mass email to all guest saying no kids under 16.

But it’s not a family reunion. It’s their wedding.

Now I understand why you’re so mad. They’re running your plans by having a wedding in the middle of your dream reunion.

Do you even care about theM getting married or do you judge them so severely for daring to cohabit first? Kinda the feeling I got from your OP.

If weddings aren't for family, what are they for? If all you want is a sophisticated party, invite you local friends and family and be done with it.

I thought the purpose of a wedding was to get married.

Exactly this! It's about bringing together two families ***for some couples.*** For other couples, it is about just the two of them, and what they want for the day. That is why you see some weddings at the justice of the peace; some with 20 friends and close family on the beach; some 100+ elegant black tie affairs with no children; and some 100+ home-y backyard BBQs with lots of children.

Don't want to go, for whatever reason? DON'T GO. Life is simple!