Is private school REALLY different than public school??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MCPS has a very strong curriculum and is doing well. In terms of academics private school is the same, teachers are the same. The only difference really is in all the "fluff". The arts has much more focus, PE and althetics has more focus and perhaps the amenities is much nicer.

It really depends on how much money you are looking to spend and if it's really worth it to you.

Personally, I didn't think it was worth the money. I took my kids out of private and they are doing just fine in public.

And yet here you are lurking on the private school forum when public schools are best and you don't second guess your decision at all. Remorse or are you trying tell yourself it will all be ok despite the overcrowding?

[Anonymous]

An average private school is basically a public without the bottom half trash who don't care about school. You're basically paying to keep your kids from trashy peers.

At a top tier private it's a diff. ball game with basically all wealthy and/or ambitious kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
One more thing, and you'll call me old-fashioned for this one. I see kids waiting for the public school bus as I drive my DS to his private. They're dressed like slobs, hair is overgrown, they look a mess. Kids at our school are presented nicely, they learn how to speak in front of groups that include classmates, parents and teachers. Appearances and verbal presentations matter. Private schools teach it, public doesn't.

As a parent whose kids have both attended public and private schools, I need to point out that both schools taught character. For example, both had anti-bullying curricula and public speaking (if you want to include public speaking as "character", but it sounds like you're driving at a different sort of issue here). Yet there were bullies and bad speakers at both places, which isn't really surprising. Ultimately it's the parents' responsibility to teach character. I would never rely on a school to do it for me.

As the kids get older (middle school), one thing that I find is that at larger public schools, dealing with the fallout of sext-ing and online bullying is much, much more difficult to control because you can't expel students. Although you will definitely find both sexting and online bullying in both public and private schools, in my observation with friends who have children at both, private schools are much more likely to come down hard on students who are caught abusing online privileges. There are multiple parent meetings, class assemblies, time taken out of classes to talk about this, and even (in a couple of cases) expulsion for repeat offenders. The parents with kids at Deal, OTOH, are really struggling with this mostly on their own. The school does acknowledge it, but really on a level that is not even remotely close to what I have seen at private schools. I'm not saying that private schools are dealing with this growing problem perfectly, but I definitely get the sense that they are trying a lot harder to send the message to students that such behavior is not to be tolerated.

i am a parent to one child in private school and one child in public (DC charter) school.

every parent likes to think that their child would NEVER be the one initiating bullying or sexting. but let me ask you this, PP - if you were in a private school, and your child was the initiator or a bullying or sexting incident, how would you like it if your child was expelled from school? do you think that will "teach" your child a lesson? the real question is, what would YOU do about it?

running to expulsion is a cop-out, and i think that this is what is scary about private schools.

Of course, as a parent of two children in a private school, I would feel terrible if my child were expelled. But, if you read my PP, I stated that the explusions that I was aware of (two of them) the offenders were *repeat* offenders who had already received extremely stern reprimands about the consequences of their behavior. And, yes, I do think that expulsion will teach the child a lesson. I don't think that expulsion is a cop-out, especially if the child (and family) have been in discussions with the school about formerly unacceptable behavior.

I believe that attending a private school is a privilege, and that if one abuses that privilege, that it can be rightfully taken away.

you opened your post with this:

As the kids get older (middle school), one thing that I find is that at larger public schools, dealing with the fallout of sext-ing and online bullying is much, much more difficult to control because you can't expel students.

so, you opened by saying that this is the key that a school must have to manage adequately sexting and bullying.

also, for the record, public schools CAN expel students.

And your point is what? I have never heard of a public school that expelled a student--have you? So, even if in theory it is possible, I have never heard of it first or second hand actually done in practice. I believe that the threat of expulsion is a fair means of a school asserting its right to ensure that students do not become repeated victims of sexting and online bullying.

Remember the Smoothie King Robbery?

https://www.washingtonian.com/2007/04/01/stickup-at-the-smoothie-king/

How are you going to know anyway of anyone is expelled from a school? Discipline is confidential and usually not announced to the public.

[Anonymous]

Regarding expulsion, my DC's public elementary school expelled a kid from his class. I don't know if it was called an expulsion or not -- the kid was suspended and he then never came back. It was his second or third suspension. He was disruptive and picked fights. Word was that his parents sent him out of state to live with relatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
One more thing, and you'll call me old-fashioned for this one. I see kids waiting for the public school bus as I drive my DS to his private. They're dressed like slobs, hair is overgrown, they look a mess. Kids at our school are presented nicely, they learn how to speak in front of groups that include classmates, parents and teachers. Appearances and verbal presentations matter. Private schools teach it, public doesn't.

As a parent whose kids have both attended public and private schools, I need to point out that both schools taught character. For example, both had anti-bullying curricula and public speaking (if you want to include public speaking as "character", but it sounds like you're driving at a different sort of issue here). Yet there were bullies and bad speakers at both places, which isn't really surprising. Ultimately it's the parents' responsibility to teach character. I would never rely on a school to do it for me.

As the kids get older (middle school), one thing that I find is that at larger public schools, dealing with the fallout of sext-ing and online bullying is much, much more difficult to control because you can't expel students. Although you will definitely find both sexting and online bullying in both public and private schools, in my observation with friends who have children at both, private schools are much more likely to come down hard on students who are caught abusing online privileges. There are multiple parent meetings, class assemblies, time taken out of classes to talk about this, and even (in a couple of cases) expulsion for repeat offenders. The parents with kids at Deal, OTOH, are really struggling with this mostly on their own. The school does acknowledge it, but really on a level that is not even remotely close to what I have seen at private schools. I'm not saying that private schools are dealing with this growing problem perfectly, but I definitely get the sense that they are trying a lot harder to send the message to students that such behavior is not to be tolerated.

i am a parent to one child in private school and one child in public (DC charter) school.

every parent likes to think that their child would NEVER be the one initiating bullying or sexting. but let me ask you this, PP - if you were in a private school, and your child was the initiator or a bullying or sexting incident, how would you like it if your child was expelled from school? do you think that will "teach" your child a lesson? the real question is, what would YOU do about it?

running to expulsion is a cop-out, and i think that this is what is scary about private schools.

Of course, as a parent of two children in a private school, I would feel terrible if my child were expelled. But, if you read my PP, I stated that the explusions that I was aware of (two of them) the offenders were *repeat* offenders who had already received extremely stern reprimands about the consequences of their behavior. And, yes, I do think that expulsion will teach the child a lesson. I don't think that expulsion is a cop-out, especially if the child (and family) have been in discussions with the school about formerly unacceptable behavior.

I believe that attending a private school is a privilege, and that if one abuses that privilege, that it can be rightfully taken away.

you opened your post with this:

As the kids get older (middle school), one thing that I find is that at larger public schools, dealing with the fallout of sext-ing and online bullying is much, much more difficult to control because you can't expel students.

so, you opened by saying that this is the key that a school must have to manage adequately sexting and bullying.

also, for the record, public schools CAN expel students.

And your point is what? I have never heard of a public school that expelled a student--have you? So, even if in theory it is possible, I have never heard of it first or second hand actually done in practice. I believe that the threat of expulsion is a fair means of a school asserting its right to ensure that students do not become repeated victims of sexting and online bullying.

my point is what? my point is that you think that private schools are "better" at dealing with sexting and bullying because they can expel students. but that isn't really dealing with it, is it? rather, that is shipping the student off to be another school's problem. look, i am a private school parent as well, but let's be honest about these issues. and let's also realize that being happy that children can easily be expelled from (or counseled out of) can also come back to bite us if it is OUR child who is the perpetrator. in the end, it is how the parents are dealing with it that really matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
One more thing, and you'll call me old-fashioned for this one. I see kids waiting for the public school bus as I drive my DS to his private. They're dressed like slobs, hair is overgrown, they look a mess. Kids at our school are presented nicely, they learn how to speak in front of groups that include classmates, parents and teachers. Appearances and verbal presentations matter. Private schools teach it, public doesn't.

As a parent whose kids have both attended public and private schools, I need to point out that both schools taught character. For example, both had anti-bullying curricula and public speaking (if you want to include public speaking as "character", but it sounds like you're driving at a different sort of issue here). Yet there were bullies and bad speakers at both places, which isn't really surprising. Ultimately it's the parents' responsibility to teach character. I would never rely on a school to do it for me.

As the kids get older (middle school), one thing that I find is that at larger public schools, dealing with the fallout of sext-ing and online bullying is much, much more difficult to control because you can't expel students. Although you will definitely find both sexting and online bullying in both public and private schools, in my observation with friends who have children at both, private schools are much more likely to come down hard on students who are caught abusing online privileges. There are multiple parent meetings, class assemblies, time taken out of classes to talk about this, and even (in a couple of cases) expulsion for repeat offenders. The parents with kids at Deal, OTOH, are really struggling with this mostly on their own. The school does acknowledge it, but really on a level that is not even remotely close to what I have seen at private schools. I'm not saying that private schools are dealing with this growing problem perfectly, but I definitely get the sense that they are trying a lot harder to send the message to students that such behavior is not to be tolerated.

i am a parent to one child in private school and one child in public (DC charter) school.

every parent likes to think that their child would NEVER be the one initiating bullying or sexting. but let me ask you this, PP - if you were in a private school, and your child was the initiator or a bullying or sexting incident, how would you like it if your child was expelled from school? do you think that will "teach" your child a lesson? the real question is, what would YOU do about it?

running to expulsion is a cop-out, and i think that this is what is scary about private schools.

You think it is scary there are consequences for bad behavior? I find it scary that their parents are more worried about the consequences of their kid being expelled than the fact their kids are engaged in criminal behavior.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to say what private school my kids go to but I will say there was a sexting "scandal" two years ago. The main boy was expelled, those who shared the pics were kicked off their athletic teams.

There is also zero bullying. Period. Nobody makes fun of anyone for caring about school - - - you'd get made fun of for NOT caring about school.

At my nieces and nephews high school 9th graders are seriously tormented and hazed the entire year. It's appalling.

[Anonymous]

This Sunday's NY Time Magazine was the HS issue. It had an article on restorative justice in some public schools.
The point was that statistics show that suspensions and expulsions do not help improve student behaviour. The kid who is expelled does not learn his lesson. He just feels more alienated from society. Private schools expelling kids is not especially laudable. Maybe it is great for you but the school is not doing any favours to the kid who is expelled and are also just making the problem kid someone else's problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This Sunday's NY Time Magazine was the HS issue. It had an article on restorative justice in some public schools.
The point was that statistics show that suspensions and expulsions do not help improve student behaviour. The kid who is expelled does not learn his lesson. He just feels more alienated from society. Private schools expelling kids is not especially laudable. Maybe it is great for you but the school is not doing any favours to the kid who is expelled and are also just making the problem kid someone else's problem.

You could argue the same for prison. It doesn't work yet we do it. However, I for once don't want my child to be exposed to highly aggressive behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MCPS has a very strong curriculum and is doing well. In terms of academics private school is the same, teachers are the same. The only difference really is in all the "fluff". The arts has much more focus, PE and althetics has more focus and perhaps the amenities is much nicer.

It really depends on how much money you are looking to spend and if it's really worth it to you.

Personally, I didn't think it was worth the money. I took my kids out of private and they are doing just fine in public.

And yet here you are lurking on the private school forum when public schools are best and you don't second guess your decision at all. Remorse or are you trying tell yourself it will all be ok despite the overcrowding?

+100

I am a private school parent (formerly public school) who often lurks on the public school forums. All I can say is I breathe a sigh of relief every time I go over there and hear all the complaints about class size, curriculum, etc. It is VERY reassuring to see how miserable pubic school parents are with the current situation at MCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
my point is what? my point is that you think that private schools are "better" at dealing with sexting and bullying because they can expel students. but that isn't really dealing with it, is it? rather, that is shipping the student off to be another school's problem. look, i am a private school parent as well, but let's be honest about these issues. and let's also realize that being happy that children can easily be expelled from (or counseled out of) can also come back to bite us if it is OUR child who is the perpetrator. in the end, it is how the parents are dealing with it that really matters.

What do you think a private school can do to assure the victim and the victim's parents after a repeat offender has not been expelled? You seem to be concerned only about protecting the perpetrator, not the victim. It would be a terrible environment for the victim of repeated bullying to have to go to school to face a student who refuses to give up unacceptable behavior. What would you do to reassure a student that she can go to school in a non-hostile environment? I think it is fair, when we are dealing with middle schoolers and above, to expel repeat offenders. How many chances do you think a student needs? Why do you hold students to such low moral standards?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
my point is what? my point is that you think that private schools are "better" at dealing with sexting and bullying because they can expel students. but that isn't really dealing with it, is it? rather, that is shipping the student off to be another school's problem. look, i am a private school parent as well, but let's be honest about these issues. and let's also realize that being happy that children can easily be expelled from (or counseled out of) can also come back to bite us if it is OUR child who is the perpetrator. in the end, it is how the parents are dealing with it that really matters.

What do you think a private school can do to assure the victim and the victim's parents after a repeat offender has not been expelled? You seem to be concerned only about protecting the perpetrator, not the victim. It would be a terrible environment for the victim of repeated bullying to have to go to school to face a student who refuses to give up unacceptable behavior. What would you do to reassure a student that she can go to school in a non-hostile environment? I think it is fair, when we are dealing with middle schoolers and above, to expel repeat offenders. How many chances do you think a student needs? Why do you hold students to such low moral standards?

If you think a top donor's kid will be expelled for bad behavior you are very sadly mistaken.

[Anonymous]

We started at a Big 3 for 4th grade. I would have to agree with this observation. If the money means very little, go for it. If it's a struggle wait and apply for MS, especially if you have access to a good elementary school.

Anonymous wrote:In my experience (having had kids in both) the only reason to use private elementary school vs. your JKLM public option in NW DC is
-you have enough money that $35K a year means very little
-your child has special needs.
Otherwise, the public experience is about 90-95% of the private one. And the private schools themselves agree because they take these kids coming from DCPS for middle
or high school all the time. Kids are admitted to Sidwell and GDS (etc) from Janney, Mann, Deal, etc and they transition seamlessly.

[Anonymous]

It's a class thing OP. If you come from the upper middle class or above, it would be horrid to send your kid to a public school. If you are an upward bound striver, then you will aim for a "good" public school in the white suburbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a class thing OP. If you come from the upper middle class or above, it would be horrid to send your kid to a public school. If you are an upward bound striver, then you will aim for a "good" public school in the white suburbs.

\

This couldn't be more wrong.