Feel poor at 300k HHI

[Anonymous]

So, I actually agree with you OP. We make about the same amount, but we save very, very aggressively - more than take home goes into savings every year. So we live on a very different amount. It's our choice. We could afford better vacations and private school, but our priorities are to build a cushion and maybe retire early. I go through occasional "why can't we just spend more money!" Phases, but generally, I'm way more comfortable having people think we are poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, I actually agree with you OP. We make about the same amount, but we save very, very aggressively - more than take home goes into savings every year. So we live on a very different amount. It's our choice. We could afford better vacations and private school, but our priorities are to build a cushion and maybe retire early. I go through occasional "why can't we just spend more money!" Phases, but generally, I'm way more comfortable having people think we are poor.

What kind of choices do you make and how do you actually save? What does your budget look like?

[Anonymous]

I get it OP. I'm not in Arlington, but the next town over and we know a lot of people in Arlington, Falls Church,McLean who are making between 500k and 1 million. They live differently than we do with our two GS salaries. We are lucky not to have loans, we bought at a good time so mortgage on our nice, but hardly fabulous, house is okay and we did have a nanny because it was a strong preference.

The thing you have to remind yourself is that you are fortunate. There will always be someone smarter, prettier or richer. We take great trips by the way, but they are usually driving vacations, with free hotel stays earned through strategic accumulation of credit card points. We have plenty of food on the table, can deal with emergencies, and can buy clothes, toys, etc. I have some friends with 15 plus 300-500 $ bags. I buy purses at target or tj maxx. I'm still luckier than most people in this country and certainly the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I actually agree with you OP. We make about the same amount, but we save very, very aggressively - more than take home goes into savings every year. So we live on a very different amount. It's our choice. We could afford better vacations and private school, but our priorities are to build a cushion and maybe retire early. I go through occasional "why can't we just spend more money!" Phases, but generally, I'm way more comfortable having people think we are poor.

What kind of choices do you make and how do you actually save? What does your budget look like?

Husband's entire bonus goes into a special company savings plan, 100% of my part time salary goes into a 403b, maxed out 401k and 529s, company stock gifts into a special fund. almost paid off the house by making extra principal payments every month (bought five years ago.) Cars bought in cash (not luxury, but not Hyundais.) its. It perfect, I still spend too much on stupid things, but we are at least trying. we are
Committed to spending more on travel this year, because I really really want to travel and the kids are finially old enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I actually agree with you OP. We make about the same amount, but we save very, very aggressively - more than take home goes into savings every year. So we live on a very different amount. It's our choice. We could afford better vacations and private school, but our priorities are to build a cushion and maybe retire early. I go through occasional "why can't we just spend more money!" Phases, but generally, I'm way more comfortable having people think we are poor.

What kind of choices do you make and how do you actually save? What does your budget look like?

Husband's entire bonus goes into a special company savings plan, 100% of my part time salary goes into a 403b, maxed out 401k and 529s, company stock gifts into a special fund. almost paid off the house by making extra principal payments every month (bought five years ago.) Cars bought in cash (not luxury, but not Hyundais.) its. It perfect, I still spend too much on stupid things, but we are at least trying. we are
Committed to spending more on travel this year, because I really really want to travel and the kids are finially old enough.

ITS NOT PERFECT is what I meant to type!! I bought $180 jeans last month. I'm NOT perfect!!

[Anonymous]

I have friends in DMV who are multi-millionaires and I have a few friends who are nearly billionaires (though not in DMV).

I do not envy them because I never had the drive that they had to be very successful. I am very laid back and very happy in the life that we have carved for ourselves. I am middle class in DMV and I think that is great! Much more than anything I had thought I would achieve with my "I must nap in the afternoons" lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I actually agree with you OP. We make about the same amount, but we save very, very aggressively - more than take home goes into savings every year. So we live on a very different amount. It's our choice. We could afford better vacations and private school, but our priorities are to build a cushion and maybe retire early. I go through occasional "why can't we just spend more money!" Phases, but generally, I'm way more comfortable having people think we are poor.

What kind of choices do you make and how do you actually save? What does your budget look like?

Husband's entire bonus goes into a special company savings plan, 100% of my part time salary goes into a 403b, maxed out 401k and 529s, company stock gifts into a special fund. almost paid off the house by making extra principal payments every month (bought five years ago.) Cars bought in cash (not luxury, but not Hyundais.) its. It perfect, I still spend too much on stupid things, but we are at least trying. we are
Committed to spending more on travel this year, because I really really want to travel and the kids are finially old enough.

ITS NOT PERFECT is what I meant to type!! I bought $180 jeans last month. I'm NOT perfect!!

So apart from better vacations and private schools, what do you feel like you're giving up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's a secret some of your lavish friends aren't mentioning - they barely pay the minimum on their maxed out credit cards, their parents are still funding their lifestyles into their 40s, they have high paid jobs that they hate and spend on luxuries to have something to enjoy, or they're saving zero for their retirement or kids' education.

The grass is not always greener, continue to make responsible choices and things will work out well for you.

Thanks. Not OP, but hoping you are right.

I don't think this is right. At least not about the credit card mins. There is just a lot of $ around here. Lots of people have family money. Or just make a lot. If it makes you feel better to believe they have no savings and are in debt up to their eyeballs, proceed. But it likely isn't true. They just have more money. Either from family or work.

I can see your point. So, what would be your advice for someone like me to keep my spirits up?
I know people say gratitude but it feels so tiresome to hang in there and see all that excess right and left while my little family is working really hard with a great education and can't seem to get ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Popping the popcorn . . .

LOL

[Anonymous]

Wow, that mortgage payment seems high. How many more years of that do you have? Is it a 15 year mortgage? A huge expensive house?

[Anonymous]

I'm not getting it OP - you say you bring in 15k/month net with fixed costs of 9k. So you car payments, utilities and food for 3 people run you 6k every month?? I'm not seeing why you can't save 1-2k/month and then splurge on a vacation or a few designer purses or whatever it is you are coveting. Are you leaving out some huge line item from your budget??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, I actually agree with you OP. We make about the same amount, but we save very, very aggressively - more than take home goes into savings every year. So we live on a very different amount. It's our choice. We could afford better vacations and private school, but our priorities are to build a cushion and maybe retire early. I go through occasional "why can't we just spend more money!" Phases, but generally, I'm way more comfortable having people think we are poor.

How can you save more than you take home?

Or do you mean you save more than 1/2 of your income, so the amount that you save is greater than the amount you spend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's a secret some of your lavish friends aren't mentioning - they barely pay the minimum on their maxed out credit cards, their parents are still funding their lifestyles into their 40s, they have high paid jobs that they hate and spend on luxuries to have something to enjoy, or they're saving zero for their retirement or kids' education.

The grass is not always greener, continue to make responsible choices and things will work out well for you.

Thanks. Not OP, but hoping you are right.

I don't think this is right. At least not about the credit card mins. There is just a lot of $ around here. Lots of people have family money. Or just make a lot. If it makes you feel better to believe they have no savings and are in debt up to their eyeballs, proceed. But it likely isn't true. They just have more money. Either from family or work.

I can see your point. So, what would be your advice for someone like me to keep my spirits up?
I know people say gratitude but it feels so tiresome to hang in there and see all that excess right and left while my little family is working really hard with a great education and can't seem to get ahead.

OP, stop wasting your time on this thread. The bitter, envious lower life forms who post regularly on DCUM are not making as much as you because they have spent their lives on vitriol and class envy, and are looking for excuses to attack someone else. You will not get anything useful out of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's a secret some of your lavish friends aren't mentioning - they barely pay the minimum on their maxed out credit cards, their parents are still funding their lifestyles into their 40s, they have high paid jobs that they hate and spend on luxuries to have something to enjoy, or they're saving zero for their retirement or kids' education.

The grass is not always greener, continue to make responsible choices and things will work out well for you.

Thanks. Not OP, but hoping you are right.

I don't think this is right. At least not about the credit card mins. There is just a lot of $ around here. Lots of people have family money. Or just make a lot. If it makes you feel better to believe they have no savings and are in debt up to their eyeballs, proceed. But it likely isn't true. They just have more money. Either from family or work.

I can see your point. So, what would be your advice for someone like me to keep my spirits up?
I know people say gratitude but it feels so tiresome to hang in there and see all that excess right and left while my little family is working really hard with a great education and can't seem to get ahead.

I have no idea. I honestly do not feel like that. I never thought that I would be the richest person or that I deserve everything just because we work hard. I grew up much poorer and have seen a lot of people work really hard and have almost nothing and when have big problems that were totally outside of their control. So, I feel lucky to have money to save for retirement and to never really worry about making the mortgage payment or buying groceries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, that mortgage payment seems high. How many more years of that do you have? Is it a 15 year mortgage? A huge expensive house?

You clearly are not from this area.