Great aticle on how middle class is struggling and not saving enough

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm really not surprised that a seemingly rational and sane person puts himself in a precarious financial state keeping up with the Joneses. This is very similar to my family's story. My dad was a high ranking government official and because of whom we grew up and mingled with the world elite. The government perks made it so we were able to keep up with the Joneses and the prestige his title afforded us more than made up for our lack of actual funds. We wined and dined like the rich and lived like rich even though we had no savings no college funds no home. Ultimately dad retired and his pension isn't enough to keep us afloat. My younger siblings work part time in retail and attend NOVA. I have developed very elite tastes and find it hard to live a "normal" MC life. My parents have no retirement savings and no home. Its awful.

Where do your parent's live?
It's said that one shouldn't wander over to the luxurious side of life or it's hard to go back!!
Good luck to you.

Don't want to say for privacy reasons. It is really quite miserable. We all feel pretty shell shocked. I'm grateful I still managed to get my college paid for. My younger siblings are working retail and going to NOVA.

Oh, for God's sake. Take responsibility for your life, as the rest of us do. "shell-shocked" - GMAFB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why his wife never went back to work. Even if in a different field or part time. I know he said he kept her in the dark about their finances but I have a hard time believing she was totally unaware. Especially since he also mentioned how they didn't go on vacations like ever or really buy anything.

Why should she have to work if she doesn't want to? The crime here is that he was paid a stagnating wage his whole career to write magazine articles. He should have been paid more money so that he could live a nice life. Someone like him SHOULD be living in a brownstone with a SAH wife, two kids at Ivies, and a house in the Hamptons. Not all those horrible Wall Street people who ROBBED the American public.

I should be living in a brownstone with a stay at home spouse too. Damn why aren't I?? LOL

Although I get the part about the horrible wall street people...

[Anonymous]

It is really hard to muster sympathy for this particular guy. Basically, he wanted to be in a different class than he is actually in. And now he's suffering (while living in the Hamptons?).

It does seem like his story is more about a middle class guy who wanted to live as if he were wealthy, and found that it didn't add up. That's different from the story about families with two working parents who make what would seem to be financially appropriate decisions, and still find themselves up a creek.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is really hard to muster sympathy for this particular guy. Basically, he wanted to be in a different class than he is actually in. And now he's suffering (while living in the Hamptons?).

It does seem like his story is more about a middle class guy who wanted to live as if he were wealthy, and found that it didn't add up. That's different from the story about families with two working parents who make what would seem to be financially appropriate decisions, and still find themselves up a creek.

His kids are doing well. One is now in medical school and the other married a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm really not surprised that a seemingly rational and sane person puts himself in a precarious financial state keeping up with the Joneses. This is very similar to my family's story. My dad was a high ranking government official and because of whom we grew up and mingled with the world elite. The government perks made it so we were able to keep up with the Joneses and the prestige his title afforded us more than made up for our lack of actual funds. We wined and dined like the rich and lived like rich even though we had no savings no college funds no home. Ultimately dad retired and his pension isn't enough to keep us afloat. My younger siblings work part time in retail and attend NOVA. I have developed very elite tastes and find it hard to live a "normal" MC life. My parents have no retirement savings and no home. Its awful.

+ 1 I struggle with the same. It's a form of child abuse in my opinion to grow up with pictures that just don't represent the real world in any way.
Good luck to you, don't let the anger eat you up. Jump over your pride. I dug myself out slowly but still feel like a fish out of water.

But what are you all doing as adults? OK, there are reasons to resent parents, but you, yourselves what are you doing to achieve the lifestyle that you want to have?

Well, I do not resent my parents. My parents went broke trying to provide for us the best of everything they had access to-at their own expense. Today they don't even have a home. I am forever grateful to them for introducing me to that world. Even now, people mistake me for an upper class person due to how I naturally carry myself and dress myself. I like to joke about how I am a kind of a white elephant. I relate more to the rich but cannot afford their life. I had to majorly downgrade my lifestyle upon my dad's retirement 5 years ago.

Part of being from that world was...I didn't go to college to earn a living. I studied Literature and am today a very poorly paid admin at a non profit in the area. My parents encouraged me to study what I wanted and to cultivate my mind and tastes and I had no idea that the rug would be pulled out of my feet upon graduation. I have tried to hold on to my old life by attempting to marry rich. HAHA. That did not pan out as my dh, although raised in a similar UC life growing up, also now has to fend for himself because his MC parents went broke financing his very expensive private education and vacations in France. We are both kind of confused, earning a MC living but living among and around the truly rich. I'd go back to school and earn a profitable degree but I have no money and do not want to get into debt. Its really quite a sick joke.

How old are you? Were your parents supporting you after college?

My parents were diplomats and we got to see a little of the lifestyle of the very wealthy. We definitely splurged on some things (vacations and restaurants, on occasion) and I was also encouraged to go to college and study whatever appealed to me. But my parents definitely saved and are in a good retirement situation now. It was a little bit of an awakening for me when I'd graduated from college and still had no idea what to do and realized the jobs I could get with my skills were admin-level work. I went back to grad school and got some hard skills and am in a better position now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why his wife never went back to work. Even if in a different field or part time. I know he said he kept her in the dark about their finances but I have a hard time believing she was totally unaware. Especially since he also mentioned how they didn't go on vacations like ever or really buy anything.

Why should she have to work if she doesn't want to? The crime here is that he was paid a stagnating wage his whole career to write magazine articles. He should have been paid more money so that he could live a nice life. Someone like him SHOULD be living in a brownstone with a SAH wife, two kids at Ivies, and a house in the Hamptons. Not all those horrible Wall Street people who ROBBED the American public.

Really?! She should work because they can't afford for her to stay home! The reality is that they can't afford private educations, living in a brownstone, a house in the Hamptons, etc. even if you think they SHOULD be able to afford it. This is not a fairytale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm really not surprised that a seemingly rational and sane person puts himself in a precarious financial state keeping up with the Joneses. This is very similar to my family's story. My dad was a high ranking government official and because of whom we grew up and mingled with the world elite. The government perks made it so we were able to keep up with the Joneses and the prestige his title afforded us more than made up for our lack of actual funds. We wined and dined like the rich and lived like rich even though we had no savings no college funds no home. Ultimately dad retired and his pension isn't enough to keep us afloat. My younger siblings work part time in retail and attend NOVA. I have developed very elite tastes and find it hard to live a "normal" MC life. My parents have no retirement savings and no home. Its awful.

+ 1 I struggle with the same. It's a form of child abuse in my opinion to grow up with pictures that just don't represent the real world in any way.
Good luck to you, don't let the anger eat you up. Jump over your pride. I dug myself out slowly but still feel like a fish out of water.

But what are you all doing as adults? OK, there are reasons to resent parents, but you, yourselves what are you doing to achieve the lifestyle that you want to have?

Well, I do not resent my parents. My parents went broke trying to provide for us the best of everything they had access to-at their own expense. Today they don't even have a home. I am forever grateful to them for introducing me to that world. Even now, people mistake me for an upper class person due to how I naturally carry myself and dress myself. I like to joke about how I am a kind of a white elephant. I relate more to the rich but cannot afford their life. I had to majorly downgrade my lifestyle upon my dad's retirement 5 years ago.

Part of being from that world was...I didn't go to college to earn a living. I studied Literature and am today a very poorly paid admin at a non profit in the area. My parents encouraged me to study what I wanted and to cultivate my mind and tastes and I had no idea that the rug would be pulled out of my feet upon graduation. I have tried to hold on to my old life by attempting to marry rich. HAHA. That did not pan out as my dh, although raised in a similar UC life growing up, also now has to fend for himself because his MC parents went broke financing his very expensive private education and vacations in France. We are both kind of confused, earning a MC living but living among and around the truly rich. I'd go back to school and earn a profitable degree but I have no money and do not want to get into debt. Its really quite a sick joke.

How old are you? Were your parents supporting you after college?

My parents were diplomats and we got to see a little of the lifestyle of the very wealthy. We definitely splurged on some things (vacations and restaurants, on occasion) and I was also encouraged to go to college and study whatever appealed to me. But my parents definitely saved and are in a good retirement situation now. It was a little bit of an awakening for me when I'd graduated from college and still had no idea what to do and realized the jobs I could get with my skills were admin-level work. I went back to grad school and got some hard skills and am in a better position now.

I am 27 years old. What did you go back to school for? I want to go back as well however, I really don't want to go into debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm really not surprised that a seemingly rational and sane person puts himself in a precarious financial state keeping up with the Joneses. This is very similar to my family's story. My dad was a high ranking government official and because of whom we grew up and mingled with the world elite. The government perks made it so we were able to keep up with the Joneses and the prestige his title afforded us more than made up for our lack of actual funds. We wined and dined like the rich and lived like rich even though we had no savings no college funds no home. Ultimately dad retired and his pension isn't enough to keep us afloat. My younger siblings work part time in retail and attend NOVA. I have developed very elite tastes and find it hard to live a "normal" MC life. My parents have no retirement savings and no home. Its awful.

+ 1 I struggle with the same. It's a form of child abuse in my opinion to grow up with pictures that just don't represent the real world in any way.
Good luck to you, don't let the anger eat you up. Jump over your pride. I dug myself out slowly but still feel like a fish out of water.

But what are you all doing as adults? OK, there are reasons to resent parents, but you, yourselves what are you doing to achieve the lifestyle that you want to have?

Well, I do not resent my parents. My parents went broke trying to provide for us the best of everything they had access to-at their own expense. Today they don't even have a home. I am forever grateful to them for introducing me to that world. Even now, people mistake me for an upper class person due to how I naturally carry myself and dress myself. I like to joke about how I am a kind of a white elephant. I relate more to the rich but cannot afford their life. I had to majorly downgrade my lifestyle upon my dad's retirement 5 years ago.

Part of being from that world was...I didn't go to college to earn a living. I studied Literature and am today a very poorly paid admin at a non profit in the area. My parents encouraged me to study what I wanted and to cultivate my mind and tastes and I had no idea that the rug would be pulled out of my feet upon graduation. I have tried to hold on to my old life by attempting to marry rich. HAHA. That did not pan out as my dh, although raised in a similar UC life growing up, also now has to fend for himself because his MC parents went broke financing his very expensive private education and vacations in France. We are both kind of confused, earning a MC living but living among and around the truly rich. I'd go back to school and earn a profitable degree but I have no money and do not want to get into debt. Its really quite a sick joke.

How old are you? Were your parents supporting you after college?

My parents were diplomats and we got to see a little of the lifestyle of the very wealthy. We definitely splurged on some things (vacations and restaurants, on occasion) and I was also encouraged to go to college and study whatever appealed to me. But my parents definitely saved and are in a good retirement situation now. It was a little bit of an awakening for me when I'd graduated from college and still had no idea what to do and realized the jobs I could get with my skills were admin-level work. I went back to grad school and got some hard skills and am in a better position now.

I am 27 years old. What did you go back to school for? I want to go back as well however, I really don't want to go into debt.

Was there NEVER any money talk in your home growing up? Or when you were going to college? Or when you were graduating? Your parents really NEVER said -- this home and vacations are awesome but they're a perk of dad's job and dad retires in 3 yrs, so you will have to fend for yourself? Did the rug really get pulled out in such a way that one day he retired and you were stunned that the wealthy lifestyle ended? Or did you know these things and have signs and signals but decided you "should" be able to study what you wanted since that's what all your rich friends were doing and thus you got a literature degree?

What's your plan now? What do you WANT to go to school for - if anything? Do you look at salary ranges of various professions when considering future education plans, or will you again get a degree in something you want whether it's marketable or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm really not surprised that a seemingly rational and sane person puts himself in a precarious financial state keeping up with the Joneses. This is very similar to my family's story. My dad was a high ranking government official and because of whom we grew up and mingled with the world elite. The government perks made it so we were able to keep up with the Joneses and the prestige his title afforded us more than made up for our lack of actual funds. We wined and dined like the rich and lived like rich even though we had no savings no college funds no home. Ultimately dad retired and his pension isn't enough to keep us afloat. My younger siblings work part time in retail and attend NOVA. I have developed very elite tastes and find it hard to live a "normal" MC life. My parents have no retirement savings and no home. Its awful.

Where do your parent's live?
It's said that one shouldn't wander over to the luxurious side of life or it's hard to go back!!
Good luck to you.

Don't want to say for privacy reasons. It is really quite miserable. We all feel pretty shell shocked. I'm grateful I still managed to get my college paid for. My younger siblings are working retail and going to NOVA.

Oh, for God's sake. Take responsibility for your life, as the rest of us do. "shell-shocked" - GMAFB

NP here. What strikes me about this is that in the previous response, this person says they are thankful college was paid for. Really? So your homeless parents have no retirement funds because they paid for your college (among other things, but college is a big ticket item), and now you lament their living situation but are glad you go what you got when the going was good?!
My first thought would have been how they should have saved that money for their retirement and had you take loans like your siblings.
You still sound entitled and clueless about this. I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm really not surprised that a seemingly rational and sane person puts himself in a precarious financial state keeping up with the Joneses. This is very similar to my family's story. My dad was a high ranking government official and because of whom we grew up and mingled with the world elite. The government perks made it so we were able to keep up with the Joneses and the prestige his title afforded us more than made up for our lack of actual funds. We wined and dined like the rich and lived like rich even though we had no savings no college funds no home. Ultimately dad retired and his pension isn't enough to keep us afloat. My younger siblings work part time in retail and attend NOVA. I have developed very elite tastes and find it hard to live a "normal" MC life. My parents have no retirement savings and no home. Its awful.

Where do your parent's live?
It's said that one shouldn't wander over to the luxurious side of life or it's hard to go back!!
Good luck to you.

Don't want to say for privacy reasons. It is really quite miserable. We all feel pretty shell shocked. I'm grateful I still managed to get my college paid for. My younger siblings are working retail and going to NOVA.

Oh, for God's sake. Take responsibility for your life, as the rest of us do. "shell-shocked" - GMAFB

NP here. What strikes me about this is that in the previous response, this person says they are thankful college was paid for. Really? So your homeless parents have no retirement funds because they paid for your college (among other things, but college is a big ticket item), and now you lament their living situation but are glad you go what you got when the going was good?!
My first thought would have been how they should have saved that money for their retirement and had you take loans like your siblings.
You still sound entitled and clueless about this. I don't get it.

NP here. I'm not excusing the PP, but I assumed that when they said they managed to get college paid for, that it was paid for through scholarships / fellowships and not through the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't quite me and I haven't made as many dumb financial decisions as the writer, but I am unlike most on DCUM, at least.

I am a single parent. I finally hit $90K this year. I could pay the $2000, but I would only have $4000 left in my emergency fund. I have enough saved for two years of state college for my teen. I have more than $4000 credit card debt, left over from a medical emergency. I have retirement savings, but nowhere near enough for someone who is 50.

I disagree that working hard equates to your income going up on a steady trajectory. I'm a writer/editor. Journalism has imploded over the last couple decades. I stay because I love what I do and I don't think I have the temperament or right kind of smarts to be a lobbyist or IT professional to rake in the big bucks.

I'm not exactly close to the edge, but closer than I'd like, and no one in real life knows that.

So the person you procreated with isn't financially supporting your teen? I'm a good writer and may have wanted journalism, but I wanted to be financially secure so I went into law. Where did you decide you had the luxury of going into a disappearing, very middle class profession?

You answered your own question. I'm not a lawyer because I don't want to be a pompous snob like you. Plus, there has never been a father in the picture. And journalism wasn't in a death spiral when I went into it in the late 80s.

So wanting to be financially secure = pompous snob? Jealous much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm really not surprised that a seemingly rational and sane person puts himself in a precarious financial state keeping up with the Joneses. This is very similar to my family's story. My dad was a high ranking government official and because of whom we grew up and mingled with the world elite. The government perks made it so we were able to keep up with the Joneses and the prestige his title afforded us more than made up for our lack of actual funds. We wined and dined like the rich and lived like rich even though we had no savings no college funds no home. Ultimately dad retired and his pension isn't enough to keep us afloat. My younger siblings work part time in retail and attend NOVA. I have developed very elite tastes and find it hard to live a "normal" MC life. My parents have no retirement savings and no home. Its awful.

+ 1 I struggle with the same. It's a form of child abuse in my opinion to grow up with pictures that just don't represent the real world in any way.
Good luck to you, don't let the anger eat you up. Jump over your pride. I dug myself out slowly but still feel like a fish out of water.

But what are you all doing as adults? OK, there are reasons to resent parents, but you, yourselves what are you doing to achieve the lifestyle that you want to have?

Well, I do not resent my parents. My parents went broke trying to provide for us the best of everything they had access to-at their own expense. Today they don't even have a home. I am forever grateful to them for introducing me to that world. Even now, people mistake me for an upper class person due to how I naturally carry myself and dress myself. I like to joke about how I am a kind of a white elephant. I relate more to the rich but cannot afford their life. I had to majorly downgrade my lifestyle upon my dad's retirement 5 years ago.

Part of being from that world was...I didn't go to college to earn a living. I studied Literature and am today a very poorly paid admin at a non profit in the area. My parents encouraged me to study what I wanted and to cultivate my mind and tastes and I had no idea that the rug would be pulled out of my feet upon graduation. I have tried to hold on to my old life by attempting to marry rich. HAHA. That did not pan out as my dh, although raised in a similar UC life growing up, also now has to fend for himself because his MC parents went broke financing his very expensive private education and vacations in France. We are both kind of confused, earning a MC living but living among and around the truly rich. I'd go back to school and earn a profitable degree but I have no money and do not want to get into debt. Its really quite a sick joke.

How old are you? Were your parents supporting you after college?

My parents were diplomats and we got to see a little of the lifestyle of the very wealthy. We definitely splurged on some things (vacations and restaurants, on occasion) and I was also encouraged to go to college and study whatever appealed to me. But my parents definitely saved and are in a good retirement situation now. It was a little bit of an awakening for me when I'd graduated from college and still had no idea what to do and realized the jobs I could get with my skills were admin-level work. I went back to grad school and got some hard skills and am in a better position now.

I am 27 years old. What did you go back to school for? I want to go back as well however, I really don't want to go into debt.

Oh FFS, PP. You have no marketable skills, a low income, and want to go back to school - but you don't want to do into debt? You sound like you still expect/want everything handed to you. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't think I know anyone personally who couldn't pay $400 or even 2k for an emergency like the writer. And DH and I come from middle class families with blue collar or middle class jobs. Maybe our younger, early 20s sisters couldn't cope with emergencies, but they're just starting out and graduating.

The recipe for success in America isn't that hard. Graduate, get married and don't have kids until you're married with dual incomes.

oh yea, it is that simple. just 1, 2,3. Shit never happens.

Are you young and inexperienced or just a simpleton? Life does not go along a straight line.

I went to college, graduate school, got laid off from a Fortune 500, unemployed for over a year. Found a job and got laid off after less than a year and did contract jobs in the past year for 6 months. I've been living off my savings in between the long-term unemployment, so I cannot move-up from a townhouse to a single family house, because I'm spending my down payment.

That was the recipe for staying out of poverty. Obviously you still have a house and are not in poverty. They did a long term study and it worked for 90% of people.

Exactly. PP has savings and a townhouse. There are people who don't have a month's worth of expenses in the bank and would have not been able to remain in their townhouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm really not surprised that a seemingly rational and sane person puts himself in a precarious financial state keeping up with the Joneses. This is very similar to my family's story. My dad was a high ranking government official and because of whom we grew up and mingled with the world elite. The government perks made it so we were able to keep up with the Joneses and the prestige his title afforded us more than made up for our lack of actual funds. We wined and dined like the rich and lived like rich even though we had no savings no college funds no home. Ultimately dad retired and his pension isn't enough to keep us afloat. My younger siblings work part time in retail and attend NOVA. I have developed very elite tastes and find it hard to live a "normal" MC life. My parents have no retirement savings and no home. Its awful.

+ 1 I struggle with the same. It's a form of child abuse in my opinion to grow up with pictures that just don't represent the real world in any way.
Good luck to you, don't let the anger eat you up. Jump over your pride. I dug myself out slowly but still feel like a fish out of water.

But what are you all doing as adults? OK, there are reasons to resent parents, but you, yourselves what are you doing to achieve the lifestyle that you want to have?

Well, I do not resent my parents. My parents went broke trying to provide for us the best of everything they had access to-at their own expense. Today they don't even have a home. I am forever grateful to them for introducing me to that world. Even now, people mistake me for an upper class person due to how I naturally carry myself and dress myself. I like to joke about how I am a kind of a white elephant. I relate more to the rich but cannot afford their life. I had to majorly downgrade my lifestyle upon my dad's retirement 5 years ago.

Part of being from that world was...I didn't go to college to earn a living. I studied Literature and am today a very poorly paid admin at a non profit in the area. My parents encouraged me to study what I wanted and to cultivate my mind and tastes and I had no idea that the rug would be pulled out of my feet upon graduation. I have tried to hold on to my old life by attempting to marry rich. HAHA. That did not pan out as my dh, although raised in a similar UC life growing up, also now has to fend for himself because his MC parents went broke financing his very expensive private education and vacations in France. We are both kind of confused, earning a MC living but living among and around the truly rich. I'd go back to school and earn a profitable degree but I have no money and do not want to get into debt. Its really quite a sick joke.

How old are you? Were your parents supporting you after college?

My parents were diplomats and we got to see a little of the lifestyle of the very wealthy. We definitely splurged on some things (vacations and restaurants, on occasion) and I was also encouraged to go to college and study whatever appealed to me. But my parents definitely saved and are in a good retirement situation now. It was a little bit of an awakening for me when I'd graduated from college and still had no idea what to do and realized the jobs I could get with my skills were admin-level work. I went back to grad school and got some hard skills and am in a better position now.

I am 27 years old. What did you go back to school for? I want to go back as well however, I really don't want to go into debt.

Was there NEVER any money talk in your home growing up? Or when you were going to college? Or when you were graduating? Your parents really NEVER said -- this home and vacations are awesome but they're a perk of dad's job and dad retires in 3 yrs, so you will have to fend for yourself? Did the rug really get pulled out in such a way that one day he retired and you were stunned that the wealthy lifestyle ended? Or did you know these things and have signs and signals but decided you "should" be able to study what you wanted since that's what all your rich friends were doing and thus you got a literature degree?

What's your plan now? What do you WANT to go to school for - if anything? Do you look at salary ranges of various professions when considering future education plans, or will you again get a degree in something you want whether it's marketable or not?

Money was talked about constantly, especially how despite what it looks like, we don't actually have much. My parents started to encourage me to go to medical school but soon realized that wasn't where my strengths lay. They then encouraged me to do whatever I wanted. Also, growing up in that bubble, I did not quite understand the logistics of not having money. I thought it meant not being able to buy $1000 shoes. It did not compute that it would also mean, no vacations, no house, small wedding etc. Later on, I made a half hearted attempt to marry rich but that didn't pan out as I realized my BF/Fiance/now DH was very solidly MC but like me appears UC due to his mannerisms and habits because of how he was raised. We are kind of a perfect match in that sense haha.

[Anonymous]

You can't seriously be this naïve at 27. Having no money means not buying $1,000 shoes (!)