How intellectually mature is the average HS senior/lifer at Sidwell,Maret,GDS,Cathedral Schools ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP- My DH teaches some courses at a MD state university. I didn't believe him when he told me about parents emailing him until he showed me the emails. It happens every semester. He said that some of the parents are outraged that he won't discuss their child's grades, etc with them. They go on and on about how they are paying the bill so they should be kept "in the loop" about their child. He also told me that they have to push the parents off campus during freshman move-in/orientation. They have a separate orientation for them b/c parents would hover in their kids' dorm rooms and apts. The RAs at the school where he teaches give out business cards w/ their names and contact info to parents b/c parents demand to know what is going on with their child. Of course, this isn't all parents but that is crazy to me.

That is just insane!!! The country really is going to shit. How pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I dunno -- "after 14 years of high-powered private schooling, did your kids turn out to be thoughtful and intellectually engaged people or exceptionally well-trained performing seals (and do you credit or blame the school or yourselves for this outcome)?" strikes me as a question someone might wonder about. And, for that matter, a question than many potential respondents might well take offense at. Mystery solved.

10 years into the process, DC seems firmly on the former path and I think that's because school and home reinforced each others' values. At least that's what I take away when I look at DC's schoolmates, some of whom are like DC, but most of whom aren't. Where I think school makes the most difference is when you have a kid whose personality or interests start(s) out different from his or her parents and who ends up at a school that's a good fit for the kid.

I'm not sure to whom you are writing and what point you are making. As far as brand is concerned in the mid-1990s when I bought my car a FORD was a FORD and a TOYOTA was TOYOTA. I got a lousy return on my investment with the FORD. I got an excellent ROI with the TOYOTA. Education is no different.

Why would I spend $30,000/ year for an private primary school education in the D.C. area. This is a lousy ROI in my opinion. The public magnet schools are a far superior eduactional brand. Therefore, my children went to the public school magnets for primary education. There received a far superior return on that investment. "High-powered private primary school" does not equal superior education in the D.C. area. For those struggling with their underwater mortgages we have no reason to be part of the educational bubble and sentence our children to worthess underwater educational loans. Therefore, the choice of $45,000/year at Harvard may indeed be a better ROI thatn $35.000/year at Podunk University.

You say these things because you aren't very well-educated yourself and because you don't see any intrinsic value in education.

I am not the pp above, but really, how the heck would you know whether or not the poster is educated. You are just a bully and have no place in an open forum that is supposed to open up conversations, not discourage them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I went to a Big 3 school and in many ways I was immature when I graduated (at 17, not 19). I chose the colleges I applied to based on proximity to skiing. But you know what? It all worked out very well in the end. I think the education I got in HS prepared me well for college and graduate school. I think 17 and 18 year olds are generally going to be immature in at least some ways whether they are at a big 3 school, big 10 school, great public school, crappy public school, whatever. In fact college bound kids at crappy public schools are probably the most mature because they have to be self motivated and independent and are much less likley to be helicoptered through life. So maybe that's where you need to be focusing your energy.

Our teenage DC so far are looking for: Division 1 sports, preferably ACC football (as a spectator, not player); great skiing at outdoor activities (thinking UColorado at Boulder); great city and shopping (thinking NYU or Georgetown); warm weather, good football (thinking a Florida state school); medical college on campus (thinking Florida, Pittsburgh or VCU). They all rank decent dining hall as important. That's what's important to them; what's important to you?

Would you mind sharing where you went to school and where your DC is currently a student. Again, not to generalize, but just trying to get a sense apart from what the AD's and the brochures tell you about a school. thanks

Is this because the post makes you want to apply to PP's son's school, or the opposite? Because everything about PP's (wonderful, i think, showing respect for her DC) post says a lot about the DC but nothing about his secondary school.

My reasons for my question are my own and they are directed at someone other than you, so bugger off and let the pp answer the question. What are you? The post police?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What you share is VERY interesting. May I ask : where does DH teach ? Myself I think I notice a HUGE change in the kids today too. I think I notice it more than others because I waited until late 30's to have a child. This means that my 60's and 70's era childhood is very different than my DC's. Not having freedom to roam as kids, I suspect is a big contributor to immaturity later. Doubly so, if you have a boy. I saw this played out in stark relief yesterday at a rainy Stoddard soccer game : A 9 year old boy was screaming at his mother "get me out of here,Mom". I guess he was cold, but seriously !!! "get me out of here" What is she a chauffer, a fixer. Put on a damn coat, run around, get back on the field anything....but OMG What the F**K is wrong with a kid like that.

Boy, you are just a model of compassion. I have a 9-y-o boy who would act just like that because he's autistic and sometimes he completely freaks out in those kinds of situations. Actually he is rarely in such situations because I know he can't handle them, but every once in a while they are unavoidable. I'm glad to know you are out there judging me. He also has a great deal of wonderful gifts and, because of all his therapy, is far more tuned in to his emotions than an average boy his age, but if he had been outside yesterday, be would have lost it completely. Yes, he most likely would have been screaming. And he can go to any damn college he wants. He'll probably be ready to start (still living at home) around age 15/16, but he most likely still won't be able to handle cold, wet weather. So next time stop to think the there is something medically "the F**K wrong with a kid like that" and say a little thank you that you don't have to take your kids to lifelong more than once weekly therapy to get your kid to a point where he can actually handle wearing a jacket without screaming at the intense discomfort. Have a lovely Sunday. My 9-y-o is taking a nap as usual because he gets so exhausted from school and therapy that he often naps in addition to his full night of sleep.

Sorry for your son, but do you always personalize? I was there, you were not. The kid was just a BRAT. This thread is not about Autism either ,BTW. Its about many things, but not that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is hysterical. OP asks a relatively educated & interesting question ("To what extent do the local elite private schools encourage their students to think for themselves & act independently?") and out come the most bizarre collection of responses. Like what, 2 people, have engaged in a substantive conversation on what should be an interesting topic to all of us?

So far, you all have accused OP of being a bad writer, a bad mother, not knowing her own child, caring more about a brand than a kid, pushing her kid harder than she should, being a jerk to people on DCUM, and hating the autistic. Because she asked whether you though your DC's schools encouraged them to think independently! OP, carry on. At least a few of us think you're the normal one.

I encourage you to look at schools outside Washington. The boarding schools are at a Secondary Schools Conference at Norwood next week. Might be worth investigating.

Thank You ! I was really beginning to wonder what planet this was. LOL

[Anonymous]

Try, Acutely Spoiled Disorder

That's more like it in this part of town. Overly diagnosed and overly medicated brats like their parents (similar to the tobacco habits of the Marlboro generation)!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Try, Acutely Spoiled Disorder

That's more like it in this part of town. Overly diagnosed and overly medicated brats like their parents (similar to the tobacco habits of the Marlboro generation)!

Another DCUM thread bashing the disabled. Would any of you heartless bitches like to care for my autistic son for a day? An hour?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not sure to whom you are writing and what point you are making. As far as brand is concerned in the mid-1990s when I bought my car a FORD was a FORD and a TOYOTA was TOYOTA. I got a lousy return on my investment with the FORD. I got an excellent ROI with the TOYOTA. Education is no different.

Why would I spend $30,000/ year for an private primary school education in the D.C. area. This is a lousy ROI in my opinion. The public magnet schools are a far superior eduactional brand. Therefore, my children went to the public school magnets for primary education. There received a far superior return on that investment. "High-powered private primary school" does not equal superior education in the D.C. area. For those struggling with their underwater mortgages we have no reason to be part of the educational bubble and sentence our children to worthess underwater educational loans. Therefore, the choice of $45,000/year at Harvard may indeed be a better ROI thatn $35.000/year at Podunk University.

You say these things because you aren't very well-educated yourself and because you don't see any intrinsic value in education.

I am not the pp above, but really, how the heck would you know whether or not the poster is educated. You are just a bully and have no place in an open forum that is supposed to open up conversations, not discourage them

Poor reading comprehension, analysis, and writing skills, as manifested in her posts. I didn't say she wasn't educated -- just that she wasn't very well-educated and that she didn't appreciate education except as a means to money-making. So, to me, that's not a person whose opinion on school choice is worth taking seriously. She doesn't know or care what she (or her kids) missed.

[Anonymous]

What is a real education? Why does a real education cost $30,000/year in your world? Does one have to spend $30,000/year at your child's school to get a "real" education? Preposterous faulty thinking in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a real education? Why does a real education cost $30,000/year in your world? Does one have to spend $30,000/year at your child's school to get a "real" education? Preposterous faulty thinking in my opinion.

People like throwing around the $30,000 number and expressing shock that education should cost so much. But everyone forgets that at local public schools, the average spend is something like $15,000 or more per student, and many would agree that local public schools are underfunded. So if you want to put it in dollar terms, I think the real question is whether a private school education is twice as good as a public school education (and maybe less than that). I think for many families, the answer is yes.

Obviously the actual dollars spent by a private school family are much higher, because in addition to paying for private school education, they're also effectively subsidizing all the students in public schools by paying their taxes but not using the public school resources. But that extra subsidy cost isn't really relevant when you're trying to compare the relative value of two different educations on a dollar-cost basis.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your short, sweet, simple, concise and clear definition of what real education is and how much it costs. Since I homeschooled my national merit finalists and Ivy graduates they both lack a real education. I prefer their unreal education to your real variety. You can pay $30,000/yr for 12 years of primary and secondary education. Lest I forget, in addition to your annual real estate taxes -- a partial subsidy for public school education. But, I suspect you're a lifelong renter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a real education? Why does a real education cost $30,000/year in your world? Does one have to spend $30,000/year at your child's school to get a "real" education? Preposterous faulty thinking in my opinion.

People like throwing around the $30,000 number and expressing shock that education should cost so much. But everyone forgets that at local public schools, the average spend is something like $15,000 or more per student, and many would agree that local public schools are underfunded. So if you want to put it in dollar terms, I think the real question is whether a private school education is twice as good as a public school education (and maybe less than that). I think for many families, the answer is yes.

Obviously the actual dollars spent by a private school family are much higher, because in addition to paying for private school education, they're also effectively subsidizing all the students in public schools by paying their taxes but not using the public school resources. But that extra subsidy cost isn't really relevant when you're trying to compare the relative value of two different educations on a dollar-cost basis.

While I don't quibble with those who choose private schools and are able to pay the tuition (I don't get choosing private when you can't afford it), I find the "logic" that "$30,000 isn't really $30,000 because it's only twice the public school . . . " silly. I get that some people feel the need to rationalize their choices, and that's too bad, but no need to call the $30,000 anything other than what it is -- $30,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I don't quibble with those who choose private schools and are able to pay the tuition (I don't get choosing private when you can't afford it), I find the "logic" that "$30,000 isn't really $30,000 because it's only twice the public school . . . " silly. I get that some people feel the need to rationalize their choices, and that's too bad, but no need to call the $30,000 anything other than what it is -- $30,000.

You might be missing my point. I was responding to this rhetorical question from some PP: "Why does a real education cost $30,000/year in your world? Does one have to spend $30,000/year at your child's school to get a "real" education?". I took her implication to be something along the lines of "A real education shouldn't cost $30k, so private schools are a waste of money!" And my response is that even in underfunded public schools, education costs $15k+. So if you're trying to think about how much a "real education" should cost, the baseline is $15k -- and each family needs to decide for itself whether spending an extra $15k on top of that is worth is for private schools.

While I appreciate your concern, I'm not trying to rationalize any choice of mine. I'm just trying to clarify the terms of the comparison.

[Anonymous]

And to clarify again, so you don't misunderstand ... by "spending an extra $15k on top of that," I mean participating in a school that spends an extra $15k per pupil. Obviously a family paying tuition is paying more than that.

[Anonymous]

PP, I see what you're saying -- I hadn't bothered to decipher what the poster you answered was trying to say.
What's remarkable to me is how people (such as that pp) feel the need to comment on how I spend my money. We have kids over a 10 year age span. The older ones went to public schools. Now that $30,000 per kid per year is not so significant to us, we're starting private next year. But I never imagined that others would have such a strong opinion on what I choose to do with my money. (I am starting have an issue with how much of my money will go to subsidize others who choose private and then seek FA. When we weren't comfortable paying the tuition, we went public. I don't really want to pay for your kids to go private when I sent my own kids to public).