Financial aid "dried up"

[Anonymous]

With finite dollars FA candidates must bring something to the private school table (community) in exchange for aid. That's life.

[Anonymous]

I think that there are some good points made on this thread--the trickiest is *when and why* financial aid should be given. I know very few parents who resent giving financial aid when it is truly needed AND changes the trajectory of a child's life. Giving financial aid to middle class kids presents a different problem-sure they *need* it to attend private school, but realistically their outcomes in life will probably be ok if they didn't attend private school because their parents will have the means to get them into some good public school, etc. ...

The sadder question is why the generosity of parents can't be funneled to kids where admission truly could do something to change a child's course, break generational poverty, etc. instead of to middle class families.

I passionately agree with this.

In fact, as a true middle class family that goes without all the frills now (by choice, yes), it infuriates me that our kumbaya school is incessantly asking us for money give to another true middle class family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it is as black and white as some make it out to be. The avg financial aid grant at most schools is between $10-15K. That still leaves ~$15-20K tuition responsibility for parents. To achieve "socio-economic" diversity, the grants would have to be a lot larger for a family of three or four making less than $100K to send kids to private schools. In case some of you forgot, $15-20K is a lot of money for the kind of people financial aid programs were originally supposed to help.

What is the answer? Do you offer larger grants to one or two people or smaller grants to 20 people? How many low income families can really afford $15K? Achieving socio-economic diversity also includes incorporating middle class families into the mix because, let's face it, a lot of middle class families can afford to pay $15-$20K/child but can not afford $30K/child.

Private school tuition has risen ~38-40% in the last five years. With the excpetion of the truly wealthy and those professions that rake in six figure bonuses, other salaries have not risen proportionately to that level. I think this is why more middle class families are making a plea for financial aid. Another thing to consider is the socialization and assimilation required for poor children who otherwise wouldn't be able to attend private school but for financial aid. How many of you so-called "full-freighters" are willing to help that FAMILY become a part of the school? The children to whom you are trying to funnel your financial aid dollars have way more problems than their parents' lack of resources. In some cases, these children live in homes where there is no food, no lights, no clothes, no healthcare, etc... Most of you complaining about helping other people send their children to private school have healthy doses of wealth insecurity and begrude anyone needing help. You're on here bragging about your 4-figure or mid 4-figure annual fund donations when really... the truly wealthy donors contribute homes, private jets, $30K+ and signifcantly more to the annual fund and auction to help those less fortunate. They also build fields and buildings to offset the operating costs of the school. You 4-figure braggards will never know true philanthropy and for that... you hate on those who seek assistance and castigate them for not sacrificing (by your definition).

Let's be clear about philanthropy please. If someone donates a "4-figure" sum and they chose to do so even though it "hurts," that's philanthropy. If someone donates $10 and it "hurts," that's philanthropy. Philanthropy is about choosing to donate even though it means you might have to "do without" as a result. I, for one, respect that FAR more than the 3rd generation lay-about who writes a check from the family trust and looks around for approval for his "generous" gift.

The 3rd generation lay-about doesn't have shaky hands when giving nor does he/she threaten to withhold money because they assume others aren't working hard enough for what they want. True philanthropy doesn't have strings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think that there are some good points made on this thread--the trickiest is *when and why* financial aid should be given. I know very few parents who resent giving financial aid when it is truly needed AND changes the trajectory of a child's life. Giving financial aid to middle class kids presents a different problem-sure they *need* it to attend private school, but realistically their outcomes in life will probably be ok if they didn't attend private school because their parents will have the means to get them into some good public school, etc. ...

The sadder question is why the generosity of parents can't be funneled to kids where admission truly could do something to change a child's course, break generational poverty, etc. instead of to middle class families.

I passionately agree with this.

In fact, as a true middle class family that goes without all the frills now (by choice, yes), it infuriates me that our kumbaya school is incessantly asking us for money give to another true middle class family.

Yep--that is where resentment comes in. Perfectly said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think that there are some good points made on this thread--the trickiest is *when and why* financial aid should be given. I know very few parents who resent giving financial aid when it is truly needed AND changes the trajectory of a child's life. Giving financial aid to middle class kids presents a different problem-sure they *need* it to attend private school, but realistically their outcomes in life will probably be ok if they didn't attend private school because their parents will have the means to get them into some good public school, etc. ...

The sadder question is why the generosity of parents can't be funneled to kids where admission truly could do something to change a child's course, break generational poverty, etc. instead of to middle class families.

I passionately agree with this.

In fact, as a true middle class family that goes without all the frills now (by choice, yes), it infuriates me that our kumbaya school is incessantly asking us for money give to another true middle class family.

Yep--that is where resentment comes in. Perfectly said.

NP on this thread ... I do agree that it is disheartening to see families get aid who benefit from it but could honestly do without it just as my family does. The truth is, truly poor kids' families could never come up with even 30 percent of the tuition if they received the other 70 percent from the school. And most schools do require that families contribute some portion of tuition to ensure that they truly want to be there and are dedicated, involved members of the community. Most private school communities are very small, so it is difficult to raise this issue with school administrators without sounding heartless, judgmental, and so on. Perhaps I really AM those things, because I really feel my donation dollars are needed much more at shelters and food banks. Middle class families have a lot of school options and really are as "needy" as so many other organizations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With finite dollars FA candidates must bring something to the private school table (community) in exchange for aid. That's life.

True. I know many people including my best friend from college who attended elite private boarding schools on FA. They were all academic superstars and/or athletes (like world class) They would be standouts anywhere and brought a lot to the school. Most were offered many incentives to attend and could have gone anywhere. Not your average "good" student...

[Anonymous]

P.S. All were from middle class or above backgrounds.

[Anonymous]

[i][quote][b]... The sadder question is why the generosity of parents can't be funneled to kids where admission truly could do something to change a child's course, break generational poverty, etc. instead of to middle class families. ... I passionately agree with this. ... it infuriates me that our ... school is incessantly asking us for money give to another true middle class family. [/b][/quote][/i]

Another NP, who shares these sentiments. We had always assumed that FA went to the truly neediest of students who are academic, artistic, athletic standouts, or students who show leadership potential and/or just poor families whose children would benefit from receiving a decent education they could not/would not otherwise receive. So it was surprising to me to learn that many middle and upper middle class families receive FA from our school (high/upper school). Tuition, books, fees and donations of $35,000 plus a year is a big deal for us, but we see it as a choice; not a need and never would have considered asking for FA to supplement what is basically a luxury - a choice. I am generally a very generous person and am the first person to volunteer to help and want to donate to those less fortunate, but I have to say that I feel resentful that our hard earned money goes to supplement other middle/upper middle class families's choices. I have seen families receive FA because of debts they choose to take on - cars, vacations, etc. I understand a school is trying to balance its student body, but it does bother me that we are helping to pay the tuition of other students who are not truly needy and in most cases are not outstanding students. Not sure if the school is aware of these feelings among its parents.

[Anonymous]

I disagree
Families wanting the best education for their children is not a luxury.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I have seen families receive FA because of debts they choose to take on - cars, vacations, etc. [/quote]

How on earth are all of you people so certain about who does or doesn't receive financial aid? Do you all work for the National Association of Independent Schools as financial aid form processors? Or are all of you drinking buddies with dissolute financial aid officers at your child's school? I am amazed at the amount of confidential information each of you has collected. Do tell your sources!

[Anonymous]

Didn't have the time to read this whole thread, but if OP is still following it, I'd say to go ahead with the Holton application. They place a HUGE value on being able to provide financial aid and have significantly increased the proportion of their budget attributed to it since the downtown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree
Families wanting the best education for their children is not a luxury.

Ok. I guess I just don't want the best education for my children. Yours is a ridiculous statement.

[Anonymous]

"downtown" should have been "downturn." Sorry.

[Anonymous]

You would be surprised how many recipients are dumb enough to tell their "friends."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I disagree
Families wanting the best education for their children is not a luxury.

Private school is a luxury. No one should be expected to foot the bill for someone else's child. Those of us who pay tuition still subsidize the public schools through our taxes (rightly so), should we also be expected to subsidize the tuition of those who choose to go to private school? You are also making a big assumption that privates are always better. There is a big element of snobbery in choosing private school.