Can we discuss the cost of competitive sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our daughter was recruited by Deerfield for hockey, and the price would have been around $30k/year, but we are not prep school people and want our kids at home.

I don’t know…basically they could have attended one of the best schools in the country (where 40% of the school is on significant FA…so your kid would not have been an outlier) and played hockey for free…so it’s a wash on costs…and you probably travel a ton anyway…so you could travel to watch your kid play hockey…seems like a strange decision unless your kid actually had no interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that I've recently asked myself: what if we had invested all the money we spent on travel sports into a UTMA for our kid? The total amount would likely exceed $200k with market growth, and it would continue to grow. That would be enough to fund a house down payment someday. Was it worth it?

Fortunately, we didn't play travel sports at the expense of saving for college, but there were tradeoffs.

Did your kid have FUN? More fun than watching their college savings grow?

-Jokes on you, I already posted above college is paid for. -However, it is an important consideration for anyone in competitive anything for their kids.

WTF do you mean “jokes on me”? I was asking if your kid had fun.

My kids play sports because they’re fun.

You sound like both an idiot AND an @$$hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that I've recently asked myself: what if we had invested all the money we spent on travel sports into a UTMA for our kid? The total amount would likely exceed $200k with market growth, and it would continue to grow. That would be enough to fund a house down payment someday. Was it worth it?

Fortunately, we didn't play travel sports at the expense of saving for college, but there were tradeoffs.

Did your kid have FUN? More fun than watching their college savings grow?

So money's main purpose should be fun? I mean, I like it in theory. Maybe we should've spent the travel sports money on travel that was fun for the whole family, like longer, more fun ski vacations, learning to scuba dive and surf, and seeing more of the world together.

I don't know, but it was a lot of money on a sport that I don't think changed their character or life trajectory more than a less expensive sport might have. I know some people don't like to look back and wonder, but I don't mind doing it out loud to help younger parents think a little harder.

Who said anything about main purpose?

But yeah, I work and earn money so that I can actually enjoy my life, and I want the same for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our daughter was recruited by Deerfield for hockey, and the price would have been around $30k/year, but we are not prep school people and want our kids at home.

I don’t know…basically they could have attended one of the best schools in the country (where 40% of the school is on significant FA…so your kid would not have been an outlier) and played hockey for free…so it’s a wash on costs…and you probably travel a ton anyway…so you could travel to watch your kid play hockey…seems like a strange decision unless your kid actually had no interest.

She was definitely interested, but our opinion is that we only have a certain amount of time with our kids, and we don’t want to lose any of that time. We do not mind the travel. Some of our best conversations have been on th long car rides to tournaments. For hockey, it is not that much of a cost savings anyway. The majority of kids at prep school also have to join a Tier 1 team for the shoulder/split season. That means in addition to paying for Prep school, you are paying for Tier 1 hockey. Which has a whole other host of logistical challenges: figuring out how to get your kid who is hundreds of miles away to prep practice, games, and tournaments. Some prep schools have arrangements with Tier 1 teams to help with the logistics, but most do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread reminds me of how off the rails youth sports has gone.

I have the travel softball player. Rec is about 1/3 the cost if we play all available seasons, and also about 1/3 the practice and game time. So...proportionate.

Our rec softball league is $100 per season, so playing spring and fall it's less than a tenth of the cost people are listing here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP but you are insane if you think you need to indulge your kids' unrealistic and unaffordable childhood hobbies in order to have a relationship with them when they are adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP but you are insane if you think you need to indulge your kids' unrealistic and unaffordable childhood hobbies in order to have a relationship with them when they are adults.

That was not the implication. Utterly disregarding your children’s interests in the name of authority is what will cause them to not take much of an interest in you in your dotage.

And we’re not discussing unrealistic and unaffordable hobbies in this thread. We’re discussing common and expensive hobbies. See the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP but you are insane if you think you need to indulge your kids' unrealistic and unaffordable childhood hobbies in order to have a relationship with them when they are adults.

That was not the implication. Utterly disregarding your children’s interests in the name of authority is what will cause them to not take much of an interest in you in your dotage.

And we’re not discussing unrealistic and unaffordable hobbies in this thread. We’re discussing common and expensive hobbies. See the difference?

Sports hobbies are indeed unrealistic if the parental unit imagines a professional athletic career in the offspring's future and thus pursues ever more costly sports regimes in pursuit of such goal. What may be deemed, a strong case of the delulus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP but you are insane if you think you need to indulge your kids' unrealistic and unaffordable childhood hobbies in order to have a relationship with them when they are adults.

That was not the implication. Utterly disregarding your children’s interests in the name of authority is what will cause them to not take much of an interest in you in your dotage.

And we’re not discussing unrealistic and unaffordable hobbies in this thread. We’re discussing common and expensive hobbies. See the difference?

Sports hobbies are indeed unrealistic if the parental unit imagines a professional athletic career in the offspring's future and thus pursues ever more costly sports regimes in pursuit of such goal. What may be deemed, a strong case of the delulus.

And yet, completely outside the scope of this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP but you are insane if you think you need to indulge your kids' unrealistic and unaffordable childhood hobbies in order to have a relationship with them when they are adults.

That was not the implication. Utterly disregarding your children’s interests in the name of authority is what will cause them to not take much of an interest in you in your dotage.

And we’re not discussing unrealistic and unaffordable hobbies in this thread. We’re discussing common and expensive hobbies. See the difference?

Sports hobbies are indeed unrealistic if the parental unit imagines a professional athletic career in the offspring's future and thus pursues ever more costly sports regimes in pursuit of such goal. What may be deemed, a strong case of the delulus.

My kids do travel because they are not challenged at a lower level. One has adhd so the intense activity is key for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP but you are insane if you think you need to indulge your kids' unrealistic and unaffordable childhood hobbies in order to have a relationship with them when they are adults.

That was not the implication. Utterly disregarding your children’s interests in the name of authority is what will cause them to not take much of an interest in you in your dotage.

And we’re not discussing unrealistic and unaffordable hobbies in this thread. We’re discussing common and expensive hobbies. See the difference?

“nearly 12k a year (not including meet fees, uniforms, hotels, plane tickets etc). So easily another 5k in some cases (current rate is over 8k a year)”

For many people, that’s expensive and unaffordable. For most people who have ever lived, that’s laughably unrealistic for a child’s sport. Get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP -

LOL - you think your kids are going to call you when they realize that it was actually your dreams they were living? That they didn’t actually have a ‘choice’ because the one time they said they liked hockey after you took them to the Caps game you decided they were a star?

Feel free to vent. And I’ll feel free to remind you that this was your choice. Don’t want to hear that? Don’t complain.

[Anonymous]

On the other had, your kid could turn into that guy who keeps posting here about how unfair it was that his parents never let him play travel sports growing up, and is it normal for mparents to not let their kids play sports because of it would betray expensive if they got hurt….

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP but you are insane if you think you need to indulge your kids' unrealistic and unaffordable childhood hobbies in order to have a relationship with them when they are adults.

That was not the implication. Utterly disregarding your children’s interests in the name of authority is what will cause them to not take much of an interest in you in your dotage.

And we’re not discussing unrealistic and unaffordable hobbies in this thread. We’re discussing common and expensive hobbies. See the difference?

“nearly 12k a year (not including meet fees, uniforms, hotels, plane tickets etc). So easily another 5k in some cases (current rate is over 8k a year)”

For many people, that’s expensive and unaffordable. For most people who have ever lived, that’s laughably unrealistic for a child’s sport. Get some perspective.

If it’s unaffordable, then don’t do it. That’s obvious, and I am truly sorry that you need to have that explained to you.

People on this thread are talking about sports that are indeed expensive, but they can afford it.