If you knew you would inherit $6M, would you do things different?

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Bc I know how much home health care costs, I’m counting on zero. Parent was diagnosed with Parkinson’s out of the blue.

If your parents have a structure already in place - say they have another million or two set aside for their long term care, maybe. But mine just have my dad’s blue collar pension so I’m assuming the full value of their home will be eaten up with health care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We will inherit $7-10M from my in-laws. The only thing we are changing is skipping LTC insurance. We can self insure it if we half to, but in all likelihood will interest before it would happen.

And what are you going to do if your spouse divorces you? That money will not be yours. it is all his.

I hope you are insisting on saving for your retirement.

Good advice.

[Anonymous]

Don't ever count on an inheritance

It's a very very very bad idea

People will make you dance to the death in red shoes and then leave you without anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We will inherit $7-10M from my in-laws. The only thing we are changing is skipping LTC insurance. We can self insure it if we half to, but in all likelihood will interest before it would happen.

And what are you going to do if your spouse divorces you? That money will not be yours. it is all his.

I hope you are insisting on saving for your retirement.

Good advice.

Not enough for "retirement" but when I found out my (now) ex was cheating for sure with a woman at work, I consulted a lawyer and she told me to take out exactly half of our savings and put it into an account in my own name. He absolutely freaked his s*** but he also couldn't argue with me that he'd been having an affair. He's still with that woman. And we're still legally married.

but I put around 300K into an account in my own name and put it into an annuity that I've never touched.

I also regularly started to move money even in small increments into that account in my name. I have like 600K now.

Not enough to retire but it's certainly a protection and he can't touch it. Even if we divorced, our net worth would still make that money entirely mine, cash available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We will inherit $7-10M from my in-laws. The only thing we are changing is skipping LTC insurance. We can self insure it if we half to, but in all likelihood will interest before it would happen.

And what are you going to do if your spouse divorces you? That money will not be yours. it is all his.

I hope you are insisting on saving for your retirement.

Good advice.

Not enough for "retirement" but when I found out my (now) ex was cheating for sure with a woman at work, I consulted a lawyer and she told me to take out exactly half of our savings and put it into an account in my own name. He absolutely freaked his s*** but he also couldn't argue with me that he'd been having an affair. He's still with that woman. And we're still legally married.

but I put around 300K into an account in my own name and put it into an annuity that I've never touched.

I also regularly started to move money even in small increments into that account in my name. I have like 600K now.

Not enough to retire but it's certainly a protection and he can't touch it. Even if we divorced, our net worth would still make that money entirely mine, cash available.

What makes you think he can't touch it if you divorce? Isn't he entitled to half of all marital property? You obviously made the right move to get some money under your sole control for now, but ultimately, isn't it all part of the marriage and subject to division in a divorce? I keep a separate brokerage account for similar reasons, but I don't think it's my sole property.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live nicely in DC area with decent HHI to support our lives however I’m cheap and we don’t have new cars or fancy vacations. I know that I will inherit at least $6M at some point. Parents in late 70’s. Would you do things differently like splurge on vacations?

Not only could your parents could live another 20-25 years, it could be one of those estates (like my grandfather's) that took 10 years to settle. It all depends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The remarriage or new partner is a high possibility for some people. After being together for that many years, it's going to be hard for the surviving parent to get used to being alone and they're likely to see out a new companion. It's more likely a man will remarry (much more on offer due to longer lifespan for women) but either can happen.

My mother sacrificed her whole life to leave money to me and my sister. My dad remarried and left the bulk of his estate to his second wife. My sister and I together received about 10% of the estate.

To reduce the likelihood of this kind from happening (or at least reduce how devastating it would be), my parents split their estate in their 70s (married for 55 years now). When the first one dies, that person's estate will be split between me and my siblings, leaving "only" half for the spouse who is still living. There are also a number of trusts set up. They are fairly well-off so lots of time has gone into estate planning. I know my mom would never remarry. My dad probably would, even in his 80s or 90s, unfortunately. I beg my mom to outlive him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless this money is in trust for you specifically, you don't know whether 6M will still be there when they die, OP. Your parents might live to 90 and need very expensive end of life care. Nursing homes can be 20K a month.

We might inherit a few mil from our parents, but we're not including that in our budget.

That’s 25 years of $20k a month, plus money earns money.

What if both parents require it? What if they really want to stay at home forever? That can run $300-500K/year to have good RELIABLE care. So much could happen, so don't depend upon it until it's officially in your name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless this money is in trust for you specifically, you don't know whether 6M will still be there when they die, OP. Your parents might live to 90 and need very expensive end of life care. Nursing homes can be 20K a month.

We might inherit a few mil from our parents, but we're not including that in our budget.

I don’t think even the most intensive end of life care would burn through 6 mil, but certainly the parents could leave the money to someone else, lose it in a scam, one dies and the other remarries and leaves it all to the new “stepmom” …

Well in home quality reliable care for 24/7 can run $300-400K+/year. More if each parent is in bad enough shape to require an individual aid during waking hours. That is just the care. You still have to maintain the "home" and provide food/electricity/water/garbage/internet/etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Money is so much more useful when you are younger. We inherited some money a couple of years ago at the age of 50. Our kids were already in college/about to start college. We already owned a house etc.

We don’t really need this money as we had saved for college and retirement without knowing we would eventually inherit, and we don’t benefit from it like we would’ve when we were younger (we had some student loans, bought in a not great school district etc.).

I don’t have a direct answer for you but this experience has made us rethink how we can use the money to support our kids while they are in their 20s and 30s rather than just having them inherit it once they are settled and have less need for the money.

Very very true! This is why we are following the "die with nothing" mentality, and gifting away while we are alive. Our 20 something kids had college fully funded, and grad school (if/when they need it) as well. We start them out with a new car upon college graduation (think $35K+ vehicle, will last them at least 10 years), and we gift them $38K yearly (19K*2). So they can max their ROTH and 401Ks and save for a house downpayment. They know any future grandkids will have their education fully funded. They will be able to buy a home that is an easy commute to work for them (and their spouse) so they have a higher quality of life. They will be able to afford the home also in a good school district (or use private). Take away those worries and they are set for life, even if we don't give anything else (they will be getting much more). Because fact is $$$ when you are starting out is worth so much more than when you are 50-60+. It can change the trajectory of your life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Money is so much more useful when you are younger. We inherited some money a couple of years ago at the age of 50. Our kids were already in college/about to start college. We already owned a house etc.

We don’t really need this money as we had saved for college and retirement without knowing we would eventually inherit, and we don’t benefit from it like we would’ve when we were younger (we had some student loans, bought in a not great school district etc.).

I don’t have a direct answer for you but this experience has made us rethink how we can use the money to support our kids while they are in their 20s and 30s rather than just having them inherit it once they are settled and have less need for the money.

Very very true! This is why we are following the "die with nothing" mentality, and gifting away while we are alive. Our 20 something kids had college fully funded, and grad school (if/when they need it) as well. We start them out with a new car upon college graduation (think $35K+ vehicle, will last them at least 10 years), and we gift them $38K yearly (19K*2). So they can max their ROTH and 401Ks and save for a house downpayment. They know any future grandkids will have their education fully funded. They will be able to buy a home that is an easy commute to work for them (and their spouse) so they have a higher quality of life. They will be able to afford the home also in a good school district (or use private). Take away those worries and they are set for life, even if we don't give anything else (they will be getting much more). Because fact is $$$ when you are starting out is worth so much more than when you are 50-60+. It can change the trajectory of your life

Totally agree. We had friends whose parents would pay their annual country club membership every year (plus many other things). Such a nice quality of life thing.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I would learn grammar. That would really make people see me differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i supported my parents through the last 25 years of their life; that was mostly 30k a year until the last several years which turned into more like $200k a year with memory care.

there is currently a generational trust in my spouses family but they are likely to live at least another 25 years. i view the actual inheritance to be the fact that we won't have to monetarily support them in old age. the primary lifestyle change we made is that we did decide to have children; i probably would not have done IVF if there had been any danger of needing to support the previous generation for significant years.

they have set up nice 529s for our children, and they buy the plane tickets for us to visit; those are the primary extent of our planning reliance on their money. (though we still contribute what our state allows for deductions to another 529). spouses tax-advantaged retirement funds are a little light for their age, which likely reflects some unconscious reliance on inheritance but their overall portfolio is fine. i'm contributing the max i can to mine including catch-up.

in short, my perspective is that there is no windfall coming, and i live my life accordingly. our newest car is almost 20 years old and that's completely fine. we have a decent UMC life, and i'm delighted to hopefully have decades where they can enjoy their grandchildren.

$200k a year on memory care is criminal and unnecessary. If this were the going rate, then think of how many people would work as memory care providers 24-7. No college education necessary but you live with someone and they pay you $200k a year. The market for this is incredibly small. Many people paying amounts like this are big spenders their entire life, or taken for a wild ride.

The average length of LTC is 2-4 years. During this time, your money should be growing and if you’re a widow then you should not have any other expenses since you’re not living at home.

I do feel bad for the elderly who spend large portions of their net worth on care, when it truly isn’t necessary. The large corporations providing care aren’t necessarily providing better care as their employees are often paid very little or minimum wage.

2 years may be the average. But I had a relative just spend 8 years in memory care and had they not gotten the flu would be spending another several more years most likely. So it's not unusual to need 5+ years of care. I for one prefer to plan for that and have the money there. And don't count on having it to give as an inheritance until I've been well taken care of

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i supported my parents through the last 25 years of their life; that was mostly 30k a year until the last several years which turned into more like $200k a year with memory care.

there is currently a generational trust in my spouses family but they are likely to live at least another 25 years. i view the actual inheritance to be the fact that we won't have to monetarily support them in old age. the primary lifestyle change we made is that we did decide to have children; i probably would not have done IVF if there had been any danger of needing to support the previous generation for significant years.

they have set up nice 529s for our children, and they buy the plane tickets for us to visit; those are the primary extent of our planning reliance on their money. (though we still contribute what our state allows for deductions to another 529). spouses tax-advantaged retirement funds are a little light for their age, which likely reflects some unconscious reliance on inheritance but their overall portfolio is fine. i'm contributing the max i can to mine including catch-up.

in short, my perspective is that there is no windfall coming, and i live my life accordingly. our newest car is almost 20 years old and that's completely fine. we have a decent UMC life, and i'm delighted to hopefully have decades where they can enjoy their grandchildren.

$200k a year on memory care is criminal and unnecessary. If this were the going rate, then think of how many people would work as memory care providers 24-7. No college education necessary but you live with someone and they pay you $200k a year. The market for this is incredibly small. Many people paying amounts like this are big spenders their entire life, or taken for a wild ride.

The average length of LTC is 2-4 years. During this time, your money should be growing and if you’re a widow then you should not have any other expenses since you’re not living at home.

I do feel bad for the elderly who spend large portions of their net worth on care, when it truly isn’t necessary. The large corporations providing care aren’t necessarily providing better care as their employees are often paid very little or minimum wage.

What are your choices? At home care requires someone to manage constantly, and what do you do if the caregiver doesn't show up? It also is not cheap. A facility costs $$$$$. At the good ones, the care givers are paid decently, yes the corporations get more but I'm not leaving my parents at home with minimum wage care and hope all goes well. You find the best facility you can afford and pay for it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn’t change anything. Act as if you won’t get it. 6 million isn’t enough to live on anymore, so don’t get ahead of your self planning on a possible inheritance.

6m is very conservatively 200k+ per year. You can easily live on that.

I couldn’t but good for you.

+1

I "could" but that is not how I want to live my life at 55+. So we have planned for and have much more so we can live how we want in retirement.