Infatuated with kids friend’s married dad

[Anonymous]

It’s okay to feel torn. It’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, or even a little lost. These feelings don’t make you weak or disloyal. They make you human. Emotions don’t always ask for permission before they show up, but your values and choices still guide what you do next.

Give yourself grace. This is not a reflection of your worth or your loyalty. It is just a moment. And like all moments, this one will pass. You’re navigating something emotionally heavy, and you’re doing it with care. That matters. That counts.

You’re not failing…..you’re feeling. And that’s part of being real.

[Anonymous]

So many people carry these quiet feelings, often with guilt or confusion, and most never say a word. You’re not broken for feeling this way. You’re human.

You’re doing better than you think, just by being aware of your emotions and choosing not to cross any lines. That awareness? That self-restraint? That’s emotional maturity. It’s easy to give in……it’s much harder to hold yourself steady. And you’re doing that, even when it hurts.

It’s okay to feel conflicted. It’s okay to be drawn to someone and still honor the space you’re in. The fact that you care so much about doing the right thing already says everything about your character.

So be gentle with yourself. You’re navigating something emotionally complex, and you’re handling it with care and conscience. That’s not weakness, that’s strength with a quiet voice.

This feeling will fade in time. Crushes don’t last forever, even if they feel consuming in the moment. But what will stay with you is the way you showed up for yourself with grace and restraint.

You are allowed to feel what you feel.
You are not wrong for having emotions.
And you are stronger than you know for choosing integrity over impulse.

You're not lost, you're learning. You're not failing, you're feeling. And that’s part of being beautifully, deeply human.

[Anonymous]

Op, what age range are you? Curious to know hoe old women are and think this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, what age range are you? Curious to know hoe old women are and think this way.

40s…..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, what age range are you? Curious to know hoe old women are and think this way.

40s…..

Google "limerence." This is what you are experiencing, not "a crush."

Therapy would help with the root causes of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know he's romantic?

Frequent compliments, especially about personality, or how I handle things. Offers emotional support that goes beyond what’s typical for a platonic relationship. Prolonged eye contact or a certain intensity in how he looks at me.

That's not romantic.thats inappropriate.
This guy you are crushing on flirts with other women, is open to cheating and does that all in front of his kid
So wonderful

Yeah, he’s a little messy, flirting, chaos, dad life….but I don’t know… maybe I like living on the wild side. Red flags? Babe, I see a carnival. 🎪 And let’s be real—if he flirts this good in public, imagine the private show. 😏

Yikes lol

This is probably chat gpt generated response as a joke.

[Anonymous]

Ya, indeed! LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many people carry these quiet feelings, often with guilt or confusion, and most never say a word. You’re not broken for feeling this way. You’re human.

You’re doing better than you think, just by being aware of your emotions and choosing not to cross any lines. That awareness? That self-restraint? That’s emotional maturity. It’s easy to give in……it’s much harder to hold yourself steady. And you’re doing that, even when it hurts.

It’s okay to feel conflicted. It’s okay to be drawn to someone and still honor the space you’re in. The fact that you care so much about doing the right thing already says everything about your character.

So be gentle with yourself. You’re navigating something emotionally complex, and you’re handling it with care and conscience. That’s not weakness, that’s strength with a quiet voice.

This feeling will fade in time. Crushes don’t last forever, even if they feel consuming in the moment. But what will stay with you is the way you showed up for yourself with grace and restraint.

You are allowed to feel what you feel.
You are not wrong for having emotions.
And you are stronger than you know for choosing integrity over impulse.

You're not lost, you're learning. You're not failing, you're feeling. And that’s part of being beautifully, deeply human.

ChatGPT? It has that vacuous feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know he's romantic?

Frequent compliments, especially about personality, or how I handle things. Offers emotional support that goes beyond what’s typical for a platonic relationship. Prolonged eye contact or a certain intensity in how he looks at me.

That's not romantic.thats inappropriate.
This guy you are crushing on flirts with other women, is open to cheating and does that all in front of his kid
So wonderful

Yeah, he’s a little messy, flirting, chaos, dad life….but I don’t know… maybe I like living on the wild side. Red flags? Babe, I see a carnival. 🎪 And let’s be real—if he flirts this good in public, imagine the private show. 😏

Yikes lol

This is probably chat gpt generated response as a joke.

PP here, I hope for OP’s sake it was

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many people carry these quiet feelings, often with guilt or confusion, and most never say a word. You’re not broken for feeling this way. You’re human.

You’re doing better than you think, just by being aware of your emotions and choosing not to cross any lines. That awareness? That self-restraint? That’s emotional maturity. It’s easy to give in……it’s much harder to hold yourself steady. And you’re doing that, even when it hurts.

It’s okay to feel conflicted. It’s okay to be drawn to someone and still honor the space you’re in. The fact that you care so much about doing the right thing already says everything about your character.

So be gentle with yourself. You’re navigating something emotionally complex, and you’re handling it with care and conscience. That’s not weakness, that’s strength with a quiet voice.

This feeling will fade in time. Crushes don’t last forever, even if they feel consuming in the moment. But what will stay with you is the way you showed up for yourself with grace and restraint.

You are allowed to feel what you feel.
You are not wrong for having emotions.
And you are stronger than you know for choosing integrity over impulse.

You're not lost, you're learning. You're not failing, you're feeling. And that’s part of being beautifully, deeply human.

ChatGPT? It has that vacuous feel.

Maybe, but “vacuous” might be part of the charm. It leaves room for everything else to fill it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, what age range are you? Curious to know hoe old women are and think this way.

40s…..

Google "limerence." This is what you are experiencing, not "a crush."

Therapy would help with the root causes of this.

That’s an interesting point. I hadn’t thought of it in terms of limerence before. I’ll read up on it. Maybe there’s something to unpack there.

[Anonymous]

https://marriagehelper.com/three-stages-madly-love-limerence-dr-joe-show-podcast/

[Anonymous]

You remember when "that mom" showed up at your kids' games? The mom who wore tight, revealing clothes. The one who said inappropriate things in the loudest voice possible?

Yes, friends, she just posted. Even she realized she aged out of showing up at games being "hot as fk". Sadly, she did not see the problem back then.

Wow she really triggered all of you guilty frumps lusting over the married kids’ coaches. Yes- they get teased at home about their “fan club”. You are pretty obvious - such that it’s embarrassing for your husbands.

Learn to read the room, sweetheart. I am a man and posted the post you are replying to.

In you, I see the 13-year-old girl walking around in the early 40s woman's body. You need the validation that men find you attractive (which is the reason you need them to see you "hot as fk") and that women find your DH attractive (which is why "guilty frumps" must lust over your husband). That is the problem - you see yourself as hot instead of cringey.

The truly hot moms are just that. They do not need anyone's validation regarding their attractiveness. And it is those few women the dads lust after, and they lust without genuine care that their DWs find a coach (or other DH) hot.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is the actual nature of your interactions with this guy? Is it just coordinating play date drop offs via text and he throws in a “your brownies at the bake sale last week were so good” type of thing? Is it something more? Because it can be hard for a lot of women on this board to distinguish between normal day to day friendliness and actual flirting / putting feelers out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is the actual nature of your interactions with this guy? Is it just coordinating play date drop offs via text and he throws in a “your brownies at the bake sale last week were so good” type of thing? Is it something more? Because it can be hard for a lot of women on this board to distinguish between normal day to day friendliness and actual flirting / putting feelers out there.

Nothing that feels flirty or out of bounds, just regular parent-to-parent communication. I’ve actually gotten a lot of nice compliments lately on some of the kids' activities I’ve helped organize, so I think it’s just part of that general friendliness. I totally get how it can be hard to tell sometimes, though!