Inclusivity Behind Gated Doors: The Paradox of DC's Private Schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a well known fact that most (not all, most) people that send their kids to private school are racist, whether they admit it to themselves or not. I just wish people would be honest with themselves about the fact that they only want the “right kind” of diversity- the diversity that is palatable to them. It’s the same people who put those yard signs preaching inclusivity who are the worst of the lot. I prefer people to be open about their racism.

I don’t think this is correct actually. Maybe classist but not racist. They want their kids in school w families who raise their kids in similar ways. Race is not the issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inclusion = entropy, lowest common denominator behavior and environment. Almost by definition, it is impossible to have anything better than average WITHOUT exclusion. How could it be otherwise, that’s basically a tautology? Anything worth having requires a boundary that excludes.

Of course. That’s why every decent public school has some kind of boundary—a geographic boundary, an exclusive application process, or at least an inconvenient location and a lottery that the least organized won’t know to apply to. The interesting question is why are exclusive private schools going around preaching inclusion, while building their schools on exclusive cost and exclusive admissions?

What 'inclusion' do you think they are preaching, and why do you think inclusion means it would be possible for a privately financed school to include everyone who wants to attend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a well known fact that most (not all, most) people that send their kids to private school are racist, whether they admit it to themselves or not. I just wish people would be honest with themselves about the fact that they only want the “right kind” of diversity- the diversity that is palatable to them. It’s the same people who put those yard signs preaching inclusivity who are the worst of the lot. I prefer people to be open about their racism.

I don’t think this is correct actually. Maybe classist but not racist. They want their kids in school w families who raise their kids in similar ways. Race is not the issue

ELL Oh ELL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a city where private schools proudly champion inclusivity and social justice, there’s an ironic twist: these values are nurtured within exclusive bubbles, far removed from the diverse realities of public schools. Parents preach the virtues of equity but often pay top dollar to avoid sending their children to public institutions—the very environments where their talent, privilege, and resources could have the most transformative impact. Instead, inclusivity becomes a brand, polished behind ivy-covered walls, while public schools, brimming with untapped potential, are left out of the equation. Is it inclusiveness we seek—or insulation?

Liberal here with kids in private, and I disagree with your premise. I don't see my school championing inclusivity, or parents preaching about equity. We all know why our kids aren't in public.
But, many of us would put our kids (back) into public if public offered the education privates do - small class sizes, appropriate classroom behavior, thoughtful instruction, meaningful art and music opportunities. I think public school kids should have all of that too. Most of us tried public school first and would have stayed if it were better.

I also disagree that my kid's presence or absence is meaningful to the quality of the school. Not only has that been debunked as a theory, but this is an affluent area with plenty of "talent, privilege, and resources" in public school families. It hasn't transformed anything.

Finally, to the extent my school is concerned with social justice, it's actually nice for those discussions to play out without any crazy parents trying to ban books or get a teacher fired for talking about current events.

If you think all kids deserve this, what are you doing to help make sure all kids get it? Because that’s the crux of the issue. It isn’t hope but action that is required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"...public institutions—the very environments where their talent, privilege, and resources could have the most transformative impact."


This notion is patently false.

Really ? Public schools do not raise funds for parents ? They wouldn’t benefit from wealthy parents ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a well known fact that most (not all, most) people that send their kids to private school are racist, whether they admit it to themselves or not. I just wish people would be honest with themselves about the fact that they only want the “right kind” of diversity- the diversity that is palatable to them. It’s the same people who put those yard signs preaching inclusivity who are the worst of the lot. I prefer people to be open about their racism.

I don’t think this is correct actually. Maybe classist but not racist. They want their kids in school w families who raise their kids in similar ways. Race is not the issue

ELL Oh ELL

As someone who used to work at these schools. This is kind of correct. Class is often a bigger issue than race, but race does come up regularly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a well known fact that most (not all, most) people that send their kids to private school are racist, whether they admit it to themselves or not. I just wish people would be honest with themselves about the fact that they only want the “right kind” of diversity- the diversity that is palatable to them. It’s the same people who put those yard signs preaching inclusivity who are the worst of the lot. I prefer people to be open about their racism.

I don’t think this is correct actually. Maybe classist but not racist. They want their kids in school w families who raise their kids in similar ways. Race is not the issue

ELL Oh ELL

As someone who used to work at these schools. This is kind of correct. Class is often a bigger issue than race, but race does come up regularly.

Yep- POC, especially black folks, are often seen as charity cases, not much different than stray animals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a well known fact that most (not all, most) people that send their kids to private school are racist, whether they admit it to themselves or not. I just wish people would be honest with themselves about the fact that they only want the “right kind” of diversity- the diversity that is palatable to them. It’s the same people who put those yard signs preaching inclusivity who are the worst of the lot. I prefer people to be open about their racism.

I don’t think this is correct actually. Maybe classist but not racist. They want their kids in school w families who raise their kids in similar ways. Race is not the issue

ELL Oh ELL

As someone who used to work at these schools. This is kind of correct. Class is often a bigger issue than race, but race does come up regularly.

I’m kind of undercover as a parent at our private, because I’m white and kept my married name. DH is Asian and DD has his last name. We aren’t crazy social and aren’t at school a lot, so other than DD’s close friends, most people don’t know our family.

I should not have been shocked by the things people have said to and in front of me without realizing who I am, but I was shocked. What they’ve revealed is that people of color should be grateful just to be there, they look down on people who don’t live in a few select white people neighborhoods (“this should really be a neighborhood school”, “when people live far away it makes it less socially cohesive” are the comments that pop up when people suggest expanding diversity through a bus program) , and they really resent any south, east, and southeast Asians because they are the “wrong” kind of diversity and are “taking” spots that should go to their friends’ white kids or towards “more visible diversity” (I assume that means they want more token black kids in photos?). These are all things people have said right in front of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a well known fact that most (not all, most) people that send their kids to private school are racist, whether they admit it to themselves or not. I just wish people would be honest with themselves about the fact that they only want the “right kind” of diversity- the diversity that is palatable to them. It’s the same people who put those yard signs preaching inclusivity who are the worst of the lot. I prefer people to be open about their racism.

I don’t think this is correct actually. Maybe classist but not racist. They want their kids in school w families who raise their kids in similar ways. Race is not the issue

ELL Oh ELL

As someone who used to work at these schools. This is kind of correct. Class is often a bigger issue than race, but race does come up regularly.

Yep- POC, especially black folks, are often seen as charity cases, not much different than stray animals.

I’m Black and that’s not the case at my children’s Big 3 school. There are several Black administrators, and even more faculty members.

It’s too bad the schools you’re acquainted with don’t offer the same environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bubble that comes with it is the social cost of private schools.

This. My kid has to deal with schizophrenic homeless men, fist fights on Metro, ragey moped drivers, pot smoke everywhere and carjacking thugs** on the regular in their non-school life in the District. You better believe I want to give him a break from this dystopian bullshit when we send him to his bubble private DC school

Why would we want him to attempt to reach his potential among this swill? We don’t hate him.


* yes, ‘thugs.’ You hold a gun to my head when I’m a stoplight you are a thug)

People don't want to deal with this sh*t regardless of race or socio-economic status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is the paradox more prevalent ? In GDS, Maret, or Sidwell ?

Hypocrisy, you mean.

It’s a toss-up between SFS and GDS. SFS for the religious reasons stated above and GDS because it was founded as the private school open to Jews and Blacks but has lost track of that original mission. GDS makes a bigger show of DEI efforts so maybe they win in the end.

Maret is third. They are much more open about not wanting actual diversity and inclusion.

Actually, I forgot about Maret. Have they fallen off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t come across such a refined critique of woke schools.

It all boils down to limousine liberal. It's still the best descriptor of the kind of person who believes that a 60k private is about inclusivity or lives in a $2M house while caring deeply about affordable housing

I don’t believe private is about inclusivity. Whomever says this is delusional.

It’s about the best place for my DC to learn, in a classroom of 12 on avg students, music/sports/arts programs etc. AND I can afford it. I could feel all the same ways as I just stated but if I couldn’t afford it, DC would be in public. As a product of public schools, I made a conscious choice to send DC to private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a city where private schools proudly champion inclusivity and social justice, there’s an ironic twist: these values are nurtured within exclusive bubbles, far removed from the diverse realities of public schools. Parents preach the virtues of equity but often pay top dollar to avoid sending their children to public institutions—the very environments where their talent, privilege, and resources could have the most transformative impact. Instead, inclusivity becomes a brand, polished behind ivy-covered walls, while public schools, brimming with untapped potential, are left out of the equation. Is it inclusiveness we seek—or insulation?

Liberal here with kids in private, and I disagree with your premise. I don't see my school championing inclusivity, or parents preaching about equity. We all know why our kids aren't in public.
But, many of us would put our kids (back) into public if public offered the education privates do - small class sizes, appropriate classroom behavior, thoughtful instruction, meaningful art and music opportunities. I think public school kids should have all of that too. Most of us tried public school first and would have stayed if it were better.

I also disagree that my kid's presence or absence is meaningful to the quality of the school. Not only has that been debunked as a theory, but this is an affluent area with plenty of "talent, privilege, and resources" in public school families. It hasn't transformed anything.

Finally, to the extent my school is concerned with social justice, it's actually nice for those discussions to play out without any crazy parents trying to ban books or get a teacher fired for talking about current events.

If you think all kids deserve this, what are you doing to help make sure all kids get it? Because that’s the crux of the issue. It isn’t hope but action that is required.

DP. The question is what are you doing? I’ve spent my time at BOE meetings where of course the arts education is on the chopping block before looking to cut say central office positions. As lines of people were there trying to save the arts program to the point there wasn’t enough time for everyone to speak, I thought to myself in a the MCPS 2.1 billion dollar school budget was this really the only thing that could be cut to balance the budget? I also attended the community meetings about the new curriculum and observed that the session was just to check a box, plans weren’t altered based on community feedback. I also looked into charter school options being offered as an alternative - again wall of bureaucracy. This was all while trying to get services at the public school for my neurodivergent child but was told basically that they weren’t failing so ….

So like the PP poster said, my kids are in private now and I have zero regrets or apologies. I will donate money to certain enrichment programs that offer scholarships/keep fees low and will donate to public libraries and otherwise keep it moving.

[Anonymous]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/12/31/jimmy-carter-dc-president-voting-rights/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a well known fact that most (not all, most) people that send their kids to private school are racist, whether they admit it to themselves or not. I just wish people would be honest with themselves about the fact that they only want the “right kind” of diversity- the diversity that is palatable to them. It’s the same people who put those yard signs preaching inclusivity who are the worst of the lot. I prefer people to be open about their racism.

I don’t think this is correct actually. Maybe classist but not racist. They want their kids in school w families who raise their kids in similar ways. Race is not the issue

ELL Oh ELL

As someone who used to work at these schools. This is kind of correct. Class is often a bigger issue than race, but race does come up regularly.

Yep- POC, especially black folks, are often seen as charity cases, not much different than stray animals.

I’m Black and that’s not the case at my children’s Big 3 school. There are several Black administrators, and even more faculty members.

It’s too bad the schools you’re acquainted with don’t offer the same environment.

The Head of School at Andover is Black.

https://www.andover.edu/about/head-of-school

"His research has focused on the social determinants of health and, more recently, on diversity in the scientific workforce."